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My self worth is down

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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Is there anyone who can help me? Maybe seeing it will. I'm in a relationship with an amazing man, hes taken on my child as his own, etc. going on 4 yrs together.

But my child's dad wants in his life. I didn't like the idea but my current bf said to give him a chance.. A second chance... 7 years old, second attempt at being a dad...

He was a drug addict, gang banger, thief, etc... Only reason he's clean now is cuz hes in jail. Won't get it for another 2 yrs... But he sends letters, calls, etc.

But my feelings for him are coming back strong. I want to end my current relationship for my ex. End a relationship filled with love, respect, communication... to go back to the boy who abused me, raped me, hit me, denied my child.. He says he changed, i'd like to believe it, but its jail talk!

I don't know whats wrong with me, I dont know why I love him. Part if me wishes him dead so then I won't think of him like that, won't ruin a great relationship cuz my mind thinks I still love him.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:31 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 25, 2012 at 3:35 PM
When I was with him and before (honestly until I met my current bf) my self worth had always been low/bad... I feel like I'm going back into that mind set if I even entertain the thoughts of being with him. I don't want to be that female again.. I want the control back, the one I feel that he takes away when he comes into our lives
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