Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

They are mad at me for getting a divorce.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies

My kids are 3 and 5. For the past year their dad has become an alcoholic and I'm done with it. He goes straight to the bar after work or to a friend's house then comes home, destroys the house and accuses me of being out partying. I was watching a video tap of our 5 year old's birthday party and the whole time my DH is laying on the couch because he had a hangover. He can't do anything without having at least a few beers. Kid parties, day at busch gardens, halloween. It's sickening and I'm not going ot have my kids being raised by this. 

Moving on to who is mad at me. His family is mad at me. His mother and sister particularly. They loved me. In the beginning I fit right in the family. My husband and I were the modern day version of his mother and father. The only difference is his mother stuck with her husband through his drinking. He wasn't as bad as my husband though. Either way, everyone expected me to stick with my husband even through his alcoholism. I'm not. I will not do it. I don't deserve to be around this and neither do my children. 

My MIL is now pissed at me for tearing the family apart because her precious baby boy couldn't be to blame of course. So she is refusing to watch our children now. How is she going to do that? Theyaren't just my kids. They are her biological grandkids. Why would she want to do that? It's just heart breaking. I'm having to drive 40 minutes every morning to drop my kids off at my sister's house who is like a stranger to them. They hate it and I hate it. 

The only one on my side is his other sister because she knows. She realizes what kind of person her brother is and she understands why I won't put up with it. 

I will add more in a bit maybe but I just needed to get that out.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 25, 2012 at 6:21 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
itseebitsee
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 6:23 PM
1 mom liked this
That's so typical of people who are co-dependent to blame the victims of someone else's addiction. Sorry. You are right
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 25, 2012 at 6:26 PM


Quoting itseebitsee:

That's so typical of people who are co-dependent to blame the victims of someone else's addiction. Sorry. You are right

Thank you. They just don't understand anything and are looking at it so one sided. 

Lovemusic0811
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 6:27 PM
1 mom liked this
You did what was right don't worry what others say
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mommykate4
by Gold Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 6:30 PM

you definitely do deserve better and in the end she will have only missed out by not spending time w/ her grandchildren...sorry ur having to go through this..alcoholism is such a sad thing:(

Aeonix
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 6:36 PM
I honestly wouldn't worry what his family thinks, you know the truth. My ex's family was the same way, they wouldn't believe my ex was abusive. Even when he was arrested, they wanted me to forgive him and stay!! I did like an idiot, but I finally got out. I think deep down they know he was the problem, even though on the surface they are still in denial. I think it's because admitting his faults is also admitting they had a hand in them.

I'd just ignore what they do/say. It's hard, but eventually they will come around, and if they don't, your kids are better off without them. But my guess is, they will see the error of their ways and realize what they are missing.
cLanief
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 6:37 PM
Fuck em
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sfkdny
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 6:39 PM

my MIL and SIL always like to blame me for the issues they have with their son/brother (my DH)

pisses me off to no end

good for you for not being co-dependent

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 25, 2012 at 6:41 PM

I know this might seem like a shock, but people who are irrational will always side with the family member even if they are wrong. I'm sorry this is happening to you! My husbands family would do the same, at least the ones who already proved to me, it doesnt matter what I do, how many kids I have with my husband, how long we are dating, I am a visitor. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 25, 2012 at 6:42 PM
1 mom liked this

Agreed, they probably need al anon!

Quoting Aeonix:

I honestly wouldn't worry what his family thinks, you know the truth. My ex's family was the same way, they wouldn't believe my ex was abusive. Even when he was arrested, they wanted me to forgive him and stay!! I did like an idiot, but I finally got out. I think deep down they know he was the problem, even though on the surface they are still in denial. I think it's because admitting his faults is also admitting they had a hand in them.

I'd just ignore what they do/say. It's hard, but eventually they will come around, and if they don't, your kids are better off without them. But my guess is, they will see the error of their ways and realize what they are missing.


2rays0fsun
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 6:46 PM
1 mom liked this

just try your best to ignore them. At least his other sister is able to understand what's going on. You're definitely doing the healthy thing for you & your kids (and probably even your dh) by leaving, so don't let them discourage you. GL.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)