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I wish I wouldn't have divorced my husband.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 40 Replies

When I was 22 I married my husband. I had been dating him since I was 17 and even dropped out of college because I couldn't stand being away from him. We had a wonderful life before kids-and please don't think that I regret having my kids for a minute, i'm not saying that AT ALL- but we had a lot of money. He is 7 years older than me and his business was doing great, I got a good job at a dental office. We went on vacations, had a boat, had 3 cars, lots of friends. Life was perfect. 

2 years later we had a baby boy. Life was still perfect. We went on vacations, I was a great mom, always taking him on fun outings and surrounding us with the best people. So we decided 3 years after our little boy, we would add another to the mix. About a year after our daughter was born things went down hill. My husband wasn't doing as well with his business so he was stressed a lot. We had put our son in private school where he was failing miserably. He had hand-eye cordination problems and wasn't up to par with the other preschoolers. Later I realized that this private school he was in was horrible and not helping him at all. Anyways we had him in therapies and were struggling with bills and raising 2 kids. Life was not so perfect. My husband started going out more and having more friends that I did not approve of. They were bad people. They stole from me and him and he was in denial. 

Here I am at 28 years old and I was not happy. I hated his friensd and I hated how much he was hanging out with them. It seemed like he always put them above us. It upset me and eventually we got a divorce. 

Now fast forward to 12 years later I regret it. I've been regretting it for a few years now. He's grown up and is a wonderful family man now. He doesn't go out anymore. I feel like if I could have just stayed with him then my life would be so much better. If I would have just stuck it out for a few years, our family could be perfect again. My daughter and I do not have a good relationship. She was too young to understand anything going on back then and she just sees her dad now. He's changed so much. He loves family time and staying home. He cooks dinner for them and always wants to go places or do things. Because we are split, our finances are split and it causes a lot of burden on me. I don't have the same job I had 12 years ago. I make a LOT less. I can't give my kids a lot of thigns that I could if I was still with their father. 

My daughter is just always angry at me for some reason because we both know if I would have stuck it out then we could be that perfect family. 

It just makes me really sad to know that I gave up. I was young and stupid. I didn't try hard enough and yes my ex is to blame but he wasn't ready to give up. I was though. I have moved on. Had many relationships, serious and casual,but I still look back on those times I was married to him and regret ever leaving him. I just know life would be better for my kids. 

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ShesALady
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:32 PM
2 moms liked this
You can't get back together? You made the right decision for that time. He may not have changed if you were still married. Maybe that was his wake up call when he went through the divorce.
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Autumn19
by Gold Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:33 PM
that really sucks.
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lauraschatz
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:34 PM
Is he remarried or in serious relationship? Does he know how you feel?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:36 PM


Quoting ShesALady:

You can't get back together? You made the right decision for that time. He may not have changed if you were still married. Maybe that was his wake up call when he went through the divorce.

No. He has a serious girlfriend. But I see what you are saying

lovingmommy4316
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:36 PM
Is he remarried now? Are you still in love with him or the " IDEA " of him now ? Have you talked to him about it ? Sorry so many questions.. just needed a little more info
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cthemoon
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:37 PM

shoot...yeah, but maybe it just appears that he's the perfect guy now.....Move on, or maybe try to talk to him-but if he is involved with ANyone else-do NOT say a word.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:38 PM


Quoting lauraschatz:

Is he remarried or in serious relationship? Does he know how you feel?

He's been in a relationship for about 7 years now and while he's told me that he's never getting married again, he does plan to stay with her. We did talk once about 5 years ago but he said he couldn't do that to his gf because she has cancer and he feels as if she needs him now so he won't leave her. 

AEP210
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:39 PM
That sucks. U don't know what u have til it's gone...

No advice here.
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themissheather
by on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:39 PM
Does he know you feel this way?

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting ShesALady:

You can't get back together? You made the right decision for that time. He may not have changed if you were still married. Maybe that was his wake up call when he went through the divorce.

No. He has a serious girlfriend. But I see what you are saying

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Apr. 25, 2012 at 9:39 PM


Quoting lovingmommy4316:

Is he remarried now? Are you still in love with him or the " IDEA " of him now ? Have you talked to him about it ? Sorry so many questions.. just needed a little more info

He's in a serious relationship. I don't think I am in love with him but I love him as a person. We talked once but it never went any where. 

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