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DH Is Upset I Didn't Ask His Permission First...

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I am a long-time member of a bowling league. The long-time secretary/treasurer is leaving after this season to take a well-deserved break (she's been doing it for 15 years straight). The owner of the bowling alley asked me yesterday if I would be willing to take over as secretary/treasurer next season. I said yes.

I came home and was excited to tell hubby about it and he expressed disappointment that I had accepted it without first discussing it with him. It's an elected position but with the owner nominating me, I'm pretty much a shoo-in. It really only involves collecting money from league members each week and turning it in before I've left for the evening and running a short introductory meeting at the beginning of the season and a closing/payout meeting at the end of the season. It won't take any time away from my family obligations at all.

Would you have told the owner you needed to discuss it with your spouse before accepting? Honestly it didn't even cross my mind to do so!

by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 10:11 AM
Replies (31-40):
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 11:57 AM

is hubby usually controlling?  perhaps he was just having a hard day that day?

by Anonymous 3 on Apr. 27, 2012 at 11:57 AM

Is he controlling in other things to?


by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 11:59 AM
Wtf? Why would you need to discuss that with him? Its not like it will take time away from him or money... Wtf is all I can say lol
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by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 11:59 AM
No I wouldn't.
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 12:06 PM

Quoting blondepegasus:

Quoting Mommy0505:

DH & I discuss everything, especially if affects the other.  But if it's a small commitment that won't take away from other responsibilities, then eh. No biggie. You still told him!

Maybe he's worried you won't be able to bowl? Is there some particular reason he expressed about being upset that you didn't run it by him first?  Maybe he was planning on running!! lol. 

HaHa...hard for him to run since it's an all female league!

No, he didn't say why he expected me to run it by him first. He does have a slightly controlling personality...he used to want me to go to bed at the same time as him...if he was ready, I had to be ready...little stuff like that. But that's okay because I have a controlling personality too and I give as well as I get!...LOL 

I think he thought it would entail more than it does and possibly take time away from the family.  Anyway, he's fine with it, just was disappointed I didn't talk to him first and I wondered what others would have done.

Mine tried that whole bedtime thing with me too...and I told him flat out that I haven't had a set bed time since I was a kid and wasn't going to start. lol

by Platinum Member on Apr. 27, 2012 at 12:08 PM

 huh?  I don't see why he was upset at all.  He'll get over it. And no, I wouldn't have asked my husband first. For what?

by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 12:17 PM

Permission, no...but I would have discussed it with my DH first.  We always do the courtesy of doublechecking with each other, even with things that are part of our schedule. 
For example, he plays poker every week..mainly Sundays, but sometimes, on Saturday nights too.  But he still says, "Poker this Sunday...we don't have anything going on this Sunday do we?"   And I do the same when I plan on going to the gym, even though I do that at least 3 times a week. 

We think it shows respect to our spouse...and serves as a gentle reminder to the rest of the world that while yes, they are important..our spouses are FIRST priority.  I am his queen, and he is my king.


by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 12:22 PM

I wouldn't want to "ask permission" for anything. I'm sure to let him know whats going on, but he  doesn't ask permission for anything either.

by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 12:22 PM

It's not like you are taking a job across the's a bowling league you go to every week regardless...So no it would never even cross my mind to discuss it with my dh...

by Anonymous 4 on Apr. 27, 2012 at 12:22 PM

 I would only feel I had to discuss it with my husband if it included some major change, like a move or something along the lines of that. Otherwise, no, I am a grown woman and I can make my own decisions.

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