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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Accused of Cheating AGAIN! *edited* *Update!*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 Ok. So back story and I GET that I am going to get some comments of pretty much WTF anyways.. But I have fallen "victim" to being a naive and silly woman and... well... I know that already!! (that was sarcasm)

Anyways, I just got married in Febuary... But in November there were rumors and ONE comfirmed (from him) cheating event. Many people around were saying he was sleeping with multiple people. One person saying these things includes his best friend and our roommate at the time. Well.. I let that go. I forgave him for the one incident (I know.. I get it... Stupid me)

WELL He's been acting in the same a**hole mood he did last time. There was a rumor at his job that he had gotten caught with a girl "making out" but nothing ever came of that. Well I let that go, because he didn't get in trouble so I figured it was false. That I knew of.

Last night I figured out a number in his phone was actually that of this girl that the rumors are flying about (It was under the name Randal). Which even when he was messing around before he still had her number of the right name.

But I spoke to his coworker and she told me that there was more going on that the HAD been caught and had the schedules split up so they weren't working together and that when I was gone for a funeral that they were messing around and in plain sight and he didn't even care. Most of the people up at work didn't even know he was married..

So... Since this has gone on before... And I was stupid and didn't listen THEN... would you believe someone you barely know, or your husband that says he isn't messing around with this girl?

I understand I have been naive and turned a blind eye too many times. I just hate to be wrong and be accusing my husband of something he is ACTUALLY innocent of.

He is also not working at the job where this girl is anymore. I spoke to them last week because he did end up losing his job (unrelated circumstances) would it be innappropriate to go up there and ask them if those two WERE really seperated for that reason? I don't know what to go nosing where I don't belong. Please let me know what you would do.

I love him, but I am fed up with being treated like shit. We should have never gotten married... But... well I did... But what to do now? Would you give up on something thats still supposed to be new and in the thrill stage or would you automatically react and kick him on his ass and throw away the rest of the relationship?

*edited for content* thank you

UPDATE:

Shortly after posting this, my little sister was driving by the house (I was at work) and the car was there. He SAID he was on his way to another town and then to my parent's house. My sister knew all of the rumors and everything.. So I told her to stop in with the pretense of picking something up. Well the sh* hit the fan.. And my BIL broke down my bedroom door (didn't exactly want that lol) hubby wasn't caught exactly in the act like I originally thought. But just before, where he was naked and the nasty girl not quite.

That was Sunday.

Since then he has been trying to make amends. I have been staying with my parent's, because its really the only place I could go. He has been at the house just because I didn't want to stay there and sleep on that bed and I haven't told him to leave yet. He SAYS he wants to be better, that this time he really wants to change.. That he wasn't thinking and had a lot of emotional crap going on. Even went as far as saying he didn't want to have sex with me because I had just lost a family member a little more than a week ago (yeah.. Because losing an important part of the family and a husband in less than 3 weeks makes it soooo better) He said that he has wanted to talk to me but didn't know how for a while about what was going on with him. All of this stuff is fine and dandy... But doesn't change the fact that a nasty whore was about to lay down on my bed and expose her nastiness to the world.

Also, he says this was the only time... But aside from the rest above, I also found "sexy" photos on his phone with messages from her like "baby, do you like this?" and some other nasty junk. I asked her myself and she said more than once.. But he denies it and says that was the ONLY time something has happened.. I believe him as much as I believe that you can "accidently cheat"

Sorry so long.

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 29, 2012 at 1:03 PM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 29, 2012 at 1:22 PM

 We already barely have sex (from almost every other day to not every day to only 2-3 times THIS MONTH TMI) But no i do not want to catch a disease from him being a scumbag. I just dont know if I should go off of word of mouth or wait for solid proof.

Quoting LovelyBugs:

I'm not going to say it was stupid for you to forgive him...the fact is you tried to be the bigger person and trust in your DH as a wife should...however he has not shown you the respect you deserve and he is continuing in his ways...at this point your tired of it and my suggestion would be cut your losses...you don't need that in your life. Are you willinmg to catch an STD from him are you willing to deal with pyscho women..there will be one one day? If your answer is no leave now and stop having sex with him

 

LovelyBugs
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 1:26 PM
Girlie the fact that you are tired of it is all the proof you need...you have worked and trusted in your marriage and he has not...he is hiding numbers under a man's name...get out now before it takes a huge toll on your self worth...it will take a toll believe me.

Quoting Anonymous:

 We already barely have sex (from almost every other day to not every day to only 2-3 times THIS MONTH TMI) But no i do not want to catch a disease from him being a scumbag. I just dont know if I should go off of word of mouth or wait for solid proof.


Quoting LovelyBugs:

I'm not going to say it was stupid for you to forgive him...the fact is you tried to be the bigger person and trust in your DH as a wife should...however he has not shown you the respect you deserve and he is continuing in his ways...at this point your tired of it and my suggestion would be cut your losses...you don't need that in your life. Are you willinmg to catch an STD from him are you willing to deal with pyscho women..there will be one one day? If your answer is no leave now and stop having sex with him

 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
stickyfingers
by Platinum Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 1:27 PM
i would get out of the relationship. u cant trust him. a marriage should be built on trust. that should be the foundation...
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 29, 2012 at 1:28 PM

 I didn't particularly want to get married (I know this wont make sense) but he said it was a now or never thing (I should have picked never) and fought tooth and nail until the day of. But I did/do love him and we had spoken exstensively about what happened in the past and that we vowed it would not happen again. I believed him when he said he was sorry and those days were behind him. I knew what i signed up for... But.. idk

Quoting Anonymous:

Why in the world would you marry a known cheater???

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 29, 2012 at 1:29 PM

 I just feel like I am cheating him, god, and the sanctaty (sp) of marriage by giving up. When I said I do I meant for life not... Two months :(

Quoting LovelyBugs:

Girlie the fact that you are tired of it is all the proof you need...you have worked and trusted in your marriage and he has not...he is hiding numbers under a man's name...get out now before it takes a huge toll on your self worth...it will take a toll believe me.

Quoting Anonymous:

 We already barely have sex (from almost every other day to not every day to only 2-3 times THIS MONTH TMI) But no i do not want to catch a disease from him being a scumbag. I just dont know if I should go off of word of mouth or wait for solid proof.


Quoting LovelyBugs:

I'm not going to say it was stupid for you to forgive him...the fact is you tried to be the bigger person and trust in your DH as a wife should...however he has not shown you the respect you deserve and he is continuing in his ways...at this point your tired of it and my suggestion would be cut your losses...you don't need that in your life. Are you willinmg to catch an STD from him are you willing to deal with pyscho women..there will be one one day? If your answer is no leave now and stop having sex with him

 

 

LovelyBugs
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 1:33 PM
That's the thing..you are working on it, he is not...he's the one who doesn't care about it and you can't make him care.

Quoting Anonymous:

 I just feel like I am cheating him, god, and the sanctaty (sp) of marriage by giving up. When I said I do I meant for life not... Two months :(


Quoting LovelyBugs:

Girlie the fact that you are tired of it is all the proof you need...you have worked and trusted in your marriage and he has not...he is hiding numbers under a man's name...get out now before it takes a huge toll on your self worth...it will take a toll believe me.


Quoting Anonymous:


 We already barely have sex (from almost every other day to not every day to only 2-3 times THIS MONTH TMI) But no i do not want to catch a disease from him being a scumbag. I just dont know if I should go off of word of mouth or wait for solid proof.



Quoting LovelyBugs:

I'm not going to say it was stupid for you to forgive him...the fact is you tried to be the bigger person and trust in your DH as a wife should...however he has not shown you the respect you deserve and he is continuing in his ways...at this point your tired of it and my suggestion would be cut your losses...you don't need that in your life. Are you willinmg to catch an STD from him are you willing to deal with pyscho women..there will be one one day? If your answer is no leave now and stop having sex with him


 


 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
randi1978
by Murdoc's Mistress on Apr. 29, 2012 at 1:37 PM

Call it quits.  Seriously.  You might not even have to divorce, but simply get the marriage annulled since it hasn't been that long (not sure how it works if you two have children together, even before marrying).  I would seriously contact someone and find out if you can divorce or simply get an annullment.  And that would more or less mean that the marriage never happened.

tginn20
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 1:41 PM

I think the logical answer here is that all the cheating was done on accident- REALLY- Accidental cheating is real!! IT IS!!!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 29, 2012 at 1:49 PM

 We dont have children but WERE in the process of TTC-ing (not now)

Quoting randi1978:

Call it quits.  Seriously.  You might not even have to divorce, but simply get the marriage annulled since it hasn't been that long (not sure how it works if you two have children together, even before marrying).  I would seriously contact someone and find out if you can divorce or simply get an annullment.  And that would more or less mean that the marriage never happened.

 

taina361
by Bronze Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 1:50 PM

 If its bad now can you imagine later on? Dont be the kind of wife that spends years with there cheater husbands wasting their life to then realized its not worth it mama. You just got married two months ago you should be in the honeymoon for gods sake. It doesnt matter how long u dated.

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