So, long story short as i can....I have 3 girls. 8, 5 and 2. The 8yr old is typical, the 5 yr old has autism (PDD-NOS), ADHD, and ODD. This was my 5 yr old lilly's 1st year at the same school as my 8 yr old Caitlin. Lilly is in kindergarten and Caitlin is in 2nd grade.
The transition for Lilly was a huge one, and despite our fighting my Lilly is on a 504 (whole nother story) instead of an IEP for the 1st time.
The year started ok, perfect at school, a wreck at home (same as ussual). She holds in the stress of the day, then explodes at home.
Then she slowly started picking on her big sister Caitlin- first on the bus with name calling and agrivating. Then it started happening in school at recess, (they have recess at the same time), in the halls, and waiting for the bus to pick them up to go home. At this point I talked to the school and they said they would keep a watch out for it.
Then in Feb. things escalated and Lilly started hurting Caitlin at school like she tries to do at home, but it does not happen most of the time because we do not leave her alone with her sisters.
I talked to the school and they setup a meeting with the guidance counselor and my two girls. That was a waste of time. The GC came out of it saying Caitlin was over reacting. Lilly is very cute, and everyond thinls she is an angel. I was pissed! She was coming home with marks. I will admitt Caitlin will react very strongly when Lilly does something to her, but i do not blame her cus she knows the bigger she reacts the less Lilly with do to her.
Caitlin has been so upset over it and acting more down and depressed especially when it comes to school.I started doccumenting every incident and telling Caitlin to tell a teacher Everytime so they have it noted even if they think she is over reacting.
And Everytime she tells her teacher they say, its just sibling rivalry, just move away from her. Last week, Lilly pulled Caitlin 's hair (and pulled hair out admittedly by Lilly) and pushed her down. When Csitlin told the aid outside she said, "Caitlin you are older than her, stop letting your little sister pick on you!". She was so upset. Caitlin knows the more she fights back the worse Lilly with retaliate. She is so aggressive and has done some extreme things at home like squeezing her hands around her neck. Luckily I was there and stopped it and now due that and other issues she is NEVER alone with her sisters. (we have home therapists working with her on this)
And now for the worst of it. Caitlin has been bummed that a bunch of friend from the bus being mean to her and not wanting to sit by her or play with her. So Lilly admitted to her proudly that she had been behind Caitlin's back telling all her friends that she mean and a jerk and telling them not to play with her. Poor Caitlin was devistated, and she confirmed it was true with her friends.
I told the school and referred to it as Lilly bullying her sister. They said it is not concidered bullying with siblings.
I have a meeting for Lilly's 504 and am bringing this to the table. I know I am gonna get the it's just a sibling thing!! I have been researching laws or regs for this and looking for articles dealing with this but can not find anything.
Has anyone delt with this, heard of this kind of issue, or have ANY thoughts or ideas!!
Thank you all so much!