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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I think I am failing as a mother

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I am divorced and raising 4 kids all by myself. They never see their dad. Its just me. I run an in home daycare so that I am able to stay home but still make money. I admit that I am very busy with all the kids here (I watch 3 kids plus my youngest who is 2 then my older kids after school) and don't have a lot of quiet time for homework, etc. Homework ends up being done later after dinner and I spend so much time with my one child who is struggling that I forget to check my other kids work, etc.

Well progress reports came home Friday and my one son's was bad. Getting F's and D's and it says his homework isn't being completed and its being turned in late. My oldest has straight A's (thank god) but I feel I am failing my younger two. How can I spend equal amount of time with the younger two who are struggling? I'm here alone. Its hard. It would be so much easier if I had a husband hers to help.

I just needed to vent. I feel like I am failing. Ugh.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 30, 2012 at 10:16 AM
Replies (21-30):
momsawayyy
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 12:27 PM

schedule schedule schedule !!!!!!!! it'll fix everything !!!! write up a schedule try it for a day and then fix/add/take away things that did work well and that didnt. and it helps to make a schedule for everyday bcs monday might need an hour of homework and you have to make dinner were as friday might be no homework but a project and ur ordering pizza. keep your head up momma i admire you for being a strong woman and showing your children that they are the most important thing in your life and your taking on motherhood alone for them bcs thats whats best

MrCruzito
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:08 PM

If I really didn't have the time, I would call the school and ask to set up an arrangement with the teachers of the classes he isn't doing well in so that afterschool they can work together...My parents were aweful at math and I am too and when I brought home a D in algebra, I was told by my parents to stay after with the teacher.  I did, the teacher was happy to do it and a couple times a week I would hang out in his class and he would help me with my homework.  That might be a workable option for you. 

blondieof3kids
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:09 PM

First of all, you are NOT failing my God you are here asking for help and that tells me what an awesome mom you are if you were FAILING you wouldn't be here asking for advice, I would call up the teacher that your son is failing or doing poorly in and tell them what is happening in the home and see if they can recommend a tutor for your son, I know there are alot of college kids who tutor for cheap or volunteer, communication is the key to success of being a great parent and you certainly are one!!!!  Hugs, patricia

CrusherMama86
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 1:15 PM

Maybe set up a "homework station" and spend a little time with each? I dunno. You sound like you have a lot on your plate, but you are NOT failing because you are trying!

corky1990
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:05 PM

 your not failing, we all have that moment of thought. but thats when you turn to us CMs. Try sitting them down all at one time at the dinner table, have your oldest help the younger one also. I know its  hard, but nothing worth while is easy. Let me know if at any way possible that helped.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:08 PM

Is it a legal in home day care? Maybe you can hire a high school or college student to assist you in the afternoons-3pm to closing time. It may benefit you to have a pair of extra hands around-even if its only 2-3 times per week.

3pippings
by Silver Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:34 PM

You are a mom, not a superwoman. I would be struggling too if I was in your situation.

Maybe if it's not too much for your oldest, you can ask him to help a bit with his siblings' homework?

mattiehatter
by Mary on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:40 PM

You are only one person and you are trying. You are far from failing. Get in touch with the teachers to see if you can arrange some kind of before or after school tutoring for them. Try to get them on a schedule.

Gigi314
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:41 PM

Please don't feel you are a failure. Start to take a minute out of your busy day to write down every thing you did that day. Everytime you do something write it down. No not a check list where you write down activities to check off. This is the activities that you did. Then put a number beside them. You will see the things you accomplish. You may also put a time. THEN PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK. Put your children down for a nap(the daycare children). To do this little exersize if you cant jot down every thing you do ater you have done it. Also have a time and place for your older children incorporated into your daycare. Right after their school time as a part of your daily routine. Along with or after school snack time get their homework done, or find a buddy for your son to do his homework at your house under your supervision, during this time. (right after school). Then you will have time for the children to help make dinner.  Don't forget to start the day writing down what you do. Made the beds, washed the clothes, made breakfast, got the kids off to school etc. 

momof3jam
by Platinum Member on Apr. 30, 2012 at 3:52 PM

 You're not failing!

Maybe try having them all sit down with you at the same time to do homework? That way if they have questions, they can ask at the same time...

Does your son's school offer Homework Club? My DS school does twice a week and I have to say, it's PRICELESS! Or maybe your oldest can help him, when you don't have the time? They can all help each other - I think it can help the bonding...

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