My Eighty YO Neighbor Drove Her Car Through My Living Room Window.
And she was arrested. Police found a duffel bag full of money and 8 bricks of uncut cocoa powder (the real stuff) in a false bottom of her trunk. She kept saying it was "That dog!" I thought she was delusional. Turns out she's been seein Snoop Dogg and he was using her for two things, only one of which she did willingly. He came to my door this morning to apologize and pay for the damage. I had been washing all my clothes, so I was naked. He came in to speak to me, and we accidentally had sex. I'm suing him for child support as soon as I find out I'm pregnant.
So.. I took a pregnancy test. It was positive. I called Snoop Dogg and told him. He says that it can't possibly be his kid. He's had a vasectomy. Well.. Shit. I don't know what to do. I haven't had maritals with my husband in months! Could it be that I was impregnated by the Holy Spirit??!!!!