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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

reposting b/c original was real late last night... sorry. could really use some advice though...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I can't get out of my own way and get myself together!


Background:  I'm 25, married for a few years, two kids, dropped out of college when pregnant with my first to work full time, was single at the time I delivered.  (Both of my children have the same father:  DH)  I'm not even really sure what exactly I want/need!!  Basically, I need to lose 60 pounds, I need to get back to school, I need to be a better mother, I need to be a better wife, and I need to take better care of my house.  Issues:

60 pounds:  
-We have a tiny house with no real room to work out
-We live in the desert (literally - military) and the kids get too hot when I take them outside for more than 15 minutes -I try to spend time with my DS (4) when my DD (1) is napping - that seems to be my optimum workout time (wii fit is all we have, we have a Kinect but the room is too small and it doesn't register movements well) but I feel guilty for not spending a lot of one on one time with him
-I recently had surgery in my abdomen and it's still sore
-My husband isn't helpful with the dieting I try, and always wants me to cook italian food (he's italian)

School:
-Lack of info I guess.  Financial assistance, schedule, how on earth I could manage to fit it in right now... I only want to go to be able to get a better job.  If I was not currently a SAHM, I could make decent money, but not enough to be a real contribution.... 

Better mother:
- I feel like I'm not spending enough one on one time with both my DS & DD and I'm worried they're going to fall behind for it.  They are going to be starting preschool & part time daycare soon, so that will help with the social stuff (etc) but I'm just exhausted all the time from money problems, marital issues, and trying to make things work.  

Better wife:
-I have major trust issues with my DH for very good reason, he understands why... but the sex drive is completely gone.  There's hardly an affection, any time with just us, no one we know well enough to babysit the kids, nothing.  

Better care of the house:
This is the part I'm not AS concerned with.  I have clean bathrooms and kitchens, but we just have too much stuff!!  We've donated and sold so much, I feel like we're bare minimum but this house is the size of my old (very nice) apartment.... and I added a husband and a child into it.  It's all we could get here in our price range in such short notice that we had with the military and we can't afford to move to another house.   But it's not NICE like I like it to be.  I get behind on laundry and clutter and doing the floors and it's making me nuts.  


I know this is essentially a list of excuses, but I can't figure out for the life of me how to make it better.  I'm waaaaay open to ideas, practically begging for them.  I want to be healthier, happier, and not so worn down in every aspect.  :(  Suggestions?  Please?  

added on:  I realized today that I don't even care about doing stuff for myself anymore, and I can't remember the last time I did.  I haven't done my hair in months, just throw it up and out of the way, I do the bare minimum of making my face presentable and only when I have to, and I wear sweatpants, tank tops, and unfitting bras.  I'm feelin like crap.  :/

Posted by Anonymous on May. 1, 2012 at 12:22 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 1, 2012 at 2:03 AM

I tried that before, most depression meds turn me into a zombie... can't get off the couch (sleeping).  My past therapist said I had a form of PTSD, hypervigilance (sp), etc.  I'm not sure if that throws depression symptoms or not.  

Quoting zildjans_mom:

Try a Dr for depression it could help a lot and get you more motivated whether its medication or just someone to talk to


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 1, 2012 at 2:04 AM

Oh I wish!!  That would be so nice to have!!

Quoting _diva_:

On your weight issues stress is going to keep that weight on u. It's just happens. U have to work extra hard when u r stressed out. U def need some kind of bag to work out on. Always makes me feel better when I beat the crap out of a bag for 15 mins and is def a great work out!!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 1, 2012 at 2:05 AM

Good to know.  I don't know how to use anything but a treadmill!!!!

Quoting kellieknits:

I go in the mornings and it's usually not bad, except at the beginning of the year (because of all the new Year's resolutions to get fit). But right now, it's fine. I've never had to wait for a machine after the new Year's crowd has given up.


Quoting Anonymous:

Is there a lot of people there?  I didn't even know gyms had daycares

Quoting kellieknits:

El Paso fitness has really good rates. I take Melissa there and she loves the daycare. It's $10/month for me to work out at one location, and $15/month for her daycare, unlimited. They just have a 2 hour limit.





Quoting Anonymous:

Yes actually.  

Quoting kellieknits:

Bliss? That's where I am.








Quoting Anonymous:

I'm not at Irwin.  Out in the midwest!

Quoting HistoryNutty:

Military, right? You at Irwin? Are you on post?











wkukid
by Beach Bum on May. 1, 2012 at 2:05 AM
Quoting Anonymous:



I went to school for exercise science, I actually enjoy posts like this that require me to think outside the box for workouts.
HistoryNutty
by Ruby Member on May. 1, 2012 at 2:05 AM
Oh, ok. You said desert and that's the first thing I thought. We just left there, not wanting to go back.

They do have a Kids on Site program, it's $2 and hour and they watch your kids while you workout at the gym. I thought it was great, but never did it.


Quoting Anonymous:

I'm not at Irwin.  Out in the midwest!

Quoting HistoryNutty:

Military, right? You at Irwin? Are you on post?


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 1, 2012 at 2:07 AM

Well please, pick me apart.  I had an umbilical hernia.  My lower stomach is what disgusts me the most about myself.  That and my upper arms.  Very close second.  I fear having muscles in my arms though.  It bugs me for some reason.  

Quoting wkukid:

Quoting Anonymous:



I went to school for exercise science, I actually enjoy posts like this that require me to think outside the box for workouts.


_diva_
by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:07 AM
If u start at a gym they will take good care of u. Def get a trainer until u feel comfy working out alone or have a daily work out routine down. And yoga classes r fun and kickboxing classes r fun aswell!! Good luck!!

Quoting Anonymous:

Oh I wish!!  That would be so nice to have!!

Quoting _diva_:

On your weight issues stress is going to keep that weight on u. It's just happens. U have to work extra hard when u r stressed out. U def need some kind of bag to work out on. Always makes me feel better when I beat the crap out of a bag for 15 mins and is def a great work out!!


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 1, 2012 at 2:08 AM

Different desert!!  They're making us an NTC post too I hear.... so we must be similar.  The kids on site thing, is that army or Irwin specific?

Quoting HistoryNutty:

Oh, ok. You said desert and that's the first thing I thought. We just left there, not wanting to go back.

They do have a Kids on Site program, it's $2 and hour and they watch your kids while you workout at the gym. I thought it was great, but never did it.


Quoting Anonymous:

I'm not at Irwin.  Out in the midwest!

Quoting HistoryNutty:

Military, right? You at Irwin? Are you on post?



pipsmommy
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2012 at 2:09 AM
Start each morning by waking up before your kids and get dressed all the way down to your shoes. Hair, makeup, everything. You don't have to be fancy, just presentable. Then write a list of everything that needs to be done. You'll be amazed how much you can do and how good you'll feel when you are ready for the day and have a plan.

I swear this works! I've lost 10 pounds and gotten my house back under control after only 2 weeks of religously getting dressed first thing in the morning. Since I have my shoes on I keep moving instead of sitting all day and I'm ready to do anything at the drop of a hat, no excuses for being lazy and unmotivated.

Good luck!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 1, 2012 at 2:09 AM

Aren't trainers expensive?  Due to his pay issues we have about $70 extra a month for now until the wall of backpay comes in.  

Quoting _diva_:

If u start at a gym they will take good care of u. Def get a trainer until u feel comfy working out alone or have a daily work out routine down. And yoga classes r fun and kickboxing classes r fun aswell!! Good luck!!

Quoting Anonymous:

Oh I wish!!  That would be so nice to have!!

Quoting _diva_:

On your weight issues stress is going to keep that weight on u. It's just happens. U have to work extra hard when u r stressed out. U def need some kind of bag to work out on. Always makes me feel better when I beat the crap out of a bag for 15 mins and is def a great work out!!



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