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Obviously God didn't want you to have children..

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

So me and my two friends went out to lunch earlier while our children were in school. It was nice to get together because we rarely can anymore. Well my friend "K" announced she is pregnant and she already has 5 other kids (the youngest is 5 months) that she can hardly afford. Me and "B" were asking her if she was using birth control when she got pregnant. Then she told us that she didn't believe in BC and that she will have as many children as God wants her to have.. Well that would all be fine with me if she could afford them, but she was telling me and "B" that she doesnt know if there going to be able to make the next payment on their car and house. We then asked her if she would ever think of giving the baby up for adoption because our good friend (who "K" is good friend's with also) has been trying to get pregnant for almost 5 years now with no luck.. She looked me at me and B with a bitchy look and said "Never!" We weren't trying to be rude and just said ok, but then she went on.. "Obviously God doesn't want her to have children if he hasn't blessed her with any so why would I want to give her my child?!" I was shocked that she said that because I don't believe that at all.. I just sat there queitly and ate my lunch.. What would you have done? Should I have said something? Did I offend her? Should I talk to her about it? I honestly don't know what to do about the situation..


Posted by Anonymous on May. 1, 2012 at 12:49 AM
Replies (21-28):
stephanie73401
by on May. 1, 2012 at 1:19 AM
1 mom liked this

Am I the only one that thinks the poster of this was the one out of line? People have ups and downs financially. I don't know her so I have no way to judge her...with that being said, you call her your FRIEND and then tell her she should give her baby up for adoption. You, my dear, are a cunt. You are quite lucky. If one of my "friends" said anything like this to me when I was in my first trimester....my hormones would have drove me to shove my salad fork into your eye. That is all.

AnastasiaKorsh
by on May. 1, 2012 at 1:19 AM
Sounds like the response was deserved. You guys were being bitchy. Its not anyones job to be an incubator for the infertile.
teamwhitlow
by on May. 1, 2012 at 1:22 AM

I believe in God and that He has the ultimate say in whether we have children or not but those are my personal beliefs. I couldn't imagine saying something so hurtful about a woman who wanted a child of her own. Maybe the question about the adoption put her in a defensive position...please understand I am not making excuses just trying to add a different perspective. We all say things we later regret and if she is truly your friend just talk it out? I do think you're being a bit unfair in judging her economic situation. Money should never be a reason to have or not have a child.

Monamou
by on May. 1, 2012 at 1:24 AM
1 mom liked this
My exact thoughts. She felt attacked and her response was no more offensive than your suggestion.


Quoting Anonymous:

I think she was out of line for her remark and it was horribly off as God wouldn't do that. If he was then she would have money for her home and her car. But aside from her being an ass, you and your other friend over stepped your boundary. You had no right to ask if she were giving up or keeping this pregnancy. Whether you meant it in a good way or not, you said it wrong. She didn't say anything about contemplating what to do and you should have never told someone what to do with their child. Does the mom with 2 pregnant again owe her sister who can't even have 1 her third child? WTH.... You might want to just apologize for making a comment that you intended to be nice but finding all the wrong words and realizing that there are not right words. This isn't oh you have some extra shoes, so and so needs some. This is HER baby. 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
DaiTilley
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2012 at 1:25 AM
I would have told her "Apparently God doesn't want YOU to have MONEY."
And then I would ask her why she feels she is privy to God's thoughts.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 1, 2012 at 1:29 AM
2 moms liked this


Quoting stephanie73401:

Am I the only one that thinks the poster of this was the one out of line? People have ups and downs financially. I don't know her so I have no way to judge her...with that being said, you call her your FRIEND and then tell her she should give her baby up for adoption. You, my dear, are a cunt. You are quite lucky. If one of my "friends" said anything like this to me when I was in my first trimester....my hormones would have drove me to shove my salad fork into your eye. That is all.

Thank you for the laugh and yes I think OP was a bitch first and this woman responded.  The hormones really had me roflol. I'd of killed them. They owe her an apology. 




Why are the rest of you defending the OP and saying stuff about God not giving her money. The woman was slapped with such ignorance. Can anyone here please tell me what their answer would be if they had a number 3 or more pregnancy and out with two so called friends who suggest to you that you should give your Xnunber pregnancy to another friend who has been trying? 

radioheid
by on May. 1, 2012 at 1:30 AM
2 moms liked this

 While I would never suggest a *friend* give her child up for adoption, I don't agree with her comment about God giving people children. I don't believe God has anything to do with whether or not we have children. I don't believe God takes an active involvement in any of our actions or inactions; God has given us free will, and is more involved in our minds than in the workings of the physical world.

If this girl was/is your *friend*, you had no business suggesting she give her child up for adoption, unless she is living in absolute impoverished squalor. However, I also wouldn't be friends with a nutty religious idiot.


"Roger that. Over."

R   A   D    I    O    H    E    I    D

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 1, 2012 at 2:03 AM
For those of you saying I was out of line for suggesting adoption.. We only mentioned it to her because she was talking about how she doesn't know if she was going to be able to pay those and telling us she might not even get any prenatal care because she couldn't afford it. She was also saying that she didn't have room in her house (it's a 2 bedroom). So me and my friend asked her because she sounded like she was all worked up and stressed about it. We didn't tell her she had to give her baby up we just let her know that she does have other options and even an option where she could still see her child even if she didn't keep it.
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