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i think alimony/spousal support, is ridiculous

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

yep, totally do! I understand child support, its his kid too and should be financially responsible as well as acting like a parent should. But freaking spousal support? he isnt YOUR dad, he just doesnt want to be with you anymore, i think people should kinda just learn to get over it and take responsibility for themselves! 

Posted by Anonymous on May. 1, 2012 at 4:44 AM
Replies (331-340):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 50 on May. 2, 2012 at 10:27 AM

I have a friend who was married for 13 years. His now ex-wife was always considered "high class". When they divorced he had to pay for her house and give her $2,000 a month all while she sat on her ass and hung out in her pool. She didn't try to look for work or anything. After about 3 years he had had enough of it and took her back to court. The judge agreed and stopped the alimony. 

She is now working, but can't afford that $300,000.00 house. She was stalking him constantly and will tell anyone who listens how broke she is. Dumb bitch shouldn't have expected the alimony to last forever and should have never got a house she couldn't afford.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 2, 2012 at 10:28 AM
1 mom liked this

Well you are free to turn it down at the time of the divorce if you so wish. Of course if you are the one earning the money then hopefully your ex would be so kind to you. I will take what is rightfully mine, and what the law says is mine. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I stand by my statement. 

IMO, the alimony is a revenge thing and just happens to be something I disagree with. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Call it what you want to, but in my case I helped my husband gain residency here, I helped him enroll in training schools, I helped him run his business. And if I weren't here at the home making life happen for him. He wouldn't be out there earning the money he is now. He would still be at some funky little factory job using some stolen social security number. So yeah if we were to divorce which is highly unlikely, I would be privy to half of his future earnings under his job because it's a business started during our marriage. There is no legitimate reason for me to suddenly be struggling and destitute raising three children, while he enjoys a lavish lifestyle without me he wouldn't have. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Pathetic! My ex-MIL did that to my ex-FIL. She is actually broke now because she couldn't/wouldn't change her spending habits. lol I am actually with the OP on this. 

Why "take him to the cleaners" just because he doesn't want to be with you anymore? What is the point of doing that? 

If my husband and I ever divorce I know I'd ony want him to help care for our children and that is it. I wouldn't need and wouldn't want his financial support for myself. I see no point in that, especially if we were no longer together. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Yes, and he decided to marry her, and thus give up half of his earnings, so it's a match made in heaven. I know for a fact if my husband were to some day divorce me I am taking him to the cleaners lol. 

Quoting Anonymous:

she decided to marry that dick head, 

Quoting Anonymous:

Lol, wow. Yeah a woman who stayed home and took care of her family should totally be homeless because the dick head who wa giving her a certain life style decides to leave.







activitymode
by Platinum Member on May. 2, 2012 at 10:30 AM
2 moms liked this
Lets say you're a sahm mom your kids are grown (youngest just went to college) and your souse makes 250k per year. Shes just expected to go out and find a job (which so many of you swear aren't out there) and support herself on 20 k per year. That sounds acceptable, right? Wrong.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
amomynous_j
by on May. 2, 2012 at 10:32 AM
1 mom liked this

i think if they were married for quite sometime and she invested HER time into being a SAHM, instead of building a career it's acceptable, temporarily of course. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 52 on May. 2, 2012 at 10:32 AM
i think its stupid too, im glad im not a sahm anymore (i work pt) i just cant be in that situation where i have nothing to fall back on if somehing goes wrong. working keeps my sanity and gives me spending money
Anonymous
by Anonymous 50 on May. 2, 2012 at 10:32 AM

I'm a SAHM. With my work history I know I'd be able to support myself one way or another even if it meant I had to work more than one job. I don't have the entitlement persona as many women do. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Well you are free to turn it down at the time of the divorce if you so wish. Of course if you are the one earning the money then hopefully your ex would be so kind to you. I will take what is rightfully mine, and what the law says is mine. 

Quoting Anonymous:

I stand by my statement. 

IMO, the alimony is a revenge thing and just happens to be something I disagree with. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Call it what you want to, but in my case I helped my husband gain residency here, I helped him enroll in training schools, I helped him run his business. And if I weren't here at the home making life happen for him. He wouldn't be out there earning the money he is now. He would still be at some funky little factory job using some stolen social security number. So yeah if we were to divorce which is highly unlikely, I would be privy to half of his future earnings under his job because it's a business started during our marriage. There is no legitimate reason for me to suddenly be struggling and destitute raising three children, while he enjoys a lavish lifestyle without me he wouldn't have. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Pathetic! My ex-MIL did that to my ex-FIL. She is actually broke now because she couldn't/wouldn't change her spending habits. lol I am actually with the OP on this. 

Why "take him to the cleaners" just because he doesn't want to be with you anymore? What is the point of doing that? 

If my husband and I ever divorce I know I'd ony want him to help care for our children and that is it. I wouldn't need and wouldn't want his financial support for myself. I see no point in that, especially if we were no longer together. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Yes, and he decided to marry her, and thus give up half of his earnings, so it's a match made in heaven. I know for a fact if my husband were to some day divorce me I am taking him to the cleaners lol. 

Quoting Anonymous:

she decided to marry that dick head, 

Quoting Anonymous:

Lol, wow. Yeah a woman who stayed home and took care of her family should totally be homeless because the dick head who wa giving her a certain life style decides to leave.








amomynous_j
by on May. 2, 2012 at 10:33 AM

no, it means behind every successful man is a woman that loves and supports his dreams. 

Quoting Anonymous:

 stupid. lol so basically your saying, a man cant do anything unless he has a woman????

Quoting MrCruzito:

Mmmkay...


Quoting Anonymous:

Ur post is redonkulous



Quoting MrCruzito:

My dad tells me, "Behind every successful man is a woman putting her foot up his ass."...The spouses of successful men are often instrumental in their success.  Without those women, those men would be nothing.  However, he is the one that actually collects the paycheck but she invested her entire adult life into making sure he was successful.  If he wakes up one morning and thinks, "Ive made it, time for me to get a little hot tootsie roll", that doesn't mean that her right to his money has dissolved.  Its like royalty checks! 



When someone invents something but wouldn't have been able to do it without the help of another person, that person gets royalty checks from the profit the inventer gets.   Its nothing more than giving whats due. 


 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 50 on May. 2, 2012 at 10:33 AM


Quoting activitymode:

Lets say you're a sahm mom your kids are grown (youngest just went to college) and your souse makes 250k per year. Shes just expected to go out and find a job (which so many of you swear aren't out there) and support herself on 20 k per year. That sounds acceptable, right? Wrong.

It sounds acceptable to me. The ex could pay for the college since he helped to create that child. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 18 on May. 2, 2012 at 10:36 AM

 but there are plenty of sucessful men without woman behind them? right? just generally speaking...

lol ugh, this post is stupid. im done here.

Have a wonderful day lady! =)

Quoting amomynous_j:

no, it means behind every successful man is a woman that loves and supports his dreams. 

Quoting Anonymous:

 stupid. lol so basically your saying, a man cant do anything unless he has a woman????

Quoting MrCruzito:

Mmmkay...


Quoting Anonymous:

Ur post is redonkulous



Quoting MrCruzito:

My dad tells me, "Behind every successful man is a woman putting her foot up his ass."...The spouses of successful men are often instrumental in their success.  Without those women, those men would be nothing.  However, he is the one that actually collects the paycheck but she invested her entire adult life into making sure he was successful.  If he wakes up one morning and thinks, "Ive made it, time for me to get a little hot tootsie roll", that doesn't mean that her right to his money has dissolved.  Its like royalty checks! 



When someone invents something but wouldn't have been able to do it without the help of another person, that person gets royalty checks from the profit the inventer gets.   Its nothing more than giving whats due. 


 


 

SDarvasi
by Sarah Berri ♥ on May. 2, 2012 at 10:38 AM

Good. =) And so has mine, just a tad. lol.

Hey, it was nice talking to you...even though I have no clue who you are. You mysterious woman you!!

We've had fun. bow down

Quoting Anonymous:

 yup lol. pay up! haha

like i said, reading through some of the replies, my view has changed a lil....lol but i dont still dont think a woman should be entitled to half of what her husband makes(vice versa if the situation is reversed) for 20 or 30 years to come ya know?

if an agreement between a husband and wife is that the wife stay home and take care of the kids, get them to school, clean, make dinner, go grocery shopping, pay the bills. ok. I do all that, plus work. the kids are not home through out the day to make a mess. lol

but in the sense that if i was a sahm, and my husband or so left I would def try to find a job just to have that "extra" in the meantime and the months and years to follow. I wouldnt expect him to pay all my bills as well as his own if we split up. He may make decent money but its no where near enough to afford two house payments(rent and a mortgage, or whatever) two this and two that. I dont deem it as fair. And the stuff they bought "together" should be split equally, or as equal as possible. Idk, i live with my so, and we are very much in looooooooveee lol, but i have a lot of things in storage that are mine(from when i lived on my own, bed, couch, other various items that if we splt up, i'd have still my stuff, and I could easily get a place of my own and not have to buy new.

And I can understand costing a lot. I'm just thankful that our schedules work out the way they do. we got lucky. so we dont have to pay for daycare. i looked it into once for the kids, when he was going to go back to wokring his stupid effed schedule, and it was going to cost us almost $330 a week for both, and i was like uhm, nevermind. lol.

I was a sahm once. For about 4 months, with my dd's dad, he got kinda stingy quick, wondering where the money was going to and stuff, and I just got fed up with the attitude, and went back to work lol. He stopped asking after that. haha.

Like I said, my view has changed a lil =)

Quoting SDarvasi:

You're back! You kept your word...lol. (shit, now I'm out 50 bucks....hahaha)

I totally get what you're saying. I was thinking of it from a point of view of a mother who has invested her entire marriage being at home and taking care of the kids..maybe put aside her dreams to be a mom, and then her douchebag husband has an affair and leave her with nothing. I think she deserves more than just a "start up" kit when it comes to alimony support. It is already a hard enough adjustment going from being a SAHM in a marriage, to a broke and depressed mom who has to figure out how to survive on her own and leave the past behind. I don't agree that the greedy bitches should get anything more than a small severance pay....a lot of those women were only in it for the money anyways. There are lots of those.

But the actual, kind hearted women who deserve it, should get it. Afterall, maybe the woman worked at some point...so technically, they are shared finances. Just like the stuff they own, it should be split.

I feel bad for a lot of families in certain parts of North America. I live In Canada...and where I live, rent is not too bad.. My SO makes a decent buck, and even with his income alone, we can pay rent and bills and car insurance and whatnot, and be good. We also get a little extra a month from the government for our kids...child tax it's called...familes who make under like 60.000 a year get it. We also have our healthcare covered through our taxes...so it all works out just fine. I am pretty comfortable. And I know not everyone has the opportunity to be a SAHM mom, but for us, it would just defeat the purpose of bringing in income ifI worked because I really wouldn't cover anything much more than childcare...and I would rather stay home then if that's the case. Also....I didn't get to with my first girl...so I'm totally taking advantage of the everyday things i missed before. =)

And she'll be in school soon enough so I'll be working one day.

Quoting Anonymous:

 I am back...on a computer. bahaha. See my so and I also make good money. But for one, the cost of living here is kinda on the high side. You cant touch a 1 bedroom 1 bath sudio apt for less than $675 a month to rent.

And the prices just get higher.

I've always worked, even when my ex and I were together. We both needed to work in order to provide for our family.

I dont get how people can stay home, run the roads all day, collect food stamps, be on medicaid, get their electric and heat bills paid and do drugs and shit.

Its really bad up around here....so i see it all the time. =/ but whatev....

if it works for u.

back to the OP....Reading through some of the other replies. Ok, I can see getting some support, maybe for the frist 6 months to a year, to find a job, get caught up on some behind bills, get situated, whether in a new house or just getting used to paying bills with your own money kwim?

But I cant see why a woman(or man) shoulod receive a buttload of money every week or month to pay their bills. especially if they are perfectly capable of getting a job. Chances are if your getting divorced, the other person is going to have to find a place to live, why should they be paying for two places, for years and years? The spusal support should only be a temporary thing.

Quoting SDarvasi:

Welll....just so you know, I stay at home. My SO makes good money, and works his ass off too. We just figured that in order for me to make any extra useful money as a contribution to our finances, I would have to make some pretty good cash. Because the cost of childcare is too high, and I have a 2 year old, and a 7 year old who needs to get to and from school, so the cot would just be about the same as I would make each week. What's the point really, then? SO I stay home with them, but I will be going back to work when my LO is in kindergarten. Two more years....

 


 


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