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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

If you think spanking is abuse

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Do you actually do anything to stop it?

I hear all the time "Oh I dont spank my child because it is abuse"

So if you see me spanking mine, why dont you do anything about it? I bet if i slapped my child across her face you would step in wouldnt you? I think you KNOW its not really abuse, you just dont like it, dont do it, and feel you have to look down on moms who do.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 1, 2012 at 11:17 AM
Replies (41-50):
L1558
by on May. 1, 2012 at 12:14 PM

You get in my face, yeah, you'd better be game. :)

Some can have respectful kids, some CANNOT.

Also...a lot of moms on here probably think their kids are much better behaved than they actually are. I lop them in with those women who think their DH can "accidentally" cheat.

I hardly ever needed to spank. My kid was great.

But if a nosy mom got in my face, it'd be on.

Bring it. 

Quoting redneckmama4:

I'm game:o)

We have older children as well as younger and we don't spank and they are some of the best behaved children around. And people notice and give compliments all the time on how good all 4 kids are-strangers and friends.

People can have respectful, well behaved kids that weren't spanked.

Quoting L1558:

I don't have to rationalize my decisions to any woman out there who wants to confront any legal actions I take to discipline my child, whether it's a swat on the bottom, or anything else.

Honey, you want to get in my face about it, if I finally decide to swat her bottom? You can be next.

Thank God mine is 12 now (and behaves beautifully; I guess I knew how to do this after all). I can't take mommies who think they know everything. At least by the time kids are in middle school, most other parents realize that they DON'T know everything and won't get picky on how you raise them. They are just grateful you want to parent. Issues get bigger as the kids do.



MomNtheRes
by on May. 1, 2012 at 12:15 PM

I heard about that group, and I was disgusted. I've NEVER bragged about how "hard" I hit my child, and I've never enjoyed it. If you're enjoying discipling your child, generally you're doing something wrong. Discipline isn't fun for anyone, regardless of if it's sitting a screaming child in time-out or spanking them. 

Quoting tansyflower:

i keep my nose out of other peoples business...but i did make a huge stink and report a spanking group on here and got it removed from cm.  those woman were sick fucks who wanted pics of you spanking your kids without their clothes on and wanted you to tell stories about how red you could get your kids ass and how much you enjoyed it....it was NOT normal spanking.  definitely a sick fetish and i hope those woman get their kids taken away for child abuse :(


Kmary
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2012 at 12:16 PM

Cafemom:  the home of terrible analogies. 

Just because a person is against spanking, doesn't mean they think it's abuse.  I, for one, don't think it's cruel, but I do think it's totally ineffective and lazy parenting.  Also, just because a person thinks spanking in general  is akin to abuse doesn't mean that witnessing one little swat while out in public constitutes something abusive that requires intervention in their mind.  Too much grey area in how/when/how often people spank.  Unless someone is in majorly huge imminent danger or it was something totally egregious, I tend to follow the policy of minding my own damn business. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on May. 1, 2012 at 12:16 PM
I do look down at other moms who do. I think spanking moms are uneducated morons.
Mrs.Worthen
by on May. 1, 2012 at 12:17 PM

couldnt you send them to kick boxing or karate or something for that?


either way like i said, you go ahead with your nature self..

Quoting LectioDivina:

Actually that's the way almost every mammal on the planet raises their children.  Taking nature out of raising children is not an answer to me....

No, I only spank my children when the consequence of their actions would be too much to bear if they did it again. There's a lot of things that result in death if a child tries it again. ( sticking metal in an outlet, wrapping cords around their neck, running out into traffic)

And they need to learn that consequence to hitting because they will enter middle school, high school one day when someone might try to hit them or they might try to hit someone else. They need to know how to handle themselves when that happens.

Quoting Mrs.Worthen:

...so you only spank your kid when he/she hits you?


ETA: It still sounds stupid to me. Why would you show your kids what people who dont love them do? you cant expect them to differenciate between you or anyone else hitting them other than the fact that you are supposed to be their mother, protector, and care for them. I've never heard of a mother who wants to harm their child. even if its in a "lesser" form and even if its to teach them something... that sounds completely screwy


ETA2: regardless, you go ahead and hit your kid. I'll teach my how he is SUPPOSED to act.

Quoting LectioDivina:

It actually makes a lot more sense than you'd think...

Kids learn action = equal and opposite reaction.

In the real world, if they hit someone, they will get hit back. sad fact.

The point of a spanking is to be a much lessened yet true consequence of what would happen if they acted that way with someone who does not love them.

Quoting Mrs.Worthen:

i dont think its abuse, i just think its stupid to teach your kid not to hit and them turn around and spank them..

pretty crappy example setting IMO

but i dont bother other people, they can parent how they want.








L1558
by on May. 1, 2012 at 12:17 PM

WTF?!?!

Now, that's sick. I agree. I praised my kid in public and reprimanded her in private. Oh yeah, and I NEVER enjoyed it, let alone bragged.

How horrible.

Quoting MomNtheRes:

I heard about that group, and I was disgusted. I've NEVER bragged about how "hard" I hit my child, and I've never enjoyed it. If you're enjoying discipling your child, generally you're doing something wrong. Discipline isn't fun for anyone, regardless of if it's sitting a screaming child in time-out or spanking them. 

Quoting tansyflower:

i keep my nose out of other peoples business...but i did make a huge stink and report a spanking group on here and got it removed from cm.  those woman were sick fucks who wanted pics of you spanking your kids without their clothes on and wanted you to tell stories about how red you could get your kids ass and how much you enjoyed it....it was NOT normal spanking.  definitely a sick fetish and i hope those woman get their kids taken away for child abuse :(



Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on May. 1, 2012 at 12:18 PM

 I dont believe spanking is abuse at all. Its discipline. SPANKING NOT BEATING! There is a difference. However, i rarely have to do it. It never gets that far, 15 minutes in his bedroom alone, and hes a 100% better.

MomNtheRes
by on May. 1, 2012 at 12:18 PM

You missed me last month. I was in a walmart parking lot. And if you truly felt it was abuse, you would call the COPS. If you saw someone punch their child in the face, I SERIOUSLY hope you'd do more than just walk up to them and tell them it's wrong. 

Quoting MrCruzito:

The problem is the degree or intensity of spanking.  Mentally I think any form of Physical punishment is risky.  However I know some parents that claim to be "spankers" and they give the lightest little love taps, my time outs are more effective than that.  Other parents are firmer but on the bottom only, maybe causing tears, this I think is when we begin to risk the childs mental health.  Then it just get meaner and meaner.

If I saw you perform a spanking that warranted it, I would walk right up to you and tell you to stop.  I have never seen anyone strike their kid in public.  Because they know its abuse.   I do look down on moms that do it.  I feel it is a lazy, careless, risky form of parenting.  The most popular reason for spanking is, "My parents spanked me and im fine."...I feel that is an incredibly weak arguement for pro spanking.  That is one of maybe 2 reasons i've ever heard to justify spanking. 

We have evolved people, we are more educated, studies have been done the data has been read, the proof is in the pudding.  Read a book, I have yet to read a parenting book that promotes spanking your kid.  The most famous pediatrician/father that walked the earth wrote his book like 60+ years ago and even HE new spankings were unhealthy, im talking about Dr. Spock. 

Thank You



SundayXC
by on May. 1, 2012 at 12:19 PM

I have given DS a small swat on the butt, he doesn't even cry or anything, and it's only been at diaper change time when he kicks me, and trust me he kicks the crap out of me. I have held down his legs, told him no, talked to him, flipped him around and etc, and when he is getting to where I can't keep him still and he is getting poop all over, I give him a tap, and usually he is just shocked and it gives me enough time to get his diaper on. Then I talk to him about how he needs to behave during diaper time, it's gotten better.

LectioDivina
by on May. 1, 2012 at 12:19 PM

They still get hit in kickboxing and karate... Much harder than I would ever hit them...

Quoting Mrs.Worthen:

couldnt you send them to kick boxing or karate or something for that?


either way like i said, you go ahead with your nature self..

Quoting LectioDivina:

Actually that's the way almost every mammal on the planet raises their children.  Taking nature out of raising children is not an answer to me....

No, I only spank my children when the consequence of their actions would be too much to bear if they did it again. There's a lot of things that result in death if a child tries it again. ( sticking metal in an outlet, wrapping cords around their neck, running out into traffic)

And they need to learn that consequence to hitting because they will enter middle school, high school one day when someone might try to hit them or they might try to hit someone else. They need to know how to handle themselves when that happens.

Quoting Mrs.Worthen:

...so you only spank your kid when he/she hits you?


ETA: It still sounds stupid to me. Why would you show your kids what people who dont love them do? you cant expect them to differenciate between you or anyone else hitting them other than the fact that you are supposed to be their mother, protector, and care for them. I've never heard of a mother who wants to harm their child. even if its in a "lesser" form and even if its to teach them something... that sounds completely screwy


ETA2: regardless, you go ahead and hit your kid. I'll teach my how he is SUPPOSED to act.

Quoting LectioDivina:

It actually makes a lot more sense than you'd think...

Kids learn action = equal and opposite reaction.

In the real world, if they hit someone, they will get hit back. sad fact.

The point of a spanking is to be a much lessened yet true consequence of what would happen if they acted that way with someone who does not love them.

Quoting Mrs.Worthen:

i dont think its abuse, i just think its stupid to teach your kid not to hit and them turn around and spank them..

pretty crappy example setting IMO

but i dont bother other people, they can parent how they want.






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