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Theres a Stranger living In my house...

Posted by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:38 PM
  • 4 Replies
That's how dh feels to me at times. We have grown so distant and it's heartbreaking to me. Sometimes it feels like we are roommates, sometimes friends, sometimes strangers...
we got pregnant early on in our relationship and got married soon after. our dd was born very prematurely and it was a huge struggle but it brought us closer. Dd is now 2. we have an 11 week old son. He is ebf so hes attached to me much of the time.
Dh and I have grown apart lately. We both love each other very much and can't imagine being with anyone else, but I don't feel "in love." I know marriages go through stages and ups and downs so I know I'm not giving up since marriages are work at times.
Our sex life has suffered greatly. My pregnancy with ds was high risk, so sex was a big big big no no. we haven't had sex since I found out I was pregnant, through the pregnancy or he was born.
We have a weekend trip to dallas planed. our dd is staying with family, but ds is coming with us. We are going to a nba game and staying in a nice hotel...i want to use the weekend to reconnect with dh.... Any advice?
Also any tips on keeping our relationship fresh when its us at home with both our kids, busy schedules(i sah, he works 7am-6pm), crazy cats, nutty dog and his odd ball parents? (they don't live with us but are a huge cause of stress to me)
Thanks :)
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by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:38 PM
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by Emerald Member on May. 1, 2012 at 2:39 PM

 mama good luck! Just act like the 18 months of no sex hasnt happened. maybe offer him a bj out of nowhere, throw him off

by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:40 PM
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the only tip is you two need to have couple time away from being parents every moment, a date night or lunch every once in a while to remember why you fell in love and got married. to rekindle things and maintain emotional intimacy. its not all about being a parent all the time, me and hubby made that mistake of not taking enough us time to relax hurt our marriage a bit the first year after our son was born, but we got on track with making sure we spent some time each week togehter just talking and being close again

by on May. 1, 2012 at 2:45 PM

Please-- as long as it's medically ok for you-- have some sex already!

That could go a long way to help you guys connect. I couldn't be more serious.

When you're home alone with the kids, I know it gets busy. But even a hug in the hallway or a smile can open little by little until you feel closer than strangers. 

This might make you laugh, but my husband and I have a gang sign we made up for the two of us...we flash our gang signs at each other in solidarity and there are loads of high-fives.

It's good that you are going away for a little fun, and your son is so young he'll probably sleep a lot of the time. You and your husband can connect a little by talking, and I'm serious-- I KNOW your body probably feels like it's being taken over (that's how I felt-- I exclusively BF'd, too), but I think you guys need to connect physically too. One day your kids will be grown, and you and your husband will still have each other. 

by on May. 1, 2012 at 6:11 PM
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