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Recently I have found out that there have been cases of Whooping cough in our area, and there has been one child sick in my daughter's school. My daughter is UTD on all immunization, but I have a 10 month old baby who is at a greater risk of getting sick. My step son comes to us on weekends, and he is always sickly, no one takes the child to the doc, and now he has all the symptoms of first stages of pertussis. I have asked that he be tested before he comes back to our house, and that was met with anger, from his mother and my husband. I am prepared to take my 2 children out of the house until I know that he is not sick...am I being crazy? Would anyone do the same thing? My husband thinks I am over reacting, and is pissed at me, but I don't want to put my children in harms way just because his child is basically neglected.

by on May. 1, 2012 at 6:19 PM
Replies (61-70):
TurtleSquish
by on May. 1, 2012 at 8:06 PM

hell no you're not crazy. that shit kills. it's serious.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on May. 1, 2012 at 8:08 PM

She did ANSWER your question. She said ALL kids are equal in her house.

Quoting MrKennys_Mom:

It not narrow minded at all. Its realistic. Go to the stepmom group and ask. Are you going to answer my question or continue to be afraid of your own answer?


Quoting BaseballMom34:

I'm not avoiding anything...I just don't agree with your narrow minded view....



Quoting MrKennys_Mom:

I think you are avoiding the question because you dont want to admit the choice you would make. I have one child and two step children. I love my step children but if I was forced to make a choice I would absolutely with no shame choose MY CHILD.






Quoting BaseballMom34:

There is no choice to be made they are all our children.....Would you chose one of your children over the other?
Quoting MrKennys_Mom:

So if forced who would you choose?






Quoting BaseballMom34:

I do and so does he..in our house all the children are equal.



Quoting MrKennys_Mom:

Thats not how it works for most people. Do you have any step kids? I promise you if your dh was forced to choose he would choose his bio children.










Quoting BaseballMom34:

Maybe in your world but not in mine. I'll be damned if my dh were to treat my child any differently than our two he would have been out on his ass a long time ago...when you marry a man you take care of him the same as you should any child that might come along with him.







Quoting MrKennys_Mom:

That just isnt how it works. I it comes down to the life of a bio child or the life of a step child the bio child will be chosen everytime.














Quoting BaseballMom34:

Sorry she married a man with a child they all come first if not she needs to get out.











Quoting MrKennys_Mom:

Her actual children need to come first for her. He is not her child.


























Quoting BaseballMom34:

He is your husbands child...its the responsibilities of both parents to care for the child..would you exile one of your children from the house if they were sick? If thus child is not being cared for you need to stand up and resolve the issue not idly sit by and let it go.







Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on May. 1, 2012 at 8:09 PM

Your husband can?!?!

Quoting MrKennys_Mom:

Step parents cant make medical desicions.


Quoting teenmomandpr587:

isnt the dad and you basically contributing to the little boys neglect since you refuse to take care of him and take him to the doctor as well. 

This is your husbands biological child, you cant ask him to pick and choose which children are more important than the others just because the other two came out of your vagina. 



Jaylahs_Mommy
by on May. 1, 2012 at 8:09 PM

I would do the same!

mommy_me
by ~The Three B's~ on May. 1, 2012 at 8:11 PM

 Not at all. My own dd(5) got it 3 weeks ago. The dr told me should would be extremely contagious for 7 days from the time of first administered antibiotics.

Well after we confirmed all this, the babydd(2) went to stay with her granma for that week. No way I was going to put her thru it. She has a heart defect that effects her immune system.

I dont blame you mama, you always have to do what is best for your children even if it upsets others

LiliM
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2012 at 8:22 PM


Quoting poietes:

Seriously, this just gave me a sick feeling in my stomach. That is so so sad. I feel so sorry for those poor children, they deserve so muchbetter. You my dear are the bitch stepmom that we always hear about.

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting teenmomandpr587:

isnt the dad and you basically contributing to the little boys neglect since you refuse to take care of him and take him to the doctor as well. 

This is your husbands biological child, you cant ask him to pick and choose which children are more important than the others just because the other two came out of your vagina. 


yes he can my dh has a relationship with his other bio kids but our children, the children he is raising always take top priority..andthats a promise he has made to me and our kids

This is the same attitude that BMs take when dealing with their kids BFs and the kids the BF has with his wife.  The BM doesn't give a shit about the younger kids, because they are not her kids.

In my life, my kids take priority, to me.  DH splits his priorities between his oldest, and our kids.  They are all his kids.  But my kids - those are my priority.  Just like his ex's priority is his oldest - she doesn't worry about his kids with me.

I don't see this as all that bad.

poietes
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2012 at 8:29 PM
No the part that makes me sick is that HE puts these kids above his other bio kids and she is encouraging it. Like I said they deserve so much better.

Quoting LiliM:


Quoting poietes:

Seriously, this just gave me a sick feeling in my stomach. That is so so sad. I feel so sorry for those poor children, they deserve so muchbetter. You my dear are the bitch stepmom that we always hear about.



Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting teenmomandpr587:

isnt the dad and you basically contributing to the little boys neglect since you refuse to take care of him and take him to the doctor as well. 

This is your husbands biological child, you cant ask him to pick and choose which children are more important than the others just because the other two came out of your vagina. 


yes he can my dh has a relationship with his other bio kids but our children, the children he is raising always take top priority..andthats a promise he has made to me and our kids

This is the same attitude that BMs take when dealing with their kids BFs and the kids the BF has with his wife.  The BM doesn't give a shit about the younger kids, because they are not her kids.

In my life, my kids take priority, to me.  DH splits his priorities between his oldest, and our kids.  They are all his kids.  But my kids - those are my priority.  Just like his ex's priority is his oldest - she doesn't worry about his kids with me.

I don't see this as all that bad.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
militarywife09
by on May. 1, 2012 at 8:31 PM
No he has a mom. That is not OP. Her YOUNG children come first.


Quoting BaseballMom34:

Sorry she married a man with a child they all come first if not she needs to get out.



Quoting MrKennys_Mom:

Her actual children need to come first for her. He is not her child.






Quoting BaseballMom34:

He is your husbands child...its the responsibilities of both parents to care for the child..would you exile one of your children from the house if they were sick? If thus child is not being cared for you need to stand up and resolve the issue not idly sit by and let it go.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kikibix
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2012 at 8:39 PM

Your dh and you need a better communication style.  I would be telling dh that you are very concerned for all the kids, telling him he needs to take his son to the doctor and ask about these specific symptoms and that in the meantime you both need to take steps to protect your 10 month old who is at higher risk.  Keep the kids seperate rooms, disinfect doorknobs, remotes, wear masks, etc.  Communication seems to be the issue here - unless your dh is just a crappy parent who doesn't care.  I'm guessing you came off the wrong way, as not caring about your stepchild, and he and his ex took offence to it. 

BaseballMom34
by on May. 1, 2012 at 8:48 PM
So I guess you should not care for your dh or he you..after all you are not blood related...
Quoting militarywife09:

No he has a mom. That is not OP. Her YOUNG children come first.



Quoting BaseballMom34:

Sorry she married a man with a child they all come first if not she needs to get out.



Quoting MrKennys_Mom:

Her actual children need to come first for her. He is not her child.









Quoting BaseballMom34:

He is your husbands child...its the responsibilities of both parents to care for the child..would you exile one of your children from the house if they were sick? If thus child is not being cared for you need to stand up and resolve the issue not idly sit by and let it go.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
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