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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I hate her! How would you feel?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

What would you do if you found out that your teenaged son had raped & molested BOTH of your daughters? The girls are 10 & under. I'm not talking about what would you do legally because that is out of your hands.

My SD was 6 when we found out that her half brother raped & molested her for the past couple of years. He also did the same to her sister (his full sister) from the time she was 5 until it all came out when she was 11.

BM is consumed in what's going to happen to her son, instead of  worrying about what HAS happened to both of her girls.

She refuses to take my SD to group therapy, so I do it. She is furious with me & DH for pressing charges against her son.

What would you do if these were your children? I hate her for her lack of concern for her girls & their future.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 1, 2012 at 10:50 PM
Replies (71-80):
3xangel
by *Angelicious* on May. 2, 2012 at 9:45 AM


Quoting velvetkitty:

:(  The BM is probably very confused and in denial.  The best thing you can do is to be there for those girls, and if that means taking them to group therapy, then do it.  :(  They're lucky to have someone that does care about them.  

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on May. 2, 2012 at 9:46 AM

I see all these people who say they would disown him ect, in no way do I condone what he has done but obviously there is something mentally wrong with him, on top of helping her daughters this mother need to get him some kind of help as well. Obviously in no way is what he did right but again he obviously has some issues too, she needs to get him to a mental health clinic something. But she also needs to be doing what her daughter needs to do and that is where I feel she is failing. I was raped when I was younger the only person I ever told was my husband and I can tell you that  these girls are going to need the help. But I feel the mom is probably confused ,embarrassed , and dont understand how it could happen. Its just an all around sad situation for all people involved and no one honestly knows how they would approach it untill they've walked in this ladys shoes.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on May. 2, 2012 at 9:47 AM

Coming from someone who has had personal experience similar to this situation - Do the most you can for the girls you can but DONT make their lives revolve around getting over it, they are already going to struggle knowing that they had to grow up a lot faster than their peers and having that experience.  Make sure you discuss the importance of not giving herself away to other boys and show her how good men/boys do not need a girl to do things sexually for them in order to like them.  As for the boy - it is good for him that he gets caught in this.  In my situation the male was not caught or repremanded and is now pyschologically possibly even physically abusive to his exwife who he keeps around to do his house work, cooking, cleaning, laundry, he controls her money and free time, he controls who she sees when she sees them and for how long.  He is now in a domestically abusive situation and I feel for the woman he is abusing and have tried talking with her but as she "loves" him she is not willing to leave him despite the fact they are divorced and no longer dating even.  Basically there are MANY reasons to report and stay on this - for your girls, the boy, and anyone else that boy has any interactions with later in life.

nonnahsregah40
by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:48 AM

If I was the mother I would be pissed to no end- I would not disown my child, but I would not make excuse and would let justice be served. For the girls I would do everything in my power to make them realise it was not their fault and make sure they had counseling. I have been there- my father abused me and I got to go to counseling twice and since my father had friends in high places no jail time for him. So I had to live with him and it for the rest of my life. You sound like a kind and caring women keep up the good work! Don't hate the Bio Mom she is just clueless at the moment and doesn't know what to do. Good luck!

liz.1986
by on May. 2, 2012 at 9:49 AM

I honestly don't know what I do in your situation. I'm so sorry your family is going through this. 

brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on May. 2, 2012 at 9:51 AM
1 mom liked this

 I would try to help both my son and my daughter. He obviously needs help if he did these things. I would NOT defend his actions or act as tho he is a victim. He would face the consequences. I would do anything and everything needed to help my daughters heal.




 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 2, 2012 at 9:52 AM

When is the right age to begin discussing this with my SD? She is now 7.

Thank you for your advice!

Quoting Anonymous:

Coming from someone who has had personal experience similar to this situation - Do the most you can for the girls you can but DONT make their lives revolve around getting over it, they are already going to struggle knowing that they had to grow up a lot faster than their peers and having that experience.  Make sure you discuss the importance of not giving herself away to other boys and show her how good men/boys do not need a girl to do things sexually for them in order to like them.  As for the boy - it is good for him that he gets caught in this.  In my situation the male was not caught or repremanded and is now pyschologically possibly even physically abusive to his exwife who he keeps around to do his house work, cooking, cleaning, laundry, he controls her money and free time, he controls who she sees when she sees them and for how long.  He is now in a domestically abusive situation and I feel for the woman he is abusing and have tried talking with her but as she "loves" him she is not willing to leave him despite the fact they are divorced and no longer dating even.  Basically there are MANY reasons to report and stay on this - for your girls, the boy, and anyone else that boy has any interactions with later in life.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on May. 2, 2012 at 9:53 AM

i was quiet for years when my uncle was molesting me  it took til i was 11 and it started at age 4 good for the girls for speaking  out  !! shame on the brother for what he did you were so right the girls are the victims here and like any molester  the boy probably used threats to keep them quiet for years !

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 2, 2012 at 9:54 AM

Thank you for your post. You gave me a different perspective.

I am terribly sorry that you had to go through that :-(

Quoting nonnahsregah40:

If I was the mother I would be pissed to no end- I would not disown my child, but I would not make excuse and would let justice be served. For the girls I would do everything in my power to make them realise it was not their fault and make sure they had counseling. I have been there- my father abused me and I got to go to counseling twice and since my father had friends in high places no jail time for him. So I had to live with him and it for the rest of my life. You sound like a kind and caring women keep up the good work! Don't hate the Bio Mom she is just clueless at the moment and doesn't know what to do. Good luck!


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 2, 2012 at 9:56 AM

I'm sure he did threaten them & that makes me so upset.

I'm so sorry that happened to you :-(

Quoting Anonymous:

i was quiet for years when my uncle was molesting me  it took til i was 11 and it started at age 4 good for the girls for speaking  out  !! shame on the brother for what he did you were so right the girls are the victims here and like any molester  the boy probably used threats to keep them quiet for years !


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