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32 with a 20 year old child! Wow! *Update*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I can't believe my first child was born 20 years ago today and my second was born 2 years ago!! How far apart are your kids?

*Update*

Ok.  I can't keep up with the replies.

The 20 year old is my brother.  I started raising him, as well as my sisters when I was 12 years old.  He was about 3 months old, my sisters were 6 and 3 at the time.  My father was a deadbeat dad and my brother's father was a deadbeat dad.  My sister's father was and still is not, but he only had visitation of every other weekend.  My mom was a functioning alcoholic that worked a really crazy schedule.  I went to school and came home to take care of 3 kids.  When I was 27 my mom passed away of liver failure and I got full custody of my brother, who was 15 at the time.  No I didn't not give birth to him, but all other manners he is my kid.

My DD was born 14 days before my brother's 18th birthday and 6 days after mine.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 2, 2012 at 12:19 AM
Replies (211-220):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 2, 2012 at 1:38 AM
1 mom liked this

Ugh.  I'm seeing this!  He is legally my child so I didn't lie or twist anything.  DD is absolutely mine in every manner though.  I helped create her, I baked her for 37 weeks, and I pushed her out of my vaj-jay.  I can't say the same for my brother, but he's still mine.

Quoting Anonymous:

Ah but don't you know that Cafemom is actually the Golden Cunt Club. Unless you gave birth to a child it us not your child and you are not a mother. The Golden Cunt Fundamentalists go so far as to say unless a child came out of your vagina you did not actually give birth!

Quoting Anonymous:

No I did not try to twist things to make you think I got pregnant or gave birth!  Never once did I even hint any of that.  Legally he is my child and my oldest child.  So no I did not lie or any of that.  No i didn't got push him out, but I did raise him and he ended his childhood in my custody.

Quoting Anonymous:

So your trying to twist things to seem like YOU got pregnant and YOU fave birth...so STUPID!!!!



Quoting Anonymous:

He ended his childhood in my custody so legally, he is my child.

Quoting Anonymous:

Is the oldest your biological child or one that you raised because you were the oldest and had to take care of the other kids and you feel like he/she is your child?




evensmummy
by on May. 2, 2012 at 1:41 AM

I understand that you never said that. And I do really think that you must have had to be very brave. I think that a lot of people would have crumbled where you had to be strong. I really felt moved to protect you when I thought you had birthed a baby at twelve and people were judging you harshly for that, though. And it ind of feels that you wanted people to think that at first. If I am wrong about your intentions, I sincerely apologize, but I kind of feel like I was about to jump in to protect a bully victim, only to find out the victim was taunting people into bullying them. Not that it makes it right, but it does make people who want to stick up for others a bit weary of doing it the next time. Honestly though, you don't have to defend yourself to me, or even care that I let myself feel this way. Happy birthday to the birthday boy, and I am so glad you were there to protect him when he needed it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you for standing up for me.  I do appreciate it.  Thing is I never once said I gave birth to him.  That was assumed by others.  Yes he is my brother, but also, legally, he is my child.  When my mother passed away he became my child.  His father signed off all rights and he became mine.  So legally and technically he is my child.

Quoting evensmummy:

Once again... you are making a bad judgment on someone you don't know. Did I question her once? No. Was I just about to jump on here and defend her? Yes. And why the hell am I telling you all of this anyway?? You have an opinion of a random person you know ABSOLUTELY nothing about. I have nothing to prove to you. I don't make judgmental comments. I support people. That is who I am. I don't have to prove that to you. So. Now I am going to stop bickering with someone who likes to judge women they don't even know and play with my baby who won't sleep. Goodnight.

Quoting demlilkit:

Well shew has the right to be seeing that she didn't ask you to pry into her life... Maybe she didn't want to answer all the questions because people like you can seem to mind their buisness. She was just.happy.for her 20 yr old. She never once said she gave birth to him


Quoting evensmummy:

I didn't question, or judge for that matter, until I saw that she was being purposefully vague. So, who is jumping to conclusions and judging now....??

Quoting demlilkit:

No she just walk.g how far apart everyone kids are not for u to question and judge her.





Quoting evensmummy:

Hey... she was only getting what she was asking for. She did that on purpose. I was genuinely feeling compassion for her, but she posted this way and it was on purose to create drama. Nope. Not stupid. Sorry.

Quoting demlilkit:

You all are stupid jumping to conclusions with out getting facts. That is what I do not like about people judging others why not just say congratulations and be happy for her instead of picking apart everything in her life.









evensmummy
by on May. 2, 2012 at 1:43 AM

Oh well.. I just replied a long reply back and scratch half of what I said. Goodnight and good luck to you and your family. And I mean that... not being snarky.

Quoting Anonymous:

I didn't think any one would think I actually gave birth to him.  In every other way, then that, he his my child so it's not like I was lieing or anything.   Yes he was born 20 days after my 12th birthday, I started taking care of him when he was 3 months old.  I was not raped, did not choose to have him, was not given a choice in if he was born or not, I didn't plan him or DD, he does not call me mom, but introduces me to his friends as his mom.

Quoting evensmummy:

No. Reread this thread. I said I wasn't stupid.. Please. Really. Reread. I absolutely did NOT call her stupid. I saw someone ELSE call her stupid. That wasn't me. I think it is awesome that she raised her brother. I still think she did this post this way on purpose... Oh well.. 

Quoting demlilkit:

You called her stupid is that not judging?.. no I have not judged.you I find not accuse.you of doing something.


Quoting evensmummy:

Once again... you are making a bad judgment on someone you don't know. Did I question her once? No. Was I just about to jump on here and defend her? Yes. And why the hell am I telling you all of this anyway?? You have an opinion of a random person you know ABSOLUTELY nothing about. I have nothing to prove to you. I don't make judgmental comments. I support people. That is who I am. I don't have to prove that to you. So. Now I am going to stop bickering with someone who likes to judge women they don't even know and play with my baby who won't sleep. Goodnight.

Quoting demlilkit:

Well shew has the right to be seeing that she didn't ask you to pry into her life... Maybe she didn't want to answer all the questions because people like you can seem to mind their buisness. She was just.happy.for her 20 yr old. She never once said she gave birth to him





Quoting evensmummy:

I didn't question, or judge for that matter, until I saw that she was being purposefully vague. So, who is jumping to conclusions and judging now....??

Quoting demlilkit:

No she just walk.g how far apart everyone kids are not for u to question and judge her.








Quoting evensmummy:

Hey... she was only getting what she was asking for. She did that on purpose. I was genuinely feeling compassion for her, but she posted this way and it was on purose to create drama. Nope. Not stupid. Sorry.

Quoting demlilkit:

You all are stupid jumping to conclusions with out getting facts. That is what I do not like about people judging others why not just say congratulations and be happy for her instead of picking apart everything in her life.













Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 2, 2012 at 1:45 AM

Well thank you.  That was never my intentions.  I guess I just didn't think when I posted this the way I did.  All of my friends IRL and on Facebook know that he is my kid so I didn't even think about it when I did it.  I really should have thought about it first I guess.

Quoting evensmummy:

I understand that you never said that. And I do really think that you must have had to be very brave. I think that a lot of people would have crumbled where you had to be strong. I really felt moved to protect you when I thought you had birthed a baby at twelve and people were judging you harshly for that, though. And it ind of feels that you wanted people to think that at first. If I am wrong about your intentions, I sincerely apologize, but I kind of feel like I was about to jump in to protect a bully victim, only to find out the victim was taunting people into bullying them. Not that it makes it right, but it does make people who want to stick up for others a bit weary of doing it the next time. Honestly though, you don't have to defend yourself to me, or even care that I let myself feel this way. Happy birthday to the birthday boy, and I am so glad you were there to protect him when he needed it.

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you for standing up for me.  I do appreciate it.  Thing is I never once said I gave birth to him.  That was assumed by others.  Yes he is my brother, but also, legally, he is my child.  When my mother passed away he became my child.  His father signed off all rights and he became mine.  So legally and technically he is my child.

Quoting evensmummy:

Once again... you are making a bad judgment on someone you don't know. Did I question her once? No. Was I just about to jump on here and defend her? Yes. And why the hell am I telling you all of this anyway?? You have an opinion of a random person you know ABSOLUTELY nothing about. I have nothing to prove to you. I don't make judgmental comments. I support people. That is who I am. I don't have to prove that to you. So. Now I am going to stop bickering with someone who likes to judge women they don't even know and play with my baby who won't sleep. Goodnight.

Quoting demlilkit:

Well shew has the right to be seeing that she didn't ask you to pry into her life... Maybe she didn't want to answer all the questions because people like you can seem to mind their buisness. She was just.happy.for her 20 yr old. She never once said she gave birth to him


Quoting evensmummy:

I didn't question, or judge for that matter, until I saw that she was being purposefully vague. So, who is jumping to conclusions and judging now....??

Quoting demlilkit:

No she just walk.g how far apart everyone kids are not for u to question and judge her.





Quoting evensmummy:

Hey... she was only getting what she was asking for. She did that on purpose. I was genuinely feeling compassion for her, but she posted this way and it was on purose to create drama. Nope. Not stupid. Sorry.

Quoting demlilkit:

You all are stupid jumping to conclusions with out getting facts. That is what I do not like about people judging others why not just say congratulations and be happy for her instead of picking apart everything in her life.










Anonymous
by Anonymous 19 on May. 2, 2012 at 1:45 AM
Of course he us legally but when someone flat out asked you if you HAD him you answered in cryptic words. Why not say, "no I wasnt raped, hes not my BIRTH son" instead of just no I wasnt. Or when someone asked, why did YOU HAVE a child at 12 say, "i didnt have a choice, I had to raise my brother cause his.parents couldnt" instead of oh I had no choice! You knew exactly what you were trying to get people to think, that YOU GAVE BIRTH AT 12! Good job you took over when your parents wouldnt/couldnt but you wanted people to think you popped him out. Glad he had someone to look out for him. Next time thou dont play games though!

Quoting Anonymous:

Where did I twist words?  Where did I even hint that I gave birth to him?  No where!  Yes he is my child, in every other sense of the word.  He legally became my child when our mother passed away, so when I say MY KID is 20 years old, I'm not lieing.  He is legally my kid!


Quoting Anonymous:

No, maybe you should read what I wrote! SHE twisted words around to make people BELIEVE she gave birth. That was stupid!! She answerd questions without really answering a thing, but twisting words



Quoting demlilkit:

So everyone who adopts a.kid is twisting things.to make it seem like they gave birth to the kid. You assumed.she gave.birth.







Quoting Anonymous:

So your trying to twist things to seem like YOU got pregnant and YOU fave birth...so STUPID!!!!







Quoting Anonymous:

He ended his childhood in my custody so legally, he is my child.

Quoting Anonymous:

Is the oldest your biological child or one that you raised because you were the oldest and had to take care of the other kids and you feel like he/she is your child?





maria1613
by on May. 2, 2012 at 1:47 AM
DD is 16 yrs younger than SD
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 2, 2012 at 1:47 AM

Thank you.  Have a wonderful night!  :)

Quoting evensmummy:

Oh well.. I just replied a long reply back and scratch half of what I said. Goodnight and good luck to you and your family. And I mean that... not being snarky.

Quoting Anonymous:

I didn't think any one would think I actually gave birth to him.  In every other way, then that, he his my child so it's not like I was lieing or anything.   Yes he was born 20 days after my 12th birthday, I started taking care of him when he was 3 months old.  I was not raped, did not choose to have him, was not given a choice in if he was born or not, I didn't plan him or DD, he does not call me mom, but introduces me to his friends as his mom.

Quoting evensmummy:

No. Reread this thread. I said I wasn't stupid.. Please. Really. Reread. I absolutely did NOT call her stupid. I saw someone ELSE call her stupid. That wasn't me. I think it is awesome that she raised her brother. I still think she did this post this way on purpose... Oh well.. 

Quoting demlilkit:

You called her stupid is that not judging?.. no I have not judged.you I find not accuse.you of doing something.


evensmummy
by on May. 2, 2012 at 1:48 AM

You, too! 

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you.  Have a wonderful night!  :)

Quoting evensmummy:

Oh well.. I just replied a long reply back and scratch half of what I said. Goodnight and good luck to you and your family. And I mean that... not being snarky.

Quoting Anonymous:

I didn't think any one would think I actually gave birth to him.  In every other way, then that, he his my child so it's not like I was lieing or anything.   Yes he was born 20 days after my 12th birthday, I started taking care of him when he was 3 months old.  I was not raped, did not choose to have him, was not given a choice in if he was born or not, I didn't plan him or DD, he does not call me mom, but introduces me to his friends as his mom.

Quoting evensmummy:

No. Reread this thread. I said I wasn't stupid.. Please. Really. Reread. I absolutely did NOT call her stupid. I saw someone ELSE call her stupid. That wasn't me. I think it is awesome that she raised her brother. I still think she did this post this way on purpose... Oh well.. 

Quoting demlilkit:

You called her stupid is that not judging?.. no I have not judged.you I find not accuse.you of doing something.



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 2, 2012 at 1:50 AM

Believe what you want.

Quoting Anonymous:

Of course he us legally but when someone flat out asked you if you HAD him you answered in cryptic words. Why not say, "no I wasnt raped, hes not my BIRTH son" instead of just no I wasnt. Or when someone asked, why did YOU HAVE a child at 12 say, "i didnt have a choice, I had to raise my brother cause his.parents couldnt" instead of oh I had no choice! You knew exactly what you were trying to get people to think, that YOU GAVE BIRTH AT 12! Good job you took over when your parents wouldnt/couldnt but you wanted people to think you popped him out. Glad he had someone to look out for him. Next time thou dont play games though!

Quoting Anonymous:

Where did I twist words?  Where did I even hint that I gave birth to him?  No where!  Yes he is my child, in every other sense of the word.  He legally became my child when our mother passed away, so when I say MY KID is 20 years old, I'm not lieing.  He is legally my kid!


Quoting Anonymous:

No, maybe you should read what I wrote! SHE twisted words around to make people BELIEVE she gave birth. That was stupid!! She answerd questions without really answering a thing, but twisting words



Quoting demlilkit:

So everyone who adopts a.kid is twisting things.to make it seem like they gave birth to the kid. You assumed.she gave.birth.







Quoting Anonymous:

So your trying to twist things to seem like YOU got pregnant and YOU fave birth...so STUPID!!!!







Quoting Anonymous:

He ended his childhood in my custody so legally, he is my child.

Quoting Anonymous:

Is the oldest your biological child or one that you raised because you were the oldest and had to take care of the other kids and you feel like he/she is your child?






HollieMariex3
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2012 at 1:59 AM
January 20th, how about yours? :)

Quoting MissMia22:

January what? My DS was also born jan 09

Quoting HollieMariex3:

DS1 was born in January 09
My angel daughter was born in December 09
DD was born in October 10
DS2 was born last week, April 12.

All of my living kids are about a year and a half apart each give or take.

 He is my only one until this one is born :)

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