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Should I be freaking out or am I over reacting?

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I really need help with this, I can't sleep and my mind is going crazy! I want go give a little background first so everyone understands and can tell me if I am completely over reacting or if it's ok to be freaking out!
My daughter is a very spunky, outgoing, not afraid of anything, always laughing, Daddy's girl, spiderman loving two year old. Since the moment she could wrap her hand around "bear" she hasn't let him go. She has never even gotten him taken away it would break her heart! When he is dirty she sits at the washing machine and dryer until he is done. She has also been on toddler formula since she was 9 months old due to stomach sensitivities. She has a special cup it goes in and when she is tired or doesn't feel good it is a comfort to her. She has always been a stay at home child, she doesn't like to spend the night at Grandmas very often when her older siblings go she always tell them she is going to stay home with Mommy and Daddy. She is very independent though and has to know what is going on every where and even though her siblings are 7 & 8 she is in charge. She doesn't sit still for very long and has to do everything Daddy does! Recently she has changed though, she is very clingy, clingy to the point of she constantly wants one of us to hold her, rock her, lay with her, or she has to sit in our lap. By constantly I mean every minute that we are with her. She has never been this way since she was born. If we aren't right there with her it is heartbreaking. You would think that someone abandoned her. I put her in a new daycare in Febuary. We both work full time. Now on to what I need help with.

Today she came home with a huge bruise in her cheek. It is black, blue and pink. She said she got it on the slide. When I asked my husband if he received and incident report he said he hadn't but he text the owner and she said she forgot to have him sign it. My husband had to mow someones lawn after work and she cried for about 20 minutes after he left because she couldn't go and she spent the rest of the evening in my lap. When he got home she sat with him on the couch and I went in our room and sat in the bed while I printed coupons to go to the store when she fell asleep. She came in not long after and we were playing with her bear and she was hiding under the blanket and then should would hide me. All of a sudden she started talking about "Grandaddy". Which is the daycare owners Dad that comes in and cooks the kids lunch. According to her this is all he does. She said that he had toys, so I asked what kind and she thought and said just toys. I asked her again if she knew what kind and she said Zaines toys. This is her baby brother. I asked her if they were Zaines toys or they just looked like his toys. She didn't answer and was on to the next thing. She told me that he took her bear. So I asked her why? She didn't know but kept telling me he took her bear. I even asked where he took bear? She didn't know but she said that he was very mean to bear and that her and bear cried. Of course I was infuriated but I kept my cool and she continued. He took bear then he took my milk. Well I knew it had to be nap time, so I asked her I she was taking a nap when he took it. She said she was in her bed (nap mat) and he got in her bed and took her bear and milk and she wasn't asleep. I asked her where all the other kids were, I was hoping she would tell me where her teacher was. She just looked at me with a really weird look like she didn't know the answer. They should have been all around her it's the only full class there. I didn't ask anymore questions I just let her talk to see what I could make sense of. She went on about him being mean. Finally I could tell she wanted me to respond so I asked her why he was mean. She told me he took her panties, so I'm trying not to just go over the edge and yell at my husband to get off of the couch hunt this man down and figure out what the hell is going on, so I asked her if he had put a diaper on her. She halfway nodded her head yes but stopped and went on about him being mean and needing a time out. She started rolling around in the blanket laughing again so I went back to printing my coupons. All of a sudden she got really quite looked me dead in my eyes and said Granddaddy says he is going to hit Momma. She has never said anything like that and no one in our house threatens like that. They fight but they never tell who they are going to hit. She repeated it in the same tone with the same expression once more before I could ask her why he said that, she just said it once more but this time it was hurt instead of hit. After that she grabbed her milk and her bear snuggled up on Daddy's pillow and was sound asleep in 5 minutes. I still had the shocked expression on my face when my husband came in to check on her. I am not sure what to think. I also want to let you know another thing that caught my attention before this happened. Her sister had convinced her to play cards in her room while I tried to feed the baby. She wasnt up there a few minutes and I heard her say she had to potty. I knew she would be down to get her sticker and the baby had just fallen asleep. I had started to get up when I heard a horrible scream and she came running down the stairs. I didn't even have time to finish getting up and she was at my side screaming that her bottom hurt. I put him in his bed and ran to get the cream and a diaper. I tried to look before i put the cream on but I couldn't see much she was screaming in painand wiggling and she had grabbed the cream herself and was trying to put it on. I plan to look first thing in the morning. She never wants a diaper. We have to make her wear one to bed. She hasn't been using the potty very long and still has some accidents at night. Even if we put one on while she is still up she takes it off and uses the potty. Tonight she never did, I asked her if she needed go before I went to my room and she shook her head no.

Should I freak out? Should I stop over reacting? Could this be a phase? Why would she randomly say something like that about him hitting me? I really want to go up there before she does in the morning and demand answers but I doubt I would get the truth and I probably would never make it to work! Can someone give me their perspective?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on May. 2, 2012 at 2:01 AM
Replies (161-164):
by on May. 5, 2012 at 11:15 PM

I concur. Something does not sound right here...please keep us informed. 

by on May. 5, 2012 at 11:49 PM

Sorry all this has happened to you, but you are doing the right thing.  Many other parents are going to be very happy you have taken a stand and are protecting their children as well as your own. 

by on May. 6, 2012 at 12:35 AM

Did we ever get an update?? 

by on May. 6, 2012 at 12:40 AM

I am SO glad you were able to catch this before it escalated to something worse-- chances are, it would have escalated! I am so sorry your daughter has had to go through this, and also that you have had to go through it. It sounds like you're really doing your job as a momma bear... your little girl can't ask for better protection than that! 

Quoting CKelley28:

I am so sorry that I haven't been able to update you all! I had no intentions of her ever going back to that daycare. I didn't care what the doctor said, something wasn't right! I know some of you said I was under reacting trust me I wasn't. I can hold my anger when I type. I am one of those people that tends to react and then realize what just happened. On things like this I know better my mother worked for CPS and if I would have went a beat the crap out of anyone who even tried to speak it would have hurt my case and whatever was going on I wanted to make sure I could prove it and they would pay. She went to the doctor and he looked her over, talked to her and went over everything with me. And I mean with a fine tooth comb, it was two minutes after he had came in and he told me to take her out immediately. His nurse had already given him a short story of why she was there. He did check her and he said there were no signs of bruising or tearing, I am relieved about, but most sick, disgusting perverts test kid to see if there threats are kept silenced, I am glad that my big mouth example was a blessing this time. We have always told her and our other kids that no one is to every hurt them and if someone told them they were or ever did we would make sure they weren't able to even think about it again. She knew he wouldn't hurt me so she told on him and when his name was mentioned at the doctors office she blurted out everything she had told me exactly no questions were asked just his name. I also picked up the incident report that owner had forgotten to give to me yesterday and it was a load of bs and the dr confirmed that as well the bruise that had now gotten even worse could not have been from going head first down the slide because of the location and it also stated she was given time out right after she was hurt because she had been repeatedly told not to go down head first. The slide isn't big enough or slippery enough to even have enough momentum to get a bruise like hers!!! She may not have been abused sexually, but she was abused mentally and physically and this is easy to tell. He web thinks the slide story is completely made up. He said she may have gotten hurt on the slide but the bruise didn't come from there. I have taken pictures of her bruise and the gash in the babies leg they couldn't tell me where it was from as well as a lost of everything I can remember that even seemed fishy. He told me to take them out immediately and not to give her any indication verbally of why they were never coming back. He said to write everything down an send it to her so I have documentation. He plans to report everything, he said it is easy to confirm that he was abused because of her fear of the old man and her behavior change. He also told me to make sure that I send a copy of the letter to CPS since she is state certified. He said she needs to be shut down immediately because there is no way it's just one child. Also when I went in this morning and got the incident report there was a 2 year old boy in the baby crib and you could tell he was there out of punishment. That is just wrong. I dont care how bad a kid misbehaves they don't have the right to do that!! Also the teachers were all gathered on the baby room with the doors to the other classrooms shut which means they had shut the kids in unsupervised, she had no idea I was coming. I will not ever set foot in there, and if I do I will probably be calling some one to bond me out. I told my husband I hope she has the nerve to show up at my door and confront me. She loves drama, she I nice to your face and gossips behind your back. Then she wants to pretend she is the best person in the world. Where I live it's called trespassing, so does the sign at the end of both our driveways, and of someone has the balls to trespass that gives you the right to make sure it never happens again. Oh and my comment about not making it to work, I wish I would have clarified, I meant because I would be in jail not because I wouldnt leave my daughter there I would take them to work with me there is no way in hell I would take them back there!!!

*** I am 21 year old former formula feeding turned breast feeding, cloth diaper convert, anti-circumcising, bed sharing, baby "spoiling", homemade meal cooking, college educated, work at home mother to two beautiful children, married to a wonderful Hispanic man who is twice my age and an incredible husband and father. ***

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