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Should I be freaking out or am I over reacting?

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I really need help with this, I can't sleep and my mind is going crazy! I want go give a little background first so everyone understands and can tell me if I am completely over reacting or if it's ok to be freaking out!
My daughter is a very spunky, outgoing, not afraid of anything, always laughing, Daddy's girl, spiderman loving two year old. Since the moment she could wrap her hand around "bear" she hasn't let him go. She has never even gotten him taken away it would break her heart! When he is dirty she sits at the washing machine and dryer until he is done. She has also been on toddler formula since she was 9 months old due to stomach sensitivities. She has a special cup it goes in and when she is tired or doesn't feel good it is a comfort to her. She has always been a stay at home child, she doesn't like to spend the night at Grandmas very often when her older siblings go she always tell them she is going to stay home with Mommy and Daddy. She is very independent though and has to know what is going on every where and even though her siblings are 7 & 8 she is in charge. She doesn't sit still for very long and has to do everything Daddy does! Recently she has changed though, she is very clingy, clingy to the point of she constantly wants one of us to hold her, rock her, lay with her, or she has to sit in our lap. By constantly I mean every minute that we are with her. She has never been this way since she was born. If we aren't right there with her it is heartbreaking. You would think that someone abandoned her. I put her in a new daycare in Febuary. We both work full time. Now on to what I need help with.

Today she came home with a huge bruise in her cheek. It is black, blue and pink. She said she got it on the slide. When I asked my husband if he received and incident report he said he hadn't but he text the owner and she said she forgot to have him sign it. My husband had to mow someones lawn after work and she cried for about 20 minutes after he left because she couldn't go and she spent the rest of the evening in my lap. When he got home she sat with him on the couch and I went in our room and sat in the bed while I printed coupons to go to the store when she fell asleep. She came in not long after and we were playing with her bear and she was hiding under the blanket and then should would hide me. All of a sudden she started talking about "Grandaddy". Which is the daycare owners Dad that comes in and cooks the kids lunch. According to her this is all he does. She said that he had toys, so I asked what kind and she thought and said just toys. I asked her again if she knew what kind and she said Zaines toys. This is her baby brother. I asked her if they were Zaines toys or they just looked like his toys. She didn't answer and was on to the next thing. She told me that he took her bear. So I asked her why? She didn't know but kept telling me he took her bear. I even asked where he took bear? She didn't know but she said that he was very mean to bear and that her and bear cried. Of course I was infuriated but I kept my cool and she continued. He took bear then he took my milk. Well I knew it had to be nap time, so I asked her I she was taking a nap when he took it. She said she was in her bed (nap mat) and he got in her bed and took her bear and milk and she wasn't asleep. I asked her where all the other kids were, I was hoping she would tell me where her teacher was. She just looked at me with a really weird look like she didn't know the answer. They should have been all around her it's the only full class there. I didn't ask anymore questions I just let her talk to see what I could make sense of. She went on about him being mean. Finally I could tell she wanted me to respond so I asked her why he was mean. She told me he took her panties, so I'm trying not to just go over the edge and yell at my husband to get off of the couch hunt this man down and figure out what the hell is going on, so I asked her if he had put a diaper on her. She halfway nodded her head yes but stopped and went on about him being mean and needing a time out. She started rolling around in the blanket laughing again so I went back to printing my coupons. All of a sudden she got really quite looked me dead in my eyes and said Granddaddy says he is going to hit Momma. She has never said anything like that and no one in our house threatens like that. They fight but they never tell who they are going to hit. She repeated it in the same tone with the same expression once more before I could ask her why he said that, she just said it once more but this time it was hurt instead of hit. After that she grabbed her milk and her bear snuggled up on Daddy's pillow and was sound asleep in 5 minutes. I still had the shocked expression on my face when my husband came in to check on her. I am not sure what to think. I also want to let you know another thing that caught my attention before this happened. Her sister had convinced her to play cards in her room while I tried to feed the baby. She wasnt up there a few minutes and I heard her say she had to potty. I knew she would be down to get her sticker and the baby had just fallen asleep. I had started to get up when I heard a horrible scream and she came running down the stairs. I didn't even have time to finish getting up and she was at my side screaming that her bottom hurt. I put him in his bed and ran to get the cream and a diaper. I tried to look before i put the cream on but I couldn't see much she was screaming in painand wiggling and she had grabbed the cream herself and was trying to put it on. I plan to look first thing in the morning. She never wants a diaper. We have to make her wear one to bed. She hasn't been using the potty very long and still has some accidents at night. Even if we put one on while she is still up she takes it off and uses the potty. Tonight she never did, I asked her if she needed go before I went to my room and she shook her head no.

Should I freak out? Should I stop over reacting? Could this be a phase? Why would she randomly say something like that about him hitting me? I really want to go up there before she does in the morning and demand answers but I doubt I would get the truth and I probably would never make it to work! Can someone give me their perspective?
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by on May. 2, 2012 at 2:01 AM
Replies (111-120):
by on May. 2, 2012 at 4:43 PM
I couldn't imagine what you must be feeling, I really can't. This it's my biggest, I'm sure you feel the same. I hope you get to the bottom of this. I am so sorry your family has to go through this.
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by on May. 2, 2012 at 4:45 PM
1 mom liked this

 With a 2yr old it is VERY hard to tell what they are trying to tell us, and how they see things. Some times they see only part of something and fill in the blanks with whatever. My oldest when he was 2 had a VERY VERY active imagination. With that said, she's your daughter, you know her like no one else does! You know how she is when it comes to certain situations.

If there is ANY concern in your mind that something bad could have happened,  I would take her to the Dr. first thing in the morning and have her checked to see if there is any sign of anything that may have happened. Even if nothing did, the bruise needs to be looked at. The Dr. may be able to tell if it was from a hand or if it looks like she was purposely hurt. (and i say that cause one of my friends was actually accused of hitting his daughter with a belt and the Dr. ruled out that it was NOT a belt mark) Have your husband or someone else go with you to the Dr. and privately talk to the Dr. about your suspicions so that the Dr. can ask your daughter the RIGHT questions. The last thing you want is if something did happen and you went after them, for them to say that you questioned her and put things in her head. This way you have the Dr. doing the question asking and the daycare cant fight that. (also I say that cause I had a nasty custody case with my ex and he abused my kids, the lawyer told me to let the Dr. and therapist ask the questions so that I couldn't be accused of anything) Some Dr.'s offices have counsels on hand and if yours does, ask to have them speak with your daughter, they know how to figure things out just by children's body language! Then go from there after your daughter has been seen, but I would not let her go back to daycare to you can make heads or tales of whats being said!!

If you cant take her to the Dr. tomorrow, my suggestion is to, when she does talk to you, just listen, dont ask questions, but listen. Write down anything she says that bothers you or makes you question the daycare. Give that to the Dr. so that they know where to go while questioning her. I know that it's hard to not say or ask what you want to but I've been there like I said.

I just want you to cover all the things that I know will happen since I've been there, in case something really happened. I want her rights to be fully protected by law, because in my case, some of the things were thrown out because I didn't know how to go about things. I don't know where you live or the state laws there, I just don't want to see anything bad happen to her!!

I wish you luck, and I pray that nothing happened to her!!

by Anonymous 13 on May. 2, 2012 at 4:47 PM
Praying that your baby is ok. I am sure you have had a long stressful day but I am glad you are getting her help!
by Ruby Member on May. 2, 2012 at 4:48 PM
Take her to the er ASAP. Don't take her to the daycare anymore. I'm sorry hun.
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by Anonymous 14 on May. 2, 2012 at 4:48 PM
When I was molested when I was little the thing I remember the most was the pain I has when going pee take her in NOW TO THE ER
by Anonymous 15 on May. 2, 2012 at 4:54 PM
I hope it isn't what we are all thinking. I'm hoping that the lack of answers means that the situation is being dealt with.

I know I would be in jail if someone laid a hand on my baby girl, and this that much more scared of daycares.

by Gold Member on May. 2, 2012 at 4:57 PM
:( bump for update
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by on May. 2, 2012 at 4:57 PM
by Gold Member on May. 2, 2012 at 4:59 PM
Bump for update
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by on May. 2, 2012 at 5:02 PM

If this was my kid, I'd be thinking "Granddady" had molested her.  I'd be asking the owner some very serious questions too.  And talking to other parents to see if their kiddo's behavior had changed at all recently.

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