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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Should I be freaking out or am I over reacting?

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I really need help with this, I can't sleep and my mind is going crazy! I want go give a little background first so everyone understands and can tell me if I am completely over reacting or if it's ok to be freaking out!
My daughter is a very spunky, outgoing, not afraid of anything, always laughing, Daddy's girl, spiderman loving two year old. Since the moment she could wrap her hand around "bear" she hasn't let him go. She has never even gotten him taken away it would break her heart! When he is dirty she sits at the washing machine and dryer until he is done. She has also been on toddler formula since she was 9 months old due to stomach sensitivities. She has a special cup it goes in and when she is tired or doesn't feel good it is a comfort to her. She has always been a stay at home child, she doesn't like to spend the night at Grandmas very often when her older siblings go she always tell them she is going to stay home with Mommy and Daddy. She is very independent though and has to know what is going on every where and even though her siblings are 7 & 8 she is in charge. She doesn't sit still for very long and has to do everything Daddy does! Recently she has changed though, she is very clingy, clingy to the point of she constantly wants one of us to hold her, rock her, lay with her, or she has to sit in our lap. By constantly I mean every minute that we are with her. She has never been this way since she was born. If we aren't right there with her it is heartbreaking. You would think that someone abandoned her. I put her in a new daycare in Febuary. We both work full time. Now on to what I need help with.

Today she came home with a huge bruise in her cheek. It is black, blue and pink. She said she got it on the slide. When I asked my husband if he received and incident report he said he hadn't but he text the owner and she said she forgot to have him sign it. My husband had to mow someones lawn after work and she cried for about 20 minutes after he left because she couldn't go and she spent the rest of the evening in my lap. When he got home she sat with him on the couch and I went in our room and sat in the bed while I printed coupons to go to the store when she fell asleep. She came in not long after and we were playing with her bear and she was hiding under the blanket and then should would hide me. All of a sudden she started talking about "Grandaddy". Which is the daycare owners Dad that comes in and cooks the kids lunch. According to her this is all he does. She said that he had toys, so I asked what kind and she thought and said just toys. I asked her again if she knew what kind and she said Zaines toys. This is her baby brother. I asked her if they were Zaines toys or they just looked like his toys. She didn't answer and was on to the next thing. She told me that he took her bear. So I asked her why? She didn't know but kept telling me he took her bear. I even asked where he took bear? She didn't know but she said that he was very mean to bear and that her and bear cried. Of course I was infuriated but I kept my cool and she continued. He took bear then he took my milk. Well I knew it had to be nap time, so I asked her I she was taking a nap when he took it. She said she was in her bed (nap mat) and he got in her bed and took her bear and milk and she wasn't asleep. I asked her where all the other kids were, I was hoping she would tell me where her teacher was. She just looked at me with a really weird look like she didn't know the answer. They should have been all around her it's the only full class there. I didn't ask anymore questions I just let her talk to see what I could make sense of. She went on about him being mean. Finally I could tell she wanted me to respond so I asked her why he was mean. She told me he took her panties, so I'm trying not to just go over the edge and yell at my husband to get off of the couch hunt this man down and figure out what the hell is going on, so I asked her if he had put a diaper on her. She halfway nodded her head yes but stopped and went on about him being mean and needing a time out. She started rolling around in the blanket laughing again so I went back to printing my coupons. All of a sudden she got really quite looked me dead in my eyes and said Granddaddy says he is going to hit Momma. She has never said anything like that and no one in our house threatens like that. They fight but they never tell who they are going to hit. She repeated it in the same tone with the same expression once more before I could ask her why he said that, she just said it once more but this time it was hurt instead of hit. After that she grabbed her milk and her bear snuggled up on Daddy's pillow and was sound asleep in 5 minutes. I still had the shocked expression on my face when my husband came in to check on her. I am not sure what to think. I also want to let you know another thing that caught my attention before this happened. Her sister had convinced her to play cards in her room while I tried to feed the baby. She wasnt up there a few minutes and I heard her say she had to potty. I knew she would be down to get her sticker and the baby had just fallen asleep. I had started to get up when I heard a horrible scream and she came running down the stairs. I didn't even have time to finish getting up and she was at my side screaming that her bottom hurt. I put him in his bed and ran to get the cream and a diaper. I tried to look before i put the cream on but I couldn't see much she was screaming in painand wiggling and she had grabbed the cream herself and was trying to put it on. I plan to look first thing in the morning. She never wants a diaper. We have to make her wear one to bed. She hasn't been using the potty very long and still has some accidents at night. Even if we put one on while she is still up she takes it off and uses the potty. Tonight she never did, I asked her if she needed go before I went to my room and she shook her head no.

Should I freak out? Should I stop over reacting? Could this be a phase? Why would she randomly say something like that about him hitting me? I really want to go up there before she does in the morning and demand answers but I doubt I would get the truth and I probably would never make it to work! Can someone give me their perspective?
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by on May. 2, 2012 at 2:01 AM
Replies (21-30):
barefootncrazy
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2012 at 2:27 AM
This! I'm so sorry your baby girl is going through this :(


Quoting Momof2Stepof3:

I'd be getting her in the car and to the ER right now to have her checked I do not want to say what I think is happening as you already know in your heart what your thinking.

Please take her to the ER NOW to have her checked. An find a new day STAT!!!!


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Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 2, 2012 at 2:29 AM

I'm only saying this because you're taking her to the Dr tomorrow. I'm so sorry I'm saying this ok? If you haven't already bathed her, don't bathe her until after the exam. I'm so sorry.

Quoting CKelley28:

That is my thought as well. I have a doctors appointment right down the road in the morning from hers so I think she is going with me. I just can't even handle the thought. I will go to jail for manslaughter, if my husband doesn't get to him first. We have already had some problems with the teacher in the baby room. She only has two babies but she can't seem to feed our son or even hold him to give him a bottle. She gives me crap because I buy him organic baby food and I want him fed certain things at certain times and not the same food all day! We have already started calling and going to other daycares. Our daughter has been on the waiting list for over a year at a daycare in town. It is the best daycare here and neverhas any spots until classes graduate! The director is supposed to let us know if they can get both of them in because she was already promised a spot when this class graduated! I may have to just work from home (boss permitting) until we can figure this out! Thank you to everyone though for reassuring me!


sissyboogs
by Platinum Member on May. 2, 2012 at 2:30 AM

If it were me and my child, I'd be freaking out. 

First thing--no more questions. 

Second--take her to the doctor first thing in the morning for an exam. 

Third--demand that they call in someone specifically trained to deal with this. Someone who knows how to ask questions to get answers from a child without being leading. 

Good luck. 

jkleinman
by Ruby Member on May. 2, 2012 at 2:36 AM


Quoting MumsTheWord571:

I'd be freaked & going down there for sure.
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mama232011
by Silver Member on May. 2, 2012 at 2:36 AM

dont ask her any more questions it will confuse her you need to take her to a thereapest or police oficer because if she tellis you what i think happened it could get thrown out ive been there... take her asap please

MountieMama
by Gold Member on May. 2, 2012 at 2:37 AM
Yes she may need a doctor but more importantly she needs to be speaking with a police officer or a child social worker who is trained in speaking to children. Doctors are not. From my experience something inappropriate has happened. Hopefully for your daughter's sake, not criminal.
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livmier
by Member on May. 2, 2012 at 2:50 AM

my advice is the same as everyone else, hopefully it turns out well and your daughter was not harmed..... hugs!

CKelley28
by on May. 2, 2012 at 2:54 AM
I completely understand and we didn't give her a bath. I knew better. Plus as much pain as she is in, I wouldn't do that, I can't see what's hurting. She has always dealt with acidic poop and when she said something I thought maybe some had no been cleaned well but she didn't poop and since she has started going in the potty we dont have the issue because it doesnt get on her skin like it did. When she had those rashes she usually immediately pointed to all the spots that hurt and showed us her bottom was red to make sure we fixed it. She wouldnt even let me glance. I did stop asking questions though. I knew that if I kept on that she may become confused. So I just let her talk and only responded when she wanted me too. I plan to ask no more questions that is over, I hope she doesn't talk about it until I can get her to the pediatrician. They actually have a social worker and psychologist in their office but I'm not sure when they are there. As for the cops, after I go to the doctor, I will be calling my Dad who is an investigator. I am going he doesn't decide to kill him but if I don't notify him first and it comes through the computer or radio I'll be in deep crap! I'll let you know what happens though! I hear her so I'm off to check on her, Daddy put her in her bed so I guess I may have to sleep with her or put her in mine! Thank you so much though for caring, I hope we figure this out asap and even if he hasn't done the unthinkable I really want know why in the world all those things happened and why he could say something like that.


Quoting Anonymous:

I'm only saying this because you're taking her to the Dr tomorrow. I'm so sorry I'm saying this ok? If you haven't already bathed her, don't bathe her until after the exam. I'm so sorry.


Quoting CKelley28:

That is my thought as well. I have a doctors appointment right down the road in the morning from hers so I think she is going with me. I just can't even handle the thought. I will go to jail for manslaughter, if my husband doesn't get to him first. We have already had some problems with the teacher in the baby room. She only has two babies but she can't seem to feed our son or even hold him to give him a bottle. She gives me crap because I buy him organic baby food and I want him fed certain things at certain times and not the same food all day! We have already started calling and going to other daycares. Our daughter has been on the waiting list for over a year at a daycare in town. It is the best daycare here and neverhas any spots until classes graduate! The director is supposed to let us know if they can get both of them in because she was already promised a spot when this class graduated! I may have to just work from home (boss permitting) until we can figure this out! Thank you to everyone though for reassuring me!



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Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 2, 2012 at 3:03 AM

make an appt first thing in the morning with her pedi...even if that means missing work.

pasteeater
by on May. 2, 2012 at 3:09 AM
I would take her to the doctors. I would also call the police if there is any sign of abuse. Don't take any chances. He could be doing it to a number of children and your daughter was the only one who stood up and said something. So sad.
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