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Before simply reading the first few lines and then jumping right into the conversation read what I have typed in red and underlined for a better understanding of the topic at hand.  It is all fine and dandy to jump to conclusions and go off the introduction to a thread but a deeper perspective goes a long way.


While I was sitting in the hospital yesterday waiting for DH to finish his radiation treatment, lab work and talking to his chemo doctor I did what I usually do, people watch. 

Now before I start I will say that I was wearing a pair of jeans, a black quarter sleeve top and a pair of Merril fast packing boots, nothing dressy or special, my normal every day wear.

As I was looking around I noticed how many people were dressed rather sloppily.  Men with ill fitting pants and shirts (yes I consider baggy pants and t shirt 2 sizes too big ill fitting and sloppy) and women in the equivolent of pajama pants and t-shirts. 

Of course I reminded myself that I was in a hospital where many people come because they are sick and not feeling their best and probably not up for dressing their best but it did make me wonder.  What ever happened to looking your best?  In my opinion the way you dress not only shows respect to those around you but also to yourself.  Now, I am not calling for the days when women wore only dresses and men walked around in tailored suits but I do wonder why it is so hard to put on well fitting, nice clothes such as a pair of clean jeans and a nice top. 

For reference, this IMO is sloppy

This is well dressed


Now of course I realize that tastes vary and not everyone will agree what is and is not fashionable so these pics are only examples.  But tell me why, why do some people insist on dressing decently when the leave their home?  No matter how tired I am I always ensure that my apperance is neat and clean and does DH. It shows that we respect ourselves and those around us. 



Edited to bold, highlight, italicize and underline that I realized I was in the hospital for those judging me because they didn't read the entire post.

Some will die in hot pursuit and fiery auto crashes. Some will die in hot pursuit while sifting through my ashes. Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain that is pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain. ~Butthole Surfers


by on May. 2, 2012 at 8:25 AM
Replies (221-230):
by on May. 2, 2012 at 11:11 AM

further discussion is pointless since you are incapable of admitting others can feel differently about this without being in denial. you are beating me out for having to be obsessively right with this

by on May. 2, 2012 at 11:11 AM

Actually it has been psychologically proven that everything from the color, texture, cut and shape of your clothing affects how you feel about yourself and the day.  So for you wearing a baggy t-shirt and baggy pants makes you feel comfortable, laid back and relaxed whereas for me it would make me feel tired, sloppy and depressed.  And it goes further since the way that you present yourself to people affects how they perceive you.  That is why we dress the way we do, to make a statement about ourselves.  Sometimes those perceptions can be skewed becuase people fail to realize that what is comfy and laid back to you looks slobbish to others.

Quoting couponluv72:

you have such excellent skills of mind reading and omnimpotency! of course no one could be other than what you believe the truth to be. listen if you need to gussy up to feel good about yourself. that is fine. but you will never convince me that it means i am denying not liking something in myself just because i feel different. i dont need to have credibility , who the fuck do i care about reading this giving a hoot about how i feel about jack. as long as i am true to myself that is ALL that matters. 

if you judge others for being sloppy in how they dress and preen over how well you have dressed yourself properly, that is vanity my dear. maybe you are not so secure with yourself as you think you are

Quoting jessi2girls:

Quoting couponluv72:

i am not out there to attract other people. i dress to please myself. i simply have no concern with what others think about my apparel choices. i am not really offended so much as astounded that someone thinks of these things in a hospital surrounded by the sick and their suffering family members. that is what makes it shallow to me. Funny, I specifically mentioned that this would be one exception... in my first response to this post.. and the OP wasn't using the hosiptal to judge, she mentioned that she realized in this case it was due to the situation, however seeing so many brought up the thought of people in day to day life. It amazes me that you are all focusing on the hospital, when it was only the trigger that brought up these thoughts of how people dress in their day to day lives.

what attracted me was his compassion, his wisdom , and his intellect. i guess i look at things deeper than surface level. No, you just won't admit it because you want to pretend you aren't as "shallow" as everyone else in the world. Obviously if you admitted otherwise it would destroy all credibility you are trying to have.

again. so what if someone judges me for dressing sloppy? i am not dressing to put on a show. i simply do not think the opinion of a complete stranger in walmart about how i am dressed impacts my life or well being. not everyone feels a need to primp and be vainIt's not about being vain, it's about having love and pride for your own self, and your own body.  But again, denial is a strong strong thing.

Quoting jessi2girls:

Obviously everyone has other worries in life..

But I acknowledge that I'm human, and I understand how my body works.. and functions.  This includes perception.

It's basic human nature dear, and therefore would make us all shallow.

We are all naturally attracted to others by appearance and smells.   Again, human nature. 

Now if it truly DID NOT bother you, as you claim, you wouldn't feel so offended and defensive about what I've said. You'd have moved on a while back... yet something is making you defensive enough to want to continue replying to this post.

BUT denial is a strong thing to over come.

Had this been a post about what attracted you first to you SO, or something similar, you'd all sit here, list things that attracted you to them first.. eyes, lips, smiles.. etc.

In case you haven't noticed as well.. all the posts about how this outfit looks or how do I look, how old do I look..

people obviously do care about themselves and about others and their opinions.

People obviously do judge based on appearances.  Every day.

Deny it all you'd like... comfort though, does NOT have to equate to sloppy.. that comes from a reflection from inside.

Quoting couponluv72:

OH NOS i have been declared a sloppy dresser. gasp my life is over. 

seriously? don't you have more important things to worry about than wether people meet your standards for proper apparel in public? just seems like one of the most shallow concerns i have ever seen posted about this long in this group

Quoting jessi2girls:

if you are walking around in men's t-shirts, or pj's, yes I think that's sloppy.

I feel sorry for you if that's the case, that you are deep in denial about it.

Quoting couponluv72:

i do not dress according to the standards of other people. I wear what I am comfortable in, if you find it sloppy that is on you. 

Quoting jessi2girls:

I'm not saying go out and buy all designer outfits! Nor is the OP.. by dressing nicely, she means appropriately.. something that's not to your knees, something that fits your figure nicely, something that looks decent, presentable.

Quoting couponluv72:

yes, if i were wearing the same thing dirty in and out day after day i would get depressed. however I have no issues with how i see myself, how i feel about myself just because i do not dress as nicely as someone else thinks i should.I like to be comfortable damn what anyone else says

Quoting jessi2girls:

Quoting couponluv72:

what people wear is not going to cause a global catastrophe. worry about yourself and your own family. 

It effects YOU more that you might want to acknowledge...

you'd be surprised how much your clothing effects you daily.






by on May. 2, 2012 at 11:12 AM
What a lazy wh***. Everyone knows you don't go for a blood draw without your hair coiffed and your trousers pressed.

I don't care if people don't bother to get done up when running errands or going to the doctor. What *i* can't stand is how people go casual to events that once required a certain level of dressiness. Jeans to the ballet, for instance.

Quoting bluespagan:

It started with me noticing how people were dressed.  And not everyone dressed like that was sick.  Hell I was sitting beside a woman who was there with her husband to get his blood drawn who looked like she had just gotten up, pulled her hair back in a pony tail and then left the house.  She wasn't ill.  And I see this all the time in the store and just out and about. 

Quoting couponluv72:

but the judgemental thinking stayed with you to post it here. it still started wtih you judging how sick people are dressing. ugh really?

Quoting bluespagan:

Oh wow,  ok so let me just point out one thing. 

from my OP

"Of course I reminded myself that I was in a hospital where many people come because they are sick and not feeling their best and probably not up for dressing their best but it did make me wonder."


So yes I reminded myself that I was in a hospital but I see this type of dress everywhere.  I see it in the store, on the streets, everywhere.  That is what I am talking about, not the sick people in the hospital.  So stop trying to make my post seem like I was judging the ill, I was not. 


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by Anonymous 27 on May. 2, 2012 at 11:15 AM
Yeah. She really, really, really needs to be right. She'll keep going unless you claim to see the error in your thinking, or just stop responding.

Quoting couponluv72:

further discussion is pointless since you are incapable of admitting others can feel differently about this without being in denial. you are beating me out for having to be obsessively right with this

by on May. 2, 2012 at 11:18 AM

My mom has NEVER cared what she wears. Sometimes her clothes have holes. Sometimes they don't match. She's even rocked (wait for it....) *GASP* TIE DYED outfits and socks to match!!! Her hair is always all over the's kind of wirery and straw like. SHe doesn't dye it, or wear make up. And sometimes doesnt wear a bra. But do you know what??

She DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT ANYONE THINKS. Because no matter what she wears...her CLOTHES SHOULDN'T DEFINE HER as a person.

She is still the most friendly, down to earth, giving, animal loving, INTELLIGENT, open minded and honest person I have EVER had the pleasure of knowing in my life.

SO, fuck what you, or any other small minded individual thinks about how clothes make the person. SURE, if you're going for that top knotch office job or executive position, dress nice.

But day to day life? What someone wishes to wear is their OWN personal decision. 


by on May. 2, 2012 at 11:19 AM

For myself, I have to say having a chronic illness, i tend to dress in clothes that aren't going to cause further pain. Jeans hurt, anything with buttons is almost impossible for me to put on. My skin hurts a lot so I have to be very careful what I wear and I realize that I look like a slob but it is what it is. Just my perspective. 

by on May. 2, 2012 at 11:20 AM
My husband is a forklifter. He dresses for his job, not sloppy but proper for his job.

I would like to dress more nicely and I am aware of moms that also have 3 kids under the age of 8 and dress proper. But I can't seem to motivate myself to do so. I wear skinny jeans and a sweater everyday. Things I don't mind getting ruined.

That's just me. I do intend on dressing more "presentable" once all kids are in school full day.
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by Anonymous 28 on May. 2, 2012 at 11:23 AM
I automatically assume if you have a low standard of dress you also have a low standard of personal hygiene. If you couldn't at least take the pajama pants off, wash your hair and put a bra on, I also assume you haven't showered or brushed your teeth. To me you are dirty and I will go to great lengths to avoid you. You are in fact scum, because only scum would leave their house without minding their own hygiene. The same goes for ripped, stained clothing.
by Anonymous 29 on May. 2, 2012 at 11:23 AM

Wow...People don't read, do they? I would never wear pajamas or sloppy clothes in public, unless I were really sick or something like that. I have worn pajamas when I was going somehwhere but staying in the car and my DH was the only one getting out, but that's it. 

by on May. 2, 2012 at 11:23 AM
1 mom liked this

I dress up to go out all the time! Hell, even if I'm not going anywhere, I still put on a nice outfit but I am a fashion lover, so maybe that explains it lol.

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