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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

my 4 year old ds told me my ex showed him his penis. updated

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
this was a month and a half ago my ds was using the bathroom and just told me this pretty detailed story. apparently i was in the shower when it all happened.

my ex was abused as a child and teen from what he told me. i have hated him a lot over the last two years and have tried to forget him. he lied to me multiple times and choked me out, got me pregnant 2x, then i found out his real last name and that he was married (separated) and had 2 kids he never/could not see right before we finally split.

i never thought he'd do something like that purposly. my son had seen him pee a fewtimes when he left the door open and had only been in the shower, with me standing there, with him once, because my ds puked on them both after a big breakfast.

this is especially hard because i had had feelings and unresolved things with my ex before and the two pregnancies were aborted very early... my head was way fucked up by him. i have mdd and went into a month long depression once where i only got out of bed once a day to go to the bathroom and showered every 3 days if that and never ate.. just cried. my son never acted like he was scared of him, only 2x i ever saw anything. and even then it wasn't teally bad. b.c he was actually good with my ds and ds liked him a lot. none of this is making any sense to me.

i wanted to beat the living shit outta my ex the day after my son told me and had friends talk me outta it. i let it go b.c i was waiting on the police. my ds seems fine and i didnt want to make it worse. he wasn't distraught over it even when he told me. but ihad to make the report. yesterday i took a copy of the report to the police station in the city this occured. i have been sad and anxious and depressed all day, night, and today over this. i drove by the last place i know he lived 3x. i want answers and i dont think i'll ever get them. i am so confused because i want to confront him, yell, bash his face in, and all normal mother instincts. everyone says not to do anything. i know the police wont have much to go on and the case will get dropped.

i feel like this is my fault. i don't know what to do. what do i do? i left my son with my mom b.c i was about to fall apart even now i'm getting teary and i can feel my stress building. it's a lot easier for people to tell you not to do something when it isn't their child. i want to vomit and scream and cry and beat the shit outta him for EVERY fucking thing he has done. i am about to explode.

*update*
the dective agreed with ME. we are going to specialists. i didn't feel the need to explain word for word what my child said. the man was not his father and what he did makes him a piece of shit. some of you are right and maybe nothing will happen, but at least i'll find out the truth. also for those of you not understanding if it was in the bathroom or shower, it was neither, it was in the livingroom! no i don't care about punctuation or grammer or spelling. you're all smart enough to understand what is being said.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 2, 2012 at 10:11 AM
Replies (121-129):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 2, 2012 at 5:18 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

lmao thank you! still that last sentence reads funny as were all confused women...should be we're or woman... either way your corrections were awesome!


Quoting furbabymum:

 Pot meet kettle.


Quoting Anonymous:


 


Quoting Anonymous:

my boyfriend wasn't his father. so he told me he was watching cartoons and my ex pulled his penis out in his face. it isn't hard to understand. i explained he had seen him in the bathroom and shower, but this incident was COMPLETELY non related to that.

do your s/o's and dh's whip their cocks out in front of your kids' faces for the hell of it??? hope not cause that's why i made the report and that's the issue.

...and no i actually didn't have a say in getting pregnant. i didn't want to. the situation was fucked up. don't try to compare a good relationship to a bad one. won't work. many aspects i don't want to think about or try to remember. but food for thought: i have a permanantly damaged nipple from pulling away from him b.c he wanted sex and i wanted to get a condom. sound like i wanted that???? no, damn near took it off. so please don't bash or give scarcastic responses, i will rip them apart. this is hard enough.

Actually, it is hard to understand when you didnt type cohearent senteences or use correct punctuation. Your first few pages of responces were all confused women.


 Actually, it is hard to understand when you didn’t type coherent sentences or use correct punctuation. Your first few pages of responses were all confused women.


Anonymous grammar corrector was right. Anonymous OP still wrong when trying to proof read. Why don't you just focus on getting your shit together?

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 2, 2012 at 5:21 PM

I think you should be on Maury or Springer....not CM.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 2, 2012 at 5:23 PM

What four year old says "Mom, when I was two........."

ArmyWife0105
by on May. 2, 2012 at 5:28 PM


Quoting usmc.momma:

I think YOU need help lady. Youre trusting the memory of a then 2 year old? He doesn't sound traumatized. I think you are looking for a way to get back at him for making your life hell.


Proud army wife, mommy of two beautiful girls, and expecting a handsome little man!
pregnancy
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 2, 2012 at 6:21 PM

Actually you're wrong; when she said "Your first few pages of responces were all confused women." the mistake was the spelling of responses not the last four words. She's referencing the women on the first few pages (simple to understand but somehow you thought she was talking about you when she was obviously talking about the first few pages of responses [it's right there in the sentence] of this post that has many women confused as to why you called the cops and they were only confused because you failed to explain what was said by your son, just that he saw this man's penis and he's seen the man's penis many times but what he said happened was bad and you called the cops, that's all the info given, then you expect people to read through all the responses to see that you finally explained it but in an unnecessary bitchy way.

As someone who was raped by the same person from ages 5-11, then finally telling someone at age 12, I can tell you that there's a big chance even if your ex did do this nothing is going to happen, it's hear-say, I was checked by my doc, went to the mental health clinic only to be told that I was making up stories because I didn't like moving in with my moms bfs and even though I had my "cherry popped" there was no evidence to prove that this particular person had done anything criminal with me. Your child waited to long to talk if this did happen with this man but I would be checking about the other men, you were with the ex for so long and hated your life with him so I'm guessing fighting was going on along with the rapping that got you pregnant twice that's probably the name he remembers best so when he associates mommies men friends he's going to think of the one whose name her heard the most. It's not like a small child to come out of the blue with information like this and I have doubts that he said it happened when he was 2, probably just when he mention that guy (or probably said the number two) you somehow put it in his mouth two or the guys name by accident (all by accident I don't believe you did it intentionally but sometimes when we mothers are trying to find out info from our small children we can unnoticeably let something slip and then when they repeat it we believe they thought it up).

Don't let him know that what happened was bad because if it did happen when he was two and he's just now saying something about it, he probably just thinks it's a funny memory and not something that would have upset you. If you're not getting anywhere try getting him to talk about it on tape (don't let him know about the camera or recorder though, little ones are unpredictable and you wouldn't want him to get distracted by it), don't make it like a hostage situation just bring it up casually, don't get mad if he doesn't want to talk and don't try to push him this may help you learn if it really happened and he didn't just see/hear/have it happen by someone else, and maybe be playing something with him. I hope you can get everything worked out and that you and your son don't have to relive these events for long.

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry i am on my phone kind, of hard to go over all my responses after i have typed them. i think everyone who has responded positively understood just what i was saying or trying to say. if it is that bad that you cannot understand it, then kindly move along to the next post momma. oh and punctuation is the LAST thing on my mind. this is not school.

....and if I really were so atrocious with punctuation i would have not been on the dean's list in college. i will be sure to make things easier on you and punctuate appropriately. :)

by the way your last sentence should be "were all confused WOMAN." just a little fyi, because it didn't make sense to me. women is plural and woman is singular. make sense your self. there is only one of me. mkay!



Quoting Anonymous:

Actually, it is hard to understand when you didnt type cohearent senteences or use correct punctuation. Your first few pages of responces were all confused women.




AdellesMom
by on May. 2, 2012 at 6:24 PM
My kids have seen the both of us naked. I'm confused.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 2, 2012 at 6:36 PM
Ok the other week my 4 yr old told my parents that she saw a pic of me on her computer, sitting on my bed, kissing a man. Her computer is a toy. And this has NEVER happened. I have never had my bf in my bedroom and the only time she sees us kiss is hello when he comes here and good bye when he leaves. We chalked it up to imagination. She has a very vivid imagination and can tell awesome stories. I also assume that maybe one of my teens (16, 18) were watching something on tv that gave her the idea. Just be careful before going off all crazy without all the information you need.
etsmom
by Ruby Member on May. 2, 2012 at 6:38 PM

Whoa whoa whoa whoa!  Calm down!  What some people are trying to get here is that in your original post, your thoughts are jumbled and incomplete. You are missing information from your story that you have started to add in in replies and so the story is confusing.  Also, a 4 year old does not have a great memory. Trying to compare and adult's memory capacity to a child is like comparing an apple to a pickle. They are vastly different. His developing mind is only capable of remember up to 3 things at a time. Try it out. Ask him to pick up his shoes, put them in the closet, find his favorite ball and throw it across the room. He will forget one of the things you told him every time. This is just an example.

If your son was exposed to by your ex in a lewd manner, I hope that your ex is punished by the law, do not beat yourself up because of HIS actions. Whatever your reasons are that have caused you to have hostility, make sure that it isn't your own personal anger towards him and not his own actions that have led to the police being called.  Best of luck in what may come from this. I am sorry that your family is going through all of this.

Quoting Anonymous:

if he just turned 4 that isn't that long ago. can you remember things from a year and a half ago???? i'm sure you can.

i'm not saying it did happen. i want answers. i have none. yes he came out of the blue and told me my ex pulled it out in front of his face and wiggled it around. he said it looked big like a goose egg. then he said he did the same thing b.c it annoyed him and he wanted to annoy him back.

how and why would i make this up for you fuck-tard bashers. and why would my son make it up and tell me this elaborate tale when i have an s/o who treats him like his own??? think about it.

i didn't tell my mother i was molested at 13 until i was 19. simply b.c of who the person was.


Quoting arpazia:

I'm not saying it didn't happen, but I had no idea kids could remember stuff from 2!



Speak Softly and Sweetly; Later You May Have To Eat Your Own Words
furbabymum
by Platinum Member on May. 2, 2012 at 6:39 PM

 A comma would make all the difference there. Seen in red.

Quoting Anonymous:

lmao thank you! still that last sentence reads funny as were all confused women...should be we're or woman... either way your corrections were awesome!


Quoting furbabymum:

 Pot meet kettle.


Quoting Anonymous:


 


Quoting Anonymous:

my boyfriend wasn't his father. so he told me he was watching cartoons and my ex pulled his penis out in his face. it isn't hard to understand. i explained he had seen him in the bathroom and shower, but this incident was COMPLETELY non related to that.

do your s/o's and dh's whip their cocks out in front of your kids' faces for the hell of it??? hope not cause that's why i made the report and that's the issue.

...and no i actually didn't have a say in getting pregnant. i didn't want to. the situation was fucked up. don't try to compare a good relationship to a bad one. won't work. many aspects i don't want to think about or try to remember. but food for thought: i have a permanantly damaged nipple from pulling away from him b.c he wanted sex and i wanted to get a condom. sound like i wanted that???? no, damn near took it off. so please don't bash or give scarcastic responses, i will rip them apart. this is hard enough.

Actually, it is hard to understand when you didnt type cohearent senteences or use correct punctuation. Your first few pages of responces were all confused women.


 Actually, it is hard to understand when you didn’t type coherent sentences or use correct punctuation. Your first few pages of responses were all confused, women.


 

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