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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Blighted Ovum **UPDATE**

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I'm posting this anon because I am so goddamned embarrassed. I went to the doctor yesterday and the doctor said I have what's called a blighted ovum. Of course, she doesn't want to "give up hope" so I am being forced to go through another quantitative Hcg test tomorrow and another ultrasound on Friday. I am so angry at myself, I want to scream and shout and cry and bury myself in a hole and never come out. I feel like I've failed my husband and my family. I don't want another ultrasound, I don't want to see what could have been again! My poor mother has decided to hold out hope, but all I want to do is put this behind me and pretend it never happened. I don't even know if I want to try again after this. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me! No one in my family has trouble with children. They all call pop out three or four and they are all beautiful and healthy, I'm the only loser who can't even do the one thing that makes you a woman. I';m sorry, I have to stop, I can't even see for crying now. I just needed to tell someone how I feel.

**UPDATE**

I am getting my D&C tomorrow. I don't know quite how to express how I'm feeling right now. I lost hope on Tuesday so it's not like this was a surprise, I think I'm more mad that they gave me false hope only to rip it away from me. The midwife I spoke to on Tuesday was nice and she tried to let me down as easily as possible, but the doctor I spoke to today was nothing but a pompas dick and he didn't even bother to give me his full attention while telling me he is going to have to rip my dreams of having a child out of me. Sorry, that was kind of vulgar, but I'm still seething.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 2, 2012 at 5:41 PM
Replies (11-19):
nautired
by Bronze Member on May. 2, 2012 at 9:31 PM
1 mom liked this
I had this happen after 3 perfectly healthy kids. I say that just to let you know it can happen to anyone you didn't do anything wrong. I am pregnant now and so far even though I'm a nervous wreck the baby is fine. I just wanted you to know there is still hope two times doesn't mean something is wrong with you necessarily.
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amomnedtrish
by on May. 13, 2012 at 9:19 PM
Ive lost 4 pregnancy. You shouldn't feel embarrassed or feel as though you are a loser? Would you think that of someone else who has lost a pregnancy? I understand your pain and anger. But this too shall pass. I know because I found out about my fourth loss this last Thursday... We need to be a strong.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 13, 2012 at 9:25 PM
I had two before I had ds and then another two after him. I am pregnant now with my dd there is hope :)
casedellic.
by on May. 13, 2012 at 9:29 PM

 I had this happen with my second pregnancy, and honestly I prefer knowing there was never a baby compared to the miscarriage I had in November where I actually saw the heartbeat and know that my baby died.

It's still hard and I know how you feel, I felt douped, like i'm such an idiot to be walking around for weeks thinking I actually have a baby in me to find out there was nothing!

hip2it
by Silver Member on May. 13, 2012 at 9:31 PM
I'm sorry. I went through this in 2004 the day before my husband deployed for ten months.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Freela
by Platinum Member on May. 13, 2012 at 9:33 PM

((HUGS))- I'm really sorry you are going through this.  This happened to me with my first pregnancy- I went for a routine u/s at 9.5 weeks only to find a sac measuring about 6 weeks, no h/b and no fetal pole.  I was told it was either a blighted ovum or a pregnancy that had failed very early and had been reabsorbed.  I ended up not having a d&c but miscarried naturally at home at what would have been 11 weeks of pregnancy.  The doctor who I saw in the ER was also a major jerk, and I wish they would think and be kind on what may well be the worst day of a woman's life!

I do want to say that there is nothing to be embarassed about... you are definitely not alone.  Sadly, early m/c is really common.  It's awful to go through, but you have a lot of company.  The silver lining of my m/c was the people I met who had been there too.  Look for a group for pregnancy loss,either online or in real life.  It does help a lot.  There is nothing wrong with you- many, MANY women go through this.  My OB/GYN always told that me that as many as 1 in 5 confirmed pregnancies end in m/c and that doesn't even take into account pregnancies that fail before they are confirmed by a doctor.  The vast, vast majority of those are random genetic anomalies- basically, bad luck.  If it's any consolation, I went through what you are going through with my first pregnancy and then went on to have three normal, healthy babies in a row.

((HUGS)) and I'm so sorry... I know how much it hurts.

Northcuttswifey
by Silver Member on May. 13, 2012 at 9:38 PM
I went thrum this just a month ago. We went in for our ultrasound and we were so excited.... I was technically 10 weeks along..... I lay down and get ready and first thing I see on the screen is no baby. I ask the lady "there's no baby is there." She tells me no and it was heartbreaking. I go back and talk to my ob/gyn and she tells me its a blighted ovum. Then explains what that is to my husband and I. I'm so sorry.
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opal10161973
by on May. 13, 2012 at 9:39 PM
Well, let's see. I have been pregnant seven times. First three were miscarriages, fourth was a live birth, fifth was a misscarriage, and the last two were live births. It's likely I may have had other very early miscarriages as well, but not certain. It's surprising what the human body CAN do. Just allow it the chance. I'm sorry you have had a loss this time, but this doesn't have to mean the end for you. The last two, I didn't even hope until they were more than half way. I had complications and they were both C Sections. I had slight high blood pressure with one and GD with the other. Nothing in life is ever perfect. Don't expect yourself to be. I know how frustrating and sad it can be. I'm sorry for your loss.
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JustCJ
by ~yeerp~ on May. 13, 2012 at 9:41 PM
Hugs I'm so sorry. :(
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