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I Think StepMoms Who Hate on BioMoms Are

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Insecure about their relationships with their husbands. They try to make the ex look like a psycho bitch cuz that pleases their husbands, without thinking that if your husband talks about his ex like that, chances are he speaks of you the same way. 

I also think trying to turn the kids against their parents is pretty f'ing low. If mom/dad is a lowlife, letting them know makes the child feel like they are the same peice of trash.

Kids should never know of the conflicts between parents, nor should they be used as pawns. Doing so damages them, so much!

If step parents were truly out for the best interest of the children (which they should be, being that they entered into a relationship with a person who already had kids), they would not let petty things like haircuts, pickup times, and child support be determining factors in their relationships with their SK's.

I have been on both ends, and know damn well all the shizznit I said about BM was out of anger.



Edit: 

I do realize that BM's often hate on the SM. But, they are hurt and/or angry. They are not insecure, b/c there is nothing to be insecure about. They no longer have an intimate relationship with BD. The SM's I am referring to are the ones who go out of their way to make every single mistake BM makes out to be horrible parenting. The ones who complain about arrears being spent on BM, without thinking that BM already spent her own money to supplement BD's when he wasn't paying. There are good SM's out there. However, if you badmouth your SO's ex for everything, chances are, you are not. 




Edit No 2: Since so many people seem to have missed the point, here. I do not justify BM's being rude and mean to SM's. But, when BM got pregnant, she most likely did not know she would later have to deal with another woman in BD's life. It was just a card that fate dealt her. She got the short end, KWIM? SM, on the other hand, knew exactly what she was getting into when she started dating a man with children. She can't undo the kids or the fact that her SO's ex will always have a relationship with "her man." Which is when most resort to the insults and badmouthing.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 3, 2012 at 1:09 AM
Replies (61-70):
LiliM
by Platinum Member on May. 3, 2012 at 2:26 AM
2 moms liked this
Quoting Anonymous:
Your insecurity betrays you ;)
Quoting LiliM:

rolling on floor

When I lie about birth control, "accidentally" get pregnant, tell my family the truth about getting pregnant on purpose, all because I don't want my boyfriend to break up with me, drag my kids through hell so they hate their dad  - you are right.  I will find myself in the same place as BM.

But since DH wanted to marry me, we decided to have kids together, and we are friends, as well as partners, we value our marriage, and I am not cheating on him setting up his replacement, I am not worried.

I won't regret a thing.  I have been nicer to BM than she deserved.  And even if DH did do some kind of crazytown leap into madness, he would be good to his kids, and fair to me.  Just like he was with her crazy ass.  Since I have no issues with following rules, and allowing my kids to have their dad, I wouldn't have any worries.

But thank you for your concern.


If you say so.

It's funny, the ex wife thinks the same thing.  I am just stupid, and haven't been done wrong by him yet.  But I will be, because the failed marriage was ALL his fault.  The ex wife - she was blameless as could be. No woman will EVER be happy with him, because he's a whatever it is she is calling him at the time.

LOL.  Her multiple divorces suggest otherwise, but she is welcome to her opinion, as are you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 3, 2012 at 2:29 AM

I live in Kansas. What part are you in?

Quoting Anonymous:

I've had a few on here tell me that she's not my daughter.   I didn't give birth to her, but I'm the only mother she's ever known from the time she was one until now, she is almost four.   I don't consider her my step-daughter, she is my daughter.   She has taken this change in stride, she has two mommy's and thinks it's cool.  I'm not the "fun" mommy as she put it, I'm the mommy who cooks dinner and buys her birthday presents.  LoL. 

We moved out to KS near her because there are jobs, not because she is here.  That was just a "side effect".   She's always jetting off to TX at the drop of a hat, she has a kid down there with her father too.  Just signed away custody of both to their respective fathers. 

I don't think BM is really doing anything super harmful, just that she's young and selfish.  I try to be polite and let her have her time, much of which she never uses.  They'll go to the zoo or go to the movies or something.  We don't get to do that stuff often.   I will say that she is fair ..... ?   Maybe not quite what I'm looking for.  When they are going to the zoo, bday party, or movies she always invites my daughter (one year older than my step-daughter) along. 

I don't mind her being a part of my daughter's life, I just wish she was more consistent and didn't only ask to see her when she has plans with her friends.  A child can never have to many people to love them .

Quoting Lachrymose:

Sounds familiar.. except she hasn't seen or talked to her daughter (no cards, gifts, nothing.. never has once called) except once in over 8 years.. and she's lived no more than 40 minutes away (and for a while it was not even 15 minutes away) her entire life... oh, the stories I could tell...

(I hope your daughter adjusts okay BTW.. we have been *somewhat* lucky that BM just finally stopped all contact.. because when she was around, it was just so messed up.. SD used to vomit all the time for no physically medical reason whenever she got overly emotional.. happy or sad or anything.. it finally stopped about a year after her mom stopped coming around..)  :(

I don't understand why people overgeneralize so much on CM.. lol.. or do they just forget to put in the word "most" or "some" before they go off?  ^.^

Quoting Anonymous:

Hm. Or maybe bio mom IS a peice of shit and ditched on her kid and now only wants anything to do with her so that she can show off all the hard work teaching the child and taking care of her and raising her right the SM did.

True story.  BM only shows up when she wants to pretend to be a good mommy and show my 3 year old off to her friends.

So about once a month, up until December it had been 3 years since she'd seen my daughter.

Just saying there are other possibilites and you shouldn't lump everyone into one.




AdellesMom
by on May. 3, 2012 at 2:35 AM
1 mom liked this
Sorry to disappoint you, but my cousin's don't live in the backwoods, they aren't toothless, and their experiences give merit to my statements. I said that "many bio-moms are psycho bitches." In other words, there are some psycho BMs. I'm sorry that you live underneath a rock and you can't see that.

FYI: Both cousins are probably more successful than you'll ever be.

ETA: I didn't even give you a quarter of their stories. lmfao
Quoting Anonymous:

A couple of backwood's cousins with psycho, quite possibly, toothless, ex wives, does not give merit to your ludicrous accusations. 

Quoting AdellesMom:

LMFAO!



No. There really are some psycho BMs out there. I have two cousins that are divorced (their ex-wives filed for no reason) and their ex wives are whackadoodles!! My one cousin's--let's call him cousin M--ex is nuts. She had her new DH beat up cousin M's SD because cousin M filed for sole custody. Eventually, cousin M let the custody thing go because of te strain it caused on his marriage to his new wife. His ex wanted that strain because she didn't want him to be happy. She didn't want him. But, she didn't want anyone else to have him. One of the real kickers is that cousin M's ex copied his wedding! Everything from the colors, to the venue, were the exact same.



Now, let's talk about my other cousin. We'll call him cousin G. Cousin G's ex wife is NUTS! She filed for divorce for NO REASON. It was ordered that cousin G pay his ex a lump sum of $65,000 for alimony. Cousin G payed the money. However, his ex blew through it in six months. She also lost custody of both of her children--one from a previous relationship and one she had with her ex DH. Cousin G got custody of both kids and moved away. Cousin G still hasn't received a dime of child support. Cousin G got engaged last year. He and his fiancé and an engagement party. His ex got mad and DEMANDED that her son spend the weekend with her instead of going to his Father's engagement party. He gave in to that demand. He's getting married in the next couple of weeks. His ex has gone bonkers. She doesn't want her son at the wedding. She's mad because she has no control.



Both Cousin M and Cousin G provided great lives for their exes. There's a lot more to the craziness. But, I don't want to go into it ATM.






Quoting Anonymous:

LOL. Because their kids' dads are amazing men, right? Maybe if men were held more accountable for their hand in creating that psycho-bitch, their wives wouldn't be so naive and talk so much trash!

Quoting AdellesMom:

That made no sense. Many bio-moms are psycho bitches!



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AdellesMom
by on May. 3, 2012 at 2:40 AM
I feel bad that my SDs lost their mother. However, I'm glad that I won't have to put up with her BS. That bitch was all kinds of crazy.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on May. 3, 2012 at 2:41 AM

Near Cimmaron, Dodge City, Garden City.  What about you?

Quoting Anonymous:

I live in Kansas. What part are you in?

Quoting Anonymous:

I've had a few on here tell me that she's not my daughter.   I didn't give birth to her, but I'm the only mother she's ever known from the time she was one until now, she is almost four.   I don't consider her my step-daughter, she is my daughter.   She has taken this change in stride, she has two mommy's and thinks it's cool.  I'm not the "fun" mommy as she put it, I'm the mommy who cooks dinner and buys her birthday presents.  LoL. 

We moved out to KS near her because there are jobs, not because she is here.  That was just a "side effect".   She's always jetting off to TX at the drop of a hat, she has a kid down there with her father too.  Just signed away custody of both to their respective fathers. 

I don't think BM is really doing anything super harmful, just that she's young and selfish.  I try to be polite and let her have her time, much of which she never uses.  They'll go to the zoo or go to the movies or something.  We don't get to do that stuff often.   I will say that she is fair ..... ?   Maybe not quite what I'm looking for.  When they are going to the zoo, bday party, or movies she always invites my daughter (one year older than my step-daughter) along. 

I don't mind her being a part of my daughter's life, I just wish she was more consistent and didn't only ask to see her when she has plans with her friends.  A child can never have to many people to love them .

Quoting Lachrymose:

Sounds familiar.. except she hasn't seen or talked to her daughter (no cards, gifts, nothing.. never has once called) except once in over 8 years.. and she's lived no more than 40 minutes away (and for a while it was not even 15 minutes away) her entire life... oh, the stories I could tell...

(I hope your daughter adjusts okay BTW.. we have been *somewhat* lucky that BM just finally stopped all contact.. because when she was around, it was just so messed up.. SD used to vomit all the time for no physically medical reason whenever she got overly emotional.. happy or sad or anything.. it finally stopped about a year after her mom stopped coming around..)  :(

I don't understand why people overgeneralize so much on CM.. lol.. or do they just forget to put in the word "most" or "some" before they go off?  ^.^

Quoting Anonymous:

Hm. Or maybe bio mom IS a peice of shit and ditched on her kid and now only wants anything to do with her so that she can show off all the hard work teaching the child and taking care of her and raising her right the SM did.

True story.  BM only shows up when she wants to pretend to be a good mommy and show my 3 year old off to her friends.

So about once a month, up until December it had been 3 years since she'd seen my daughter.

Just saying there are other possibilites and you shouldn't lump everyone into one.





Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on May. 3, 2012 at 2:41 AM

BM called me a bitch when DH informed her that he had gotten married, she and I had never met before. Then she said ever so pointedly that she has my step child calling other men daddy anyways. Very mature of her and I've never even spoken one word to her to this day bcause of the tension and awkwardness. She's older than me too. When we met face to face the first time she looked me up and down crazily then stormed off leaving DH and I with my step child and his Grandpa in BM's parents' living room.

There's no reasoning with that especially since she has such hatred toward DH even though they were broken up for 2 years when we met and married.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 3, 2012 at 2:46 AM

Spell check is your friend. I would never be interested in knowing a quarter of their stories. Sorry, but I have my own life. And if you mean successful as in rich, I find there is so much more to be desired. I'm not envious.

I am glad to know you think anecdotes are "facts." BTW, many and some are NOT interchangeable.

Quoting AdellesMom:

Sorry to disappoint you, but my cousin's don't live in the backwoods, they aren't toothless, and their experiences give merit to my statements. I said that "many bio-moms are psycho bitches." In other words, there are some psycho BMs. I'm sorry that you live underneath a rock and you can't see that.

FYI: Both cousins are probably more successful than you'll ever be.

ETA: I didn't even give you a quarter of their stories. lmfao

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 3, 2012 at 2:47 AM

Wow. 

Quoting AdellesMom:

I feel bad that my SDs lost their mother. However, I'm glad that I won't have to put up with her BS. That bitch was all kinds of crazy.


couponluv72
by on May. 3, 2012 at 2:48 AM

i agree. my ex's wife has pure hatred for me , always had and writhing jealousy that my ex's first born was bornn to me not her. i agree that i think it is in part due to insecurity that she was not his first in all ways. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 3, 2012 at 2:48 AM

I was born and raised in Dodge! LOL I graduated from DCHS, as a matter of fact! 

Quoting Anonymous:

Near Cimmaron, Dodge City, Garden City.  What about you?


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