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I Think StepMoms Who Hate on BioMoms Are

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Insecure about their relationships with their husbands. They try to make the ex look like a psycho bitch cuz that pleases their husbands, without thinking that if your husband talks about his ex like that, chances are he speaks of you the same way. 

I also think trying to turn the kids against their parents is pretty f'ing low. If mom/dad is a lowlife, letting them know makes the child feel like they are the same peice of trash.

Kids should never know of the conflicts between parents, nor should they be used as pawns. Doing so damages them, so much!

If step parents were truly out for the best interest of the children (which they should be, being that they entered into a relationship with a person who already had kids), they would not let petty things like haircuts, pickup times, and child support be determining factors in their relationships with their SK's.

I have been on both ends, and know damn well all the shizznit I said about BM was out of anger.



Edit: 

I do realize that BM's often hate on the SM. But, they are hurt and/or angry. They are not insecure, b/c there is nothing to be insecure about. They no longer have an intimate relationship with BD. The SM's I am referring to are the ones who go out of their way to make every single mistake BM makes out to be horrible parenting. The ones who complain about arrears being spent on BM, without thinking that BM already spent her own money to supplement BD's when he wasn't paying. There are good SM's out there. However, if you badmouth your SO's ex for everything, chances are, you are not. 




Edit No 2: Since so many people seem to have missed the point, here. I do not justify BM's being rude and mean to SM's. But, when BM got pregnant, she most likely did not know she would later have to deal with another woman in BD's life. It was just a card that fate dealt her. She got the short end, KWIM? SM, on the other hand, knew exactly what she was getting into when she started dating a man with children. She can't undo the kids or the fact that her SO's ex will always have a relationship with "her man." Which is when most resort to the insults and badmouthing.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 3, 2012 at 1:09 AM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 3, 2012 at 1:21 AM

Maybe because your husband did not treat her the way he should have, and she is angry that a woman other than the mother of his kids is given that place? It's not right, but I see why one would be angry. I don't consider that enough to label a person crazy. But I guess the first part of your reply explains my post.

Quoting Chatema:

 Glad I'm not one of those sm. But I don't have to make the ex look like a psycho. She does that on her own. Should have seen the look on her face when we told her we were married. She was pissed. And the only thing is that I do not understand why?


Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 3, 2012 at 1:23 AM

lol if you knew half the crap she's pulled you'd be less then adult as well.

My favorite was being informed by my then 4 year old step son, that he didn't have to love me. I am going to hell and his love would be wasted.

GoneBad31
by on May. 3, 2012 at 1:24 AM

Eh...My stepkids' biomom ticks me off at times, but I try to ingore most of the stupidity for the kids.

Other than that, I can agree with you on most of what you said. I think a lot of stepmoms go overboard with the hating and flip out over a lot of stupid crap.

newmommy52012
by on May. 3, 2012 at 1:24 AM

WELL...I'm not a step mom yet BUT I never used to hate my BF ex wife, but she has ALWAYS hated me because I'm the "other women"  3 years & counting. I never hated her, never had a reason to, but then a few weeks back she texted my BF saying our soon to be son was a bastard child & all this crap that was VERY low & immature stuff. We were both livid, but fighting wont solve anything or make anything better.

I want to be nice because that's the adult thing to do, but I can't, so I just don't say anything.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 3, 2012 at 1:24 AM

I was. I got rid of the piece of trash and problem solved! We are butt buddies now! He's since moved onto another naive little thang.

Quoting Sunnysdmom:

So you are insecure?


LiliM
by on May. 3, 2012 at 1:25 AM
1 mom liked this

I am a SM.  I cannot stand the BM I deal with.

Nor should any sane person.

She is the only parent.  The dads, because there are multiple kids with multiple dads and multiple divorces in her life story - are not needed for anything other than a wallet.  They all fall for her bullshit of the meanie ex - and then she hatches a kid with them, and drops them, and bam!  They are now the big meanie with the new guy helping her beat down the latest old guy.

I would not respect, like, or associate with her if I knew of her through work, or socially.  She's a hateful person, and all the kids are screwed.

And in all fairness, when I met DH, I thought he was just being pissed at his ex.  I figured she really couldn't be that bad.

I was wrong.  She was worse. 

So DH and I have built up a wall against the crazy invading our home in search of money.  If that makes me the mean ol' SM, so be it.  The skid is one member of the family,  I am not utilizing all the family's material and emotional resources for one member.  The other members need to be considered also.

Although in one way, perhaps you are correct.  Perhaps it does have to do with my concern over my relationship with my DH.  Because I was not going to allow someone I didn't fuck, reproduce with, or even know, at that point, have a focal point in my marriage and home.  There are two people in this marriage and head of home, and she isn't one.

Contrary to her thought process, LOL.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 3, 2012 at 1:26 AM

Were you the "other womAn?" maybe there's something he's not telling you?

Quoting newmommy52012:

WELL...I'm not a step mom yet BUT I never used to hate my BF ex wife, but she has ALWAYS hated me because I'm the "other women"  3 years & counting. I never hated her, never had a reason to, but then a few weeks back she texted my BF saying our soon to be son was a bastard child & all this crap that was VERY low & immature stuff. We were both livid, but fighting wont solve anything or make anything better.

I want to be nice because that's the adult thing to do, but I can't, so I just don't say anything.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 3, 2012 at 1:29 AM
2 moms liked this
If it was arrears you guys were paying her back. She can spend that on whatever she wants!


Quoting BJAponte77:

 I guess it depends on the person.  I don't trash talk my s-kids bio mother but when it's called for I do.  I've talked about her 3x.  Once was when me and her got in a fight because she was yelling at my boyfriend and no one but me and his mama can do that.  The other time was when she got a big child support check from some arears we had to pay back and it was the months of birthdays.  One is the end of march one is beginning of april, she went a bought a tattoo with the money when it's CHILD support.  The last time was when she gave birth to her new baby and sent my step son to live with his grandma for the 1st week she was home and let the daughter stay home because he's hyper and she didn't want to deal with him, FYI he's great with babies and I trust him with my son a LOT.  So I don't talk trash because I hate her, to the contrary when she's normal I like her, I talk trash when she deserves it.


newmommy52012
by on May. 3, 2012 at 1:30 AM

What do you mean something he's not telling me?? He tells me everything & yes I was. They were going through a divorce 3 years ago & we dated while he was still married but going through a divorce, that made me the other womAn. yes,my bad, It's 12:30am, I'm extremly tired from lack of sleep & I still can't sleep. Sorry.

Quoting Anonymous:

Were you the "other womAn?" maybe there's something he's not telling you?

Quoting newmommy52012:

WELL...I'm not a step mom yet BUT I never used to hate my BF ex wife, but she has ALWAYS hated me because I'm the "other women"  3 years & counting. I never hated her, never had a reason to, but then a few weeks back she texted my BF saying our soon to be son was a bastard child & all this crap that was VERY low & immature stuff. We were both livid, but fighting wont solve anything or make anything better.

I want to be nice because that's the adult thing to do, but I can't, so I just don't say anything.



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AdellesMom
by on May. 3, 2012 at 1:30 AM
6 moms liked this
That made no sense. Many bio-moms are psycho bitches!
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