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I Think StepMoms Who Hate on BioMoms Are

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Insecure about their relationships with their husbands. They try to make the ex look like a psycho bitch cuz that pleases their husbands, without thinking that if your husband talks about his ex like that, chances are he speaks of you the same way. 

I also think trying to turn the kids against their parents is pretty f'ing low. If mom/dad is a lowlife, letting them know makes the child feel like they are the same peice of trash.

Kids should never know of the conflicts between parents, nor should they be used as pawns. Doing so damages them, so much!

If step parents were truly out for the best interest of the children (which they should be, being that they entered into a relationship with a person who already had kids), they would not let petty things like haircuts, pickup times, and child support be determining factors in their relationships with their SK's.

I have been on both ends, and know damn well all the shizznit I said about BM was out of anger.



Edit: 

I do realize that BM's often hate on the SM. But, they are hurt and/or angry. They are not insecure, b/c there is nothing to be insecure about. They no longer have an intimate relationship with BD. The SM's I am referring to are the ones who go out of their way to make every single mistake BM makes out to be horrible parenting. The ones who complain about arrears being spent on BM, without thinking that BM already spent her own money to supplement BD's when he wasn't paying. There are good SM's out there. However, if you badmouth your SO's ex for everything, chances are, you are not. 




Edit No 2: Since so many people seem to have missed the point, here. I do not justify BM's being rude and mean to SM's. But, when BM got pregnant, she most likely did not know she would later have to deal with another woman in BD's life. It was just a card that fate dealt her. She got the short end, KWIM? SM, on the other hand, knew exactly what she was getting into when she started dating a man with children. She can't undo the kids or the fact that her SO's ex will always have a relationship with "her man." Which is when most resort to the insults and badmouthing.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 3, 2012 at 1:09 AM
Replies (181-190):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 3, 2012 at 8:26 PM

Bad mouthing your SO's DEAD ex. Someday you are going to slip and tell your stepkids what you think of their deceased mother, and they will see you for what you truly are.

Quoting AdellesMom:

Since the OP likes to duck and dodge, I'll re-quote it!

Quoting AdellesMom:

How is that selfish? Expressing your feelings equates to be selfish?! What rock do you live under? Is it comfy under there?



Quoting Anonymous:

Again, wow. How selfish.

Quoting AdellesMom:

FYI: I've never bad mouth my SDs mom in front of them. I've only done it twice with DH. Why? Their mother was a LIAR and she hurt her DH by lying about the paternity of her twins. She told him that he was the father when she knew that my DH was the father, and that she was pregnant before she met her DH.

The sad thing about it is that people found out the truth AFTER she passed. She didn't have the guts to tell anyone while she was alive. The one thing that really gets me is that she and I were very good friends before she passed.

It wasn't bad enough that she passed away, she also ripped apart her family when she passed because of her lies.



Charli627
by on May. 3, 2012 at 8:28 PM
Well what is it if SHE was the reason the marriage fell apart. Say....cheated with one guy, caught chlyamida, and didnt know who fathered her second son, cheated with another man and once again another baby she didn't know who the father was (this one proved to not be Dh) and cheated with a third guy, also also drinking and doing weed with the guy, left his house, and got into an accident in their van (with all four kids with her). Even she admitted to Dh being good to her.

Quoting Anonymous:

Maybe because your husband did not treat her the way he should have, and she is angry that a woman other than the mother of his kids is given that place? It's not right, but I see why one would be angry. I don't consider that enough to label a person crazy. But I guess the first part of your reply explains my post.

Quoting Chatema:

 Glad I'm not one of those sm. But I don't have to make the ex look like a psycho. She does that on her own. Should have seen the look on her face when we told her we were married. She was pissed. And the only thing is that I do not understand why?


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BJAponte77
by on May. 3, 2012 at 8:31 PM

 How is it doing more?  Is she irresponsible for not reimbursing us the cost of our time with them or the gas it takes to pick them up drive them an hour away home then drop them back off since she never does any of that.  I bet you're one of those girls who believes the mom does no wrong and men are assholes.  Go watch lifetime collect your cs spend it on your own pathetic life hate men be bitter and whatever else you do to make your bullshit life seem legit.  If you wanna call my man irresponsible fight like a real bitch instead of a pussy...who are you?

Quoting Anonymous:

Just because he's irresponsible doesn't mean she should have to do more. Child support is the least of what he should do for both HER and the kids.

Quoting BJAponte77:

In actuallity when you open your legs, you agree to the responsibilities of a baby that includes money.  She is well off on her own and doesn't need to supplement with my boyfriend's check.  If you had the slightest clue what you were talking about you would know that no one in their right mind would ever put a law in place that someone should have to pay for someone else's unnecessary spending because they have your child part of the week.  Obviously it's to support the children not to pay for anything of hers.  I care what she spent it on because they are my step kids.  Yes they are her kids but I love them, if you don't feel that way about yours that is your problem anonymous but I care about mine.  Also you don't want any part of insulting my boyfriend before you do get some balls and uncheck the anonymous button you stupid bitter bitch.

Quoting Anonymous:

It was money he should have paid for before. Who cares what she spent it on! Geesh, get over it!! It is child support she had to supplement b/c your irresponsible hsuband didn't pay when he should have. 

Quoting BJAponte77:

 Actually yes, no one said for her to spend all her money on the children and if she didn't blow the whole months check she could make it last.  The amount he pays could pay some people's rent.  I don't see how anyone can even dispute this it's not pay mommy back for spending frivously support it's CHILD support.

Quoting Anonymous:

If mom has all her bills paid up, the child has what they need and a few wants from time to time, then mom can spend the money how she sees fit even if it is on a tatoo.  You can't expect that she would pay all the bills and buy all the food and make sure the kid has everything they need in a month before she gets the child support and then just because it's child support she should spend all THAT on a kid too.   

Like the previous poster said BASICALLY  child support give her back part of the money she spent or will spend. 

Sorry it's not cut and dry like everyone thinks.

 


 

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Charli627
by on May. 3, 2012 at 8:32 PM
But im glad im not the sm you are talking about
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 3, 2012 at 8:32 PM

Still not a reason to bad mouth her, even if it's not in front of the children. I will never tell DD that her dad and I split b/c he lied and cheated. I'll let him tell her.

Quoting Charli627:

Well what is it if SHE was the reason the marriage fell apart. Say....cheated with one guy, caught chlyamida, and didnt know who fathered her second son, cheated with another man and once again another baby she didn't know who the father was (this one proved to not be Dh) and cheated with a third guy, also also drinking and doing weed with the guy, left his house, and got into an accident in their van (with all four kids with her). Even she admitted to Dh being good to her.

Quoting Anonymous:

Maybe because your husband did not treat her the way he should have, and she is angry that a woman other than the mother of his kids is given that place? It's not right, but I see why one would be angry. I don't consider that enough to label a person crazy. But I guess the first part of your reply explains my post.

Quoting Chatema:

 Glad I'm not one of those sm. But I don't have to make the ex look like a psycho. She does that on her own. Should have seen the look on her face when we told her we were married. She was pissed. And the only thing is that I do not understand why?



BJAponte77
by on May. 3, 2012 at 8:34 PM
1 mom liked this

 Bet your kids are proud of you when life hands you lemons collect money from a working man just for having his kids.  PLEASE tell me you DON'T have daughters!!!!!!!

Quoting Anonymous:

Bad mouthing your SO's DEAD ex. Someday you are going to slip and tell your stepkids what you think of their deceased mother, and they will see you for what you truly are.

Quoting AdellesMom:

Since the OP likes to duck and dodge, I'll re-quote it!

Quoting AdellesMom:

How is that selfish? Expressing your feelings equates to be selfish?! What rock do you live under? Is it comfy under there?



Quoting Anonymous:

Again, wow. How selfish.

Quoting AdellesMom:

FYI: I've never bad mouth my SDs mom in front of them. I've only done it twice with DH. Why? Their mother was a LIAR and she hurt her DH by lying about the paternity of her twins. She told him that he was the father when she knew that my DH was the father, and that she was pregnant before she met her DH.

The sad thing about it is that people found out the truth AFTER she passed. She didn't have the guts to tell anyone while she was alive. The one thing that really gets me is that she and I were very good friends before she passed.

It wasn't bad enough that she passed away, she also ripped apart her family when she passed because of her lies.



 

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AdellesMom
by on May. 3, 2012 at 8:37 PM
*DH. I'm married.

How dare my DH and I have two negative discussions about my SDs mother because she LIED for over seven years about the paternity of her children! How dare we feel anger towards her for devestating her DH, tearing his world apart, an give us the added stress of raising two more children!

(Sarcasm) I do think that my feelings about the situation are appropriate. Who wouldn't be angry, hurt, and devastated in this situation?

Yes. I'll slip up and tell them that she was one of my CLOSEST friends, and that even though what she did was WRONG, I'll always remember her for her POSITIVITYand KINDNESS. Then, my SDs will see that I don't hate their mother, just like I said.

I hate her actions and lies. I don't hate her as a person.

FYI: Expressing your feelings doesn't equate to being selfish. You need to check out a dictionary and a thesaurus.

Like I said earlier: what Rick do you live under and is it comfortable under there?


Quoting Anonymous:

Bad mouthing your SO's DEAD ex. Someday you are going to slip and tell your stepkids what you think of their deceased mother, and they will see you for what you truly are.

Quoting AdellesMom:

Since the OP likes to duck and dodge, I'll re-quote it!



Quoting AdellesMom:

How is that selfish? Expressing your feelings equates to be selfish?! What rock do you live under? Is it comfy under there?





Quoting Anonymous:

Again, wow. How selfish.

Quoting AdellesMom:

FYI: I've never bad mouth my SDs mom in front of them. I've only done it twice with DH. Why? Their mother was a LIAR and she hurt her DH by lying about the paternity of her twins. She told him that he was the father when she knew that my DH was the father, and that she was pregnant before she met her DH.

The sad thing about it is that people found out the truth AFTER she passed. She didn't have the guts to tell anyone while she was alive. The one thing that really gets me is that she and I were very good friends before she passed.

It wasn't bad enough that she passed away, she also ripped apart her family when she passed because of her lies.



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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 3, 2012 at 8:37 PM

She would be if you got your way and your ahmazing bf didn't have to pay cs for HIS kid. Both chose to have the child, so they split all costs of raising him 50/50. I disagree, I am far from bitter. =)

Quoting BJAponte77:

 How is it doing more?  Is she irresponsible for not reimbursing us the cost of our time with them or the gas it takes to pick them up drive them an hour away home then drop them back off since she never does any of that.  I bet you're one of those girls who believes the mom does no wrong and men are assholes.  Go watch lifetime collect your cs spend it on your own pathetic life hate men be bitter and whatever else you do to make your bullshit life seem legit.  If you wanna call my man irresponsible fight like a real bitch instead of a pussy...who are you?

Quoting Anonymous:

Just because he's irresponsible doesn't mean she should have to do more. Child support is the least of what he should do for both HER and the kids.

Quoting BJAponte77:

In actuallity when you open your legs, you agree to the responsibilities of a baby that includes money.  She is well off on her own and doesn't need to supplement with my boyfriend's check.  If you had the slightest clue what you were talking about you would know that no one in their right mind would ever put a law in place that someone should have to pay for someone else's unnecessary spending because they have your child part of the week.  Obviously it's to support the children not to pay for anything of hers.  I care what she spent it on because they are my step kids.  Yes they are her kids but I love them, if you don't feel that way about yours that is your problem anonymous but I care about mine.  Also you don't want any part of insulting my boyfriend before you do get some balls and uncheck the anonymous button you stupid bitter bitch.

Quoting Anonymous:

It was money he should have paid for before. Who cares what she spent it on! Geesh, get over it!! It is child support she had to supplement b/c your irresponsible hsuband didn't pay when he should have. 

Quoting BJAponte77:

 Actually yes, no one said for her to spend all her money on the children and if she didn't blow the whole months check she could make it last.  The amount he pays could pay some people's rent.  I don't see how anyone can even dispute this it's not pay mommy back for spending frivously support it's CHILD support.

Quoting Anonymous:

If mom has all her bills paid up, the child has what they need and a few wants from time to time, then mom can spend the money how she sees fit even if it is on a tatoo.  You can't expect that she would pay all the bills and buy all the food and make sure the kid has everything they need in a month before she gets the child support and then just because it's child support she should spend all THAT on a kid too.   

Like the previous poster said BASICALLY  child support give her back part of the money she spent or will spend. 

Sorry it's not cut and dry like everyone thinks.

 


 


mandylin3
by Silver Member on May. 3, 2012 at 8:38 PM

I am not in a situation like this but I have heard my sister, who id divorced and her ex is remarried, talk about the stepmom horribly.  She has also complained about her kids coming home and telling her that stepmom has told her kids things like "Well, mommy doesn't know everything.", "Your mom didn't graduate High School." or "I don't care what you eat at your mom's, this isn't your mom's house and you will eat it whether you lilke it or not." (now this last one...my niece is 10 and knows what she does and doesn't like to eat at this point."

I think there should be a united front, if only for the kids' sakes.  In a relationship such as that, there really seems to be competition (ex:bio mom knows she is going to see bio dad and so she dresses nicely and does her make-up and hair beautifully just for that reason), resentment and jealousy.  It's sad, both ways.

Charli627
by on May. 3, 2012 at 8:39 PM
Lol we never badmouth bm. The only reason I brought it up now is because you made it seem like bms are mad cause of how the bd treated them. The kids are telling us how she constantly talks about us, and we never have retaliated.

Quoting Anonymous:

Still not a reason to bad mouth her, even if it's not in front of the children. I will never tell DD that her dad and I split b/c he lied and cheated. I'll let him tell her.

Quoting Charli627:

Well what is it if SHE was the reason the marriage fell apart. Say....cheated with one guy, caught chlyamida, and didnt know who fathered her second son, cheated with another man and once again another baby she didn't know who the father was (this one proved to not be Dh) and cheated with a third guy, also also drinking and doing weed with the guy, left his house, and got into an accident in their van (with all four kids with her). Even she admitted to Dh being good to her.



Quoting Anonymous:

Maybe because your husband did not treat her the way he should have, and she is angry that a woman other than the mother of his kids is given that place? It's not right, but I see why one would be angry. I don't consider that enough to label a person crazy. But I guess the first part of your reply explains my post.

Quoting Chatema:

 Glad I'm not one of those sm. But I don't have to make the ex look like a psycho. She does that on her own. Should have seen the look on her face when we told her we were married. She was pissed. And the only thing is that I do not understand why?



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