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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I Think StepMoms Who Hate on BioMoms Are

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Insecure about their relationships with their husbands. They try to make the ex look like a psycho bitch cuz that pleases their husbands, without thinking that if your husband talks about his ex like that, chances are he speaks of you the same way. 

I also think trying to turn the kids against their parents is pretty f'ing low. If mom/dad is a lowlife, letting them know makes the child feel like they are the same peice of trash.

Kids should never know of the conflicts between parents, nor should they be used as pawns. Doing so damages them, so much!

If step parents were truly out for the best interest of the children (which they should be, being that they entered into a relationship with a person who already had kids), they would not let petty things like haircuts, pickup times, and child support be determining factors in their relationships with their SK's.

I have been on both ends, and know damn well all the shizznit I said about BM was out of anger.



Edit: 

I do realize that BM's often hate on the SM. But, they are hurt and/or angry. They are not insecure, b/c there is nothing to be insecure about. They no longer have an intimate relationship with BD. The SM's I am referring to are the ones who go out of their way to make every single mistake BM makes out to be horrible parenting. The ones who complain about arrears being spent on BM, without thinking that BM already spent her own money to supplement BD's when he wasn't paying. There are good SM's out there. However, if you badmouth your SO's ex for everything, chances are, you are not. 




Edit No 2: Since so many people seem to have missed the point, here. I do not justify BM's being rude and mean to SM's. But, when BM got pregnant, she most likely did not know she would later have to deal with another woman in BD's life. It was just a card that fate dealt her. She got the short end, KWIM? SM, on the other hand, knew exactly what she was getting into when she started dating a man with children. She can't undo the kids or the fact that her SO's ex will always have a relationship with "her man." Which is when most resort to the insults and badmouthing.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 3, 2012 at 1:09 AM
Replies (71-80):
newmommy52012
by on May. 3, 2012 at 2:49 AM

LOL...no! I know 100% for a fact he wasn't.

I don't know what would give you that impression...

She hates me because I'm younger, & she didn't want him to move on & be happy. She still hated me because she he & I are having a baby & she doesn't want him to have more kids. She wants their kids to have all the attention. I know everything, I have heard the convos & seen the texts, she doesn't know that though. She kicked him out, she wanted him to beg for her back, but he moved on, met me & the rest is history.

Quoting Anonymous:

Maybe he was still sleeping with his wife when you got involved with him?

Quoting newmommy52012:

What do you mean something he's not telling me?? He tells me everything & yes I was. They were going through a divorce 3 years ago & we dated while he was still married but going through a divorce, that made me the other womAn. yes,my bad, It's 12:30am, I'm extremly tired from lack of sleep & I still can't sleep. Sorry.

Quoting Anonymous:

Were you the "other womAn?" maybe there's something he's not telling you?

Quoting newmommy52012:

WELL...I'm not a step mom yet BUT I never used to hate my BF ex wife, but she has ALWAYS hated me because I'm the "other women"  3 years & counting. I never hated her, never had a reason to, but then a few weeks back she texted my BF saying our soon to be son was a bastard child & all this crap that was VERY low & immature stuff. We were both livid, but fighting wont solve anything or make anything better.

I want to be nice because that's the adult thing to do, but I can't, so I just don't say anything.


 


 

CafeMom Tickers

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on May. 3, 2012 at 2:49 AM

Awesome!  It's a lot smaller than I'm used too.   Also everything is all spaced out!  It's crazy!

Quoting Anonymous:

I was born and raised in Dodge! LOL I graduated from DCHS, as a matter of fact! 

Quoting Anonymous:

Near Cimmaron, Dodge City, Garden City.  What about you?



Chatema
by on May. 3, 2012 at 2:50 AM

 Well their marriage was real...for lack of better words shitty. And the treatment went both ways on both ends. It just saddens me that now she is keeping my step-sons away from us and telling them that their daddy doesn't love them and that he has a new family. Stuff like that is reason why I think she a psycho but of course that is just my opinion. And of course she came over trying to fight after she was told the news.

Quoting Anonymous:

Maybe because your husband did not treat her the way he should have, and she is angry that a woman other than the mother of his kids is given that place? It's not right, but I see why one would be angry. I don't consider that enough to label a person crazy. But I guess the first part of your reply explains my post.

Quoting Chatema:

 Glad I'm not one of those sm. But I don't have to make the ex look like a psycho. She does that on her own. Should have seen the look on her face when we told her we were married. She was pissed. And the only thing is that I do not understand why?


 

lovelove211
by Platinum Member on May. 3, 2012 at 2:50 AM
I agree. Perhaps that's why a lot of people dislike their step parents
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 3, 2012 at 2:51 AM

You don't consider it was innappropriate to go to her parent's house?? I hate when exes act like this, though. If you are split up, it is because both parties want to move on!

Quoting Anonymous:

BM called me a bitch when DH informed her that he had gotten married, she and I had never met before. Then she said ever so pointedly that she has my step child calling other men daddy anyways. Very mature of her and I've never even spoken one word to her to this day bcause of the tension and awkwardness. She's older than me too. When we met face to face the first time she looked me up and down crazily then stormed off leaving DH and I with my step child and his Grandpa in BM's parents' living room.

There's no reasoning with that especially since she has such hatred toward DH even though they were broken up for 2 years when we met and married.


3xangel
by *Angelicious* on May. 3, 2012 at 2:52 AM


Quoting Momniscient:

Parents should be mature and put the children first always. It's tough because divorces and custody issues are so emotional. But adults need to be adults regardless of their insecurities and feelings. It isn't appropriate, reasonable or mature to put kids through the emotional trauma for the sake of an adult emotion.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 3, 2012 at 2:54 AM

It is very small. But I like it. It is very homey, you know? I don't think you can feel out of place there. How long have you lived there? Have you been to the casino yet?

Quoting Anonymous:

Awesome!  It's a lot smaller than I'm used too.   Also everything is all spaced out!  It's crazy!

Quoting Anonymous:

I was born and raised in Dodge! LOL I graduated from DCHS, as a matter of fact! 

Quoting Anonymous:

Near Cimmaron, Dodge City, Garden City.  What about you?




Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on May. 3, 2012 at 2:59 AM

So do you still live near Dodge?

I think it's alright, it was sort of a bit of culture shock for me at first.  Going to take Spanish courses at the college.

I haven't been out to the Casino yet, aside from driving by it when we were out looking for houses. 

Quoting Anonymous:

It is very small. But I like it. It is very homey, you know? I don't think you can feel out of place there. How long have you lived there? Have you been to the casino yet?

Quoting Anonymous:

Awesome!  It's a lot smaller than I'm used too.   Also everything is all spaced out!  It's crazy!

Quoting Anonymous:

I was born and raised in Dodge! LOL I graduated from DCHS, as a matter of fact! 

Quoting Anonymous:

Near Cimmaron, Dodge City, Garden City.  What about you?





Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on May. 3, 2012 at 2:59 AM

We asked if we could pick up my step child and go to the park for some alone daddy time, but her family said no so we had our visit in their home. It was very uncomfortable for me to be in BM's parents' house however they were nice and cordial towards me. BM is the only one who reacted ugly.

From what I can gather the break up was mutual, but BM thinks she owns DH because they have a child together. That's a backwards way to think if you ask me. I don't even own DH and we're married.


 

Quoting Anonymous:

You don't consider it was innappropriate to go to her parent's house?? I hate when exes act like this, though. If you are split up, it is because both parties want to move on!

Quoting Anonymous:

BM called me a bitch when DH informed her that he had gotten married, she and I had never met before. Then she said ever so pointedly that she has my step child calling other men daddy anyways. Very mature of her and I've never even spoken one word to her to this day bcause of the tension and awkwardness. She's older than me too. When we met face to face the first time she looked me up and down crazily then stormed off leaving DH and I with my step child and his Grandpa in BM's parents' living room.

There's no reasoning with that especially since she has such hatred toward DH even though they were broken up for 2 years when we met and married.



Lachrymose
by on May. 3, 2012 at 3:00 AM

:)  I like the "fun" mommy thing.. lol.. it does sound like she's doing great!  And that is SO good to hear. 

We wondered (and hoped) BM would just grow up or mature or SOMETHING.. but it just never happened.. she's 37 now.. knowing about her family and past does shed light on why she is the way she is now, but some of the things she has done are just unforgiveable.  And she (at least acts like) she doesn't care (which is a part of her whole issue.. she has no feelings really.. DH saw her cry twice the entire time they were together.. once when her grandfather died and once when she got beat by her own father for cheating on DH.. but we wonder if it was just because she thought she needed to react that way at the time to help her during the situation.. I'm saying like psycho/sociopaths do.. they adapt to their situations..). 

Ahem.. anyway.. in the beginning, I had no idea she was that bad.. so I of course treated her like a person.. lol.. I always give people the benefit of the doubt.. but wow.. I am surprised she hasn't been arrested yet... but she works hard at NOT getting in trouble for the things she does.. very good at the whole manipulation thing.. she even got the new bf to assault DH.. and then years later the guy apologized to DH because he didn't know how she was at the time.. it's always WAY AFTER THE FACT that people realize how she really is while we (and others) are almost screaming that something is wrong and that if we don't do something now, something bad is going to happen to these kids!  Well, it was too late.. some really bad stuff went down.. :(

Anyway, if and when BM matures and decides to be a better mom, will you be able to handle, well, handing the little one over, so to speak.. ?  :)  That's another thing SMs have to deal with.. once you let them into your heart, you have to be prepared to get hurt because of something like that.. it is a tough thing being a SM..

Sorry for the long post.. it's late.. I'm tired.. lol.

Quoting Anonymous:

I've had a few on here tell me that she's not my daughter.   I didn't give birth to her, but I'm the only mother she's ever known from the time she was one until now, she is almost four.   I don't consider her my step-daughter, she is my daughter.   She has taken this change in stride, she has two mommy's and thinks it's cool.  I'm not the "fun" mommy as she put it, I'm the mommy who cooks dinner and buys her birthday presents.  LoL. 

We moved out to KS near her because there are jobs, not because she is here.  That was just a "side effect".   She's always jetting off to TX at the drop of a hat, she has a kid down there with her father too.  Just signed away custody of both to their respective fathers. 

I don't think BM is really doing anything super harmful, just that she's young and selfish.  I try to be polite and let her have her time, much of which she never uses.  They'll go to the zoo or go to the movies or something.  We don't get to do that stuff often.   I will say that she is fair ..... ?   Maybe not quite what I'm looking for.  When they are going to the zoo, bday party, or movies she always invites my daughter (one year older than my step-daughter) along. 

I don't mind her being a part of my daughter's life, I just wish she was more consistent and didn't only ask to see her when she has plans with her friends.  A child can never have to many people to love them .

Quoting Lachrymose:

Sounds familiar.. except she hasn't seen or talked to her daughter (no cards, gifts, nothing.. never has once called) except once in over 8 years.. and she's lived no more than 40 minutes away (and for a while it was not even 15 minutes away) her entire life... oh, the stories I could tell...

(I hope your daughter adjusts okay BTW.. we have been *somewhat* lucky that BM just finally stopped all contact.. because when she was around, it was just so messed up.. SD used to vomit all the time for no physically medical reason whenever she got overly emotional.. happy or sad or anything.. it finally stopped about a year after her mom stopped coming around..)  :(

I don't understand why people overgeneralize so much on CM.. lol.. or do they just forget to put in the word "most" or "some" before they go off?  ^.^

Quoting Anonymous:

Hm. Or maybe bio mom IS a peice of shit and ditched on her kid and now only wants anything to do with her so that she can show off all the hard work teaching the child and taking care of her and raising her right the SM did.

True story.  BM only shows up when she wants to pretend to be a good mommy and show my 3 year old off to her friends.

So about once a month, up until December it had been 3 years since she'd seen my daughter.

Just saying there are other possibilites and you shouldn't lump everyone into one.




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