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I only stay with my husband because....

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
It literally makes me sick to my stomach to imagine him with someone else, or having our kids around someone else. Now don't get me wrong I do love my husband we have been together since we were 16 now were going on 24 have been married for 6 years and have two daughters . He has put me threw hell over the years although I don't have evidince of physical cheating I know he has text ex girlfriends being all flirty even asked for pictures a few times, saw that he was talking to sluts on creigslist ...told me that was a joke him and his friends were messing around. We have gone to councling and stuff but its not the same as it used to be . I feel distant from him, I don't trust him, whenever he leaves I'm wondering what he is doing, who he is with if he is lying . He was the first boy I kissed, dated seriously, had sex with. I feel like he is just here. He doesn't try to improve the relationship . It's like living with a roomate you share a bed with and on occasion have sex . Yet I will never leave him because I don't want my kids around another woman that's not a family member , and the thought of him with any one else sickens me . Seriously makes me ill . Im depressed , unhappy a lot of the time. I feel like I'm by myself even when he is here . He plays video games whenever he is home, doesnt help me with our girls he , doesnt help with the house we hardly talk at all. I dunno I just kinda wanted to tell someone that I can't tell anyone in my family. I try talking to him but he doesn't care . I dunno I suppose that's it. Thanks for listening .
Posted by Anonymous on May. 3, 2012 at 5:08 AM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 3, 2012 at 4:16 PM

Hugs, I know this might sound harsh and not something you want to hear, but it sounds like your scared of splitting up because you think he'll have no problem moving on and with your body image you think you'll never find anyone. What you need to do is get healthy work out become as attractive as you can and then you can think of the future in a positive light. Like well if we split up that'll suck but there will definitely be guys interested in dating me- type of interest. Break ups can be really hard if you've convinced yourself that your going to be forever alone

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting mom2cheesebug:

I'm sorry your dealing with that, but honestly wouldn't your girls be better off with two happy parents, with two happy step parents, wrather than two unhappy parents, one of which is completly uninvolved. I have seen women go down this path and then their children grow up thinking thats how moms and dads are suppose to be, distant, cold, and one parent being uninvolved just to avoid the other parent. Then they end up in the same relationships because thats whats normal to them.


And if you think he is cheating, why would you want to stay? The thought of him being with someone else might make you sick, but what about him being with someone else just to bring you home whatever he might of caught from them?



I know but I honestly doubt I would date anyone I am completly anti social I won't talk to anyone unless I ABSOLUTLY have to . He I know would have a new gf every week probably I can't imagine my kids around that. He's very attractive and well I've had two kids and I'm not a size 3 anymore I don't think is be able to find anyone else plus he is literally all i know we've been together since highschool he was my first everything . And I know if we seperated no matter how nice whoever he dated was I know i would hate her . It's a weird situation for me the thought of him with someone else and my kids around that someone else makes my stomach turn .


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 3, 2012 at 4:22 PM
Quoting kittysRcute7:

Well you have to remember if you guys do split up he'll be having to face the same thing when you move on, he'll have to know there's another man that makes you happy, that might be doing a better job than he ever did, he'll have to know there's another man making his little girls laugh and smile. It's a two way street and men don't like thinking about those things either



I don't honestly think I would date . He was my first boyriend, kiss, sex everything . He would easily get new girlfriends and let's face it I've had two kids I'm not a size 3 anymore . I don't think is find anyone else and it would be very easy for him . I could t stand to see that or have my kids around someone else. He honestly would have nothing to worry about because I doubt i would even try to find someone else . He knows it to I have zero self esteem I'm completly anti social I don't talk to anyone unless I ABSOLUTLY have zero choice . He knows that and he knows I won't leave because of it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 3, 2012 at 4:26 PM
Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry, are you me?? LOL. I am the complete and total same as you, except we haven't gotten married and we have a ds and dd. But I feel the same as you!! And I can't bring myself to leave either!



Well Im sorry your going threw this to because its very shitty lol good luck i hope everything works out for you
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 3, 2012 at 4:32 PM
Quoting Anonymous:



I work out at home , I'm not fat or anything I'm 5"7 140 pounds I'm a size five . I mean I obviously used to be skinner . But its just that I don't feel attractive he doesn't make me feel like I'm pretty or worth it to him. And I know he would easily move on . I diliberatly go to only grocery stores with self checkout so I don't have to talk to anyone , I pay all our bills online so I don't have to talk to anyone I avoid people at all costs unless I have no choice. It would be hard to find anyone if I won't talk or go near anyone ..its just a shitty spot I want him to go to councling with him but is doubt he would go
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 3, 2012 at 4:32 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry, are you me?? LOL. I am the complete and total same as you, except we haven't gotten married and we have a ds and dd. But I feel the same as you!! And I can't bring myself to leave either!



Well Im sorry your going threw this to because its very shitty lol good luck i hope everything works out for you

Thanks, same to you too! 

shortcakes13
by Silver Member on May. 3, 2012 at 4:36 PM
I am sorry mama...I am in a similar boat... if u need to talk...pm me... :)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 3, 2012 at 4:37 PM
Quoting shortcakes13:

I am sorry mama...I am in a similar boat... if u need to talk...pm me... :)


Thank you :)
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 3, 2012 at 4:39 PM
Same reason I'm still with my husband.... It sucks...hugs!


Quoting Anonymous:

It literally makes me sick to my stomach to imagine him with someone else, or having our kids around someone else. Now don't get me wrong I do love my husband we have been together since we were 16 now were going on 24 have been married for 6 years and have two daughters . He has put me threw hell over the years although I don't have evidince of physical cheating I know he has text ex girlfriends being all flirty even asked for pictures a few times, saw that he was talking to sluts on creigslist ...told me that was a joke him and his friends were messing around. We have gone to councling and stuff but its not the same as it used to be . I feel distant from him, I don't trust him, whenever he leaves I'm wondering what he is doing, who he is with if he is lying . He was the first boy I kissed, dated seriously, had sex with. I feel like he is just here. He doesn't try to improve the relationship . It's like living with a roomate you share a bed with and on occasion have sex . Yet I will never leave him because I don't want my kids around another woman that's not a family member , and the thought of him with any one else sickens me . Seriously makes me ill . Im depressed , unhappy a lot of the time. I feel like I'm by myself even when he is here . He plays video games whenever he is home, doesnt help me with our girls he , doesnt help with the house we hardly talk at all. I dunno I just kinda wanted to tell someone that I can't tell anyone in my family. I try talking to him but he doesn't care . I dunno I suppose that's it. Thanks for listening .

DixieL
by Platinum Member on May. 3, 2012 at 4:45 PM

I'm very sorry you are living like that. Since you won't get a divorcee I don't know what you can do. It isn't going to get any better. I'm sure you know that. Maybe one day soon you will feel better about leaving him. You can't spend the rest of your life feeling this miserble and just stay because you don't want your kids to be around a girlfriend or step-mother. Good Luck to you

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 3, 2012 at 4:45 PM
Quoting Anonymous:



I'm sorry your going threw a similar situation . good luck to you
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