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13y/o texted naked pic to a boy yesterday.. *EDITx3 Had the talk..

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 91 Replies

 and I am devastated..and beyond dissapointed in her. I feel like a failure. I thought we taught her better then that and can't believe she did something so stupid. Thankfully he doesn't go to her school and lives an hour away but all it takes is one share and it's everywhere.. She doesn't know that we know yet. I have her phone and we will deactivate text/internet from it. She can't take the laptop upstairs anyway but there will be no internet/camera/etc access allowed upstairs period. I found the boy on FB and there is nothing bad between them on there (I have her login). His parents are on there, should we contact them and pray they will talk with him and delete it? How else can we make her realize how serious this is??

I certainly made stupid mistakes as a teenager but I could really use an instruction manual right about now.. So glad summer is coming up soon and we'll get to spend 24/7 joined at the hip. We plan to talk to her tonight after the little ones are in bed.

EDIT: First I want to thank everyone for the support & advice offered. I know how the bashfests work around here so it was a relief to see so much postive advice on what we should do now. There's apparently more to it. This started LAST week, I read their entire text history.with him and she has sent 3 pics of this nature.  Turns out he has sent one back. You can't see everything on him but damn near close enough. There are laws where she AND he can be charged with possession and/or distribution of child porn so we do not plan to contact the police unless absolutely necessary. And if it ended up on any other source than their phones anyone who owns that could be in trouble as well. The 2 have never met in person and thankfully live an hour appart. He goes to school with her best friend who moved away. He did talk about how nosey his parents were and so forth so I hope that means they will be understanding and cooperative with deleting all pics. Especially since there is one of their son as well. They scary part is while searching for laws and such on this I came across 3 young girls who hung themselves after doing this same thing :( One 16y/o boy who got mad at his gf shared the pics and now has to register as a sex offender until he is 48 years old! We are going to be brutally honest with her about how dissapointed we are, how serious this is, the consequences of what could happen to her & him (even us parents) and then punishment phase. Life is pretty much going to suck for her for quite some time.

Trying to run through replies here...Yes, she's 13 and has a FB but nothing bad was done through there. I have always had her login for it anyway. And she knows we have all access to her phone so wth was she thinking!? Also, her phone came with camera, etc and we don't pay anything extra for hers. The plan now is to deactivate everything but phone call capability on her phone. No computer/internet access. I am about to msg the boy's mom through FB (only way I know how since I don't know where they live or ph#'s). I will update again after I hear back from them..assuming I will.

Edit 2: I msged the Mom on FB a couple hours or so ago, 1st just to confirm that she is his mom. She has no profile pic and her page is pretty private. That would be pretty akward if she wasn't so I didn't want to put what's going in the msg..I did say it was concerning him & our daughter and was pretty urgent. Still waiting to hear back from her :\ Also, I forgot to post earlier how we found out about this to begin with. She had gotten into trouble recently for texting during school and then past her cut-off time at night so her Dad got her phone this a.m. to see who it was and this is what found. He saw the pic because it was next to the last thing she sent. I went through the entire history and saw the rest.

Edit 3: That was a LONG day. I never did hear back from the boys Mom.. We finally talked to DD at about 8 last night. We kinda sat there for a minute not knowing where to begin. Dad asked her if she knew why we were there and she started bawling. It wasn't an I got busted, she was so ashamed of what she'd done. I asked her if she knew what child porn was, how she & even he could get in big trouble over it. Not just slap on the wrist grounded kind of trouble.. Talked about how teen boys generally have one thing on their mind, how she needs to respect herself & her body, about it takes him sharing it once if not already. We wiped her cell entirely so she lost everything she had in it and it's taken away. We changed the wifi pw so she can't access internet/skype whatever at home. Unfortunately her school is based almost entirely on technology (they don't use books much, mostly ipads, etc) so we told her we'll have to trust her not to access that at school..FB will be deactivated. Then we had her call the boy and ask for his parents ph#. You could hear him ask why and she said I just need it..then you could hear the fear in his voice. He gave her his dad's cell. Hubby called and introduced himself and said our DD & their son had been exchanging pics on their phones. His dad said "I think they call that sexting these days"..I find that an odd response to be blindsided with somethign like this but the conversation went pretty well. Hubby told the dad DD is only 13, turned out the boy is almost 16.... The Dad said he'd do the same with their sons phone. I'll be honest I didn't sleep well, I kept thinking of those 3 girls I read about who hung themselves after doing this and had to keep cking on DD. The whole thing did go a lot "better" then I thought it would, her Dad gave her a huge hug and told her how much more he wants for her, loves her and just doesn't want her to get hurt. That there's plenty of time for boy stuff when she's older.

Someone asked about the pics, She's standing facing frontwards in 2 of them totally naked, One she has her arm across her belly and the other thankfully something on the counter is kind of blocking the view. The other she's sideways so you can see some of top but not bottom, just tell that she is naked though. All are from a good 6ft away.

 

Posted by Anonymous on May. 3, 2012 at 10:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
kryptomom
by Gold Member on May. 3, 2012 at 11:00 AM
1 mom liked this

So sorry this happened.  Kids don't realize the scope of the things they do.

Looks like you've covered it with her.  Contact his parents.  He is in possession of child pornography and they all can get into trouble for that.

chickensmommy
by Gold Member on May. 3, 2012 at 11:01 AM
I think you are doing the right thing.
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2cupsofcoffee
by on May. 3, 2012 at 11:01 AM

there's some technology that teens and pre-teens just don't have the analytical skills and impulse control to manage so parents set them up when they give them unlimited, unsupervised access to this stuff.  parents will make this out to be a failure of some type on the child's part when in really it is a parenting failure...failure to understand child development and brain development.

evanne337
by Silver Member on May. 3, 2012 at 11:02 AM
2 moms liked this
I say yes contact his parents
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tifbrown
by on May. 3, 2012 at 11:03 AM
I wish she could talk to my 16 year old sis-in-law. She sent out a few pics, the boys PROMISED they wouldn't go anywhere. Well guess what? Half the people in the city saw them. They were everywhere! She was tormented, ridiculed, school was miserable for her. She got so depressed over it because of the things people said to her. Even her friends called her down for it. Let her read this at the very least. Boys do not have that much respect for girls when it comes to this stuff at this age. Hopefully the pics go no where and your daughter learns her lesson.

Oh, and if he does decide to distribute the pic, there is nothing you can do about it because she gave it to him. That happened with a girl my sis-in-law knows. Same situation, but the parents found out. They went to the police and were told that since she willingly gave him the pic it is damn near impossible to do anything about.
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2cupsofcoffee
by on May. 3, 2012 at 11:03 AM

what did he do wrong?  if he's done something illegal then the police need to be notified.

Jblaac57
by on May. 3, 2012 at 11:05 AM

i would contact the parents...let them know that you are handling your daughter so that it does not happen again and that you hope they will atleast have their son delete the picture. its not only dangerous for her but him as well since it would be considered child pornography!

couponluv72
by on May. 3, 2012 at 11:05 AM

you have to report it to the police you know. if you dont you risk being charged with recieving child porn, i kid you not. and obvously her parents have to be notified. you did not fail, her parents did

areles
by on May. 3, 2012 at 11:10 AM
OP's daughter sent it, couponluv72.

And no one has to report anything to the police, and would be ridiculous for doing so. 'Let's ruin our kids' lives over a nudie pic!' No way.

Yes, OP, let the parents know. As mentioned everywhere, he can get in trouble for child porn.

Went through this with my son... girls have been sending him nude pics for years. We've had the child porn discussion several times. :/


Quoting couponluv72:

you have to report it to the police you know. if you dont you risk being charged with recieving child porn, i kid you not. and obvously her parents have to be notified. you did not fail, her parents did


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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 3, 2012 at 11:10 AM

So sorry. children just don't know what is out there in the world waiting to maybe hurt them. I would surly call the boys parents and ask them to delet it. It will be embarrasing but it will stop the boy from sharing it. All you can do is what your already going to do. talk to her. I just don't have any idea how you can expalin to her that she needs to protect herself. Maybe you can give her the you are too precious to share yourself in that way.

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