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Question about miscarriage (may be a sensitive topic to some)

Posted by on May. 4, 2012 at 6:20 PM
  • 42 Replies
I am really sorry if I upset anyone with this post, it is not my intention.

I am 9 weeks pregnant after a tubal ligation as some of you may recall from my post last month. The baby was fine at my last appointment, but today it had no heartbeat. I am not sure what to feel, I was just starting to accept this pregnancy as meant to be only to have it end so soon. My doctor said it just happens sometimes and told me that I can get a d&c or wait to miscarry on my own. I chose to wait it out for now. She told me what the signs of miscarriages are and made an appointment to see me in three weeks to check on my progress. I take it that it can take some time, but I didn't ask any questions as I was in too much shock. What I'd like to know is what to expect, how long can it actually take? I still feel pregnant and still have all the symptoms that I was having prior to finding out. Is this normal?

My dh does not know yet, I am waiting for the kids to go to sleep as we need to be uninterrupted so that we can talk. He knows that something is wrong, but he is not pressuring me.

This is the link to my previous post in case anyone is curious. I am mobile, so I cannot make it clicky. It is updated somewhat, but I didn't bump it.

http://www.cafemom.com/group/115189/forums/read/16341952/I_am_worried_that_I_could_be_UPDATE_4_in_red_at_bottom
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by on May. 4, 2012 at 6:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
VioletSpirit
by on May. 4, 2012 at 6:25 PM
Bump
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Shani527
by Gold Member on May. 4, 2012 at 6:27 PM

I do not know what to say. I do not even know wny I clicked on this post as I have never had this happen to me before, but I read your post you linked and I just want to give you a big cyber hug! How heartbreaking it must be.

CrystalPystol
by on May. 4, 2012 at 6:29 PM
Bump
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julesmccord
by on May. 4, 2012 at 6:29 PM
Hugs sweetie. Most of my MC started within a week. But, my third I found out at 10wks baby stopped growing at 6.5wks. I opted to wait it out. Spotted lightly for a solid month after the 10wk appt. So, I went ahead with the dnc-it wasnt bad and bleeding stopped in about 3 days.

So sorry you have to go through this.
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malinda720
by on May. 4, 2012 at 6:30 PM
I no how you feel I just found out Friday that I had a miscarriage, I was. 9 weeks as well I was the same way just getting used to the fact that I was pregnant and they asked me about a Dnc to but I wanted to try to pass it on my own and it was so painful I just can't even explain I was at the er two nights in a row then I finally decided to have the dnc I was so nervous but it needed to be done so they put me to sleep and did it and when I woke up I felt perfect no more pain or anything I've heard that some people are sore for a few days but I wasn't I felt fine! Hope this helps! Good luck :)
gracieb3
by Platinum Member on May. 4, 2012 at 6:32 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs. I've been there with the no heartbeat and waited it out for 2 weeks. Nothing happened. I can tell you that you will still feel this way as the body will still feel the hormones that are excreted by the still growing sac even if the fetus has lost it's heartbeat. You will feel no changes until the the miscarriage begins where it will feel like the worst super period you have ever had. I highly recommend a d&c by a careful and gentle OB.  That for me was the easiest and it allowed for genetic testing of the fetal matter that gave me answers and closure that I needed. Do not wait to long as if the sac is still growing then you are a greater risk for difficulty miscarrying on your own and then you have to worry about hemorrhaging.  Just know that you were the best mom to your little one for all his or her earthly life. That is all God ask us of his little blessings. Prayers going up and God bless.

marchantmom06
by on May. 4, 2012 at 6:32 PM
I'm sorry but how can you not immediately tell your husband???

If one of your children had been harmed or injured you wouldn't wait until they were in he'd would you?

It's his loss too and he deserves to grieve just as you do.
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Chuckydoodle
by on May. 4, 2012 at 6:32 PM

I had natural expulsions on each of my miscarriages, and it required weekly blood draws to make sure that the HCG count continued downward until it hit the Zero mark. When the actual miscarriage starts you should have some cramping, it can be severe and quite painful. The further along you are the worse it can be. The bleeding will start after that and can take as little as a week to 3 or 4 weeks depending again on the amount of conseption that was there. I am so sorry, it's not going to be easy.

VioletSpirit
by on May. 4, 2012 at 6:33 PM
Thank you. I don't really think that it has sunk in quite yet, but maybe I'm just waiting subconsciously to tell dh. My thoughts and feelings are just so confusing at this point.

Quoting Shani527:

I do not know what to say. I do not even know wny I clicked on this post as I have never had this happen to me before, but I read your post you linked and I just want to give you a big cyber hug! How heartbreaking it must be.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 4, 2012 at 6:33 PM

Oh my goodness... I'm so sorry to hear this. What an emotional rollercoaster... :( Sorry to use that cliche term, but it just seems so appropriate here. 
I haven't personally miscarried, but it has happened to three friends who have described it in detail. Two found out at a check-up, like you. One had a D&C. One waited.. it took about 2 and a half weeks and then she began to pass the fetus. She described it as being not too bad physically, but the waiting was very stressful for her. Another friend miscarried before knowing that she was going to, she ended up not passing it completely and needing a D&C to finish. I have no idea if telling you this is helpful, I'm sure that some other women will post who have peronal experience. 
Best wishes.. and again.. so sorry that you're going through this.  

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