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Question about miscarriage (may be a sensitive topic to some)

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I am really sorry if I upset anyone with this post, it is not my intention.

I am 9 weeks pregnant after a tubal ligation as some of you may recall from my post last month. The baby was fine at my last appointment, but today it had no heartbeat. I am not sure what to feel, I was just starting to accept this pregnancy as meant to be only to have it end so soon. My doctor said it just happens sometimes and told me that I can get a d&c or wait to miscarry on my own. I chose to wait it out for now. She told me what the signs of miscarriages are and made an appointment to see me in three weeks to check on my progress. I take it that it can take some time, but I didn't ask any questions as I was in too much shock. What I'd like to know is what to expect, how long can it actually take? I still feel pregnant and still have all the symptoms that I was having prior to finding out. Is this normal?

My dh does not know yet, I am waiting for the kids to go to sleep as we need to be uninterrupted so that we can talk. He knows that something is wrong, but he is not pressuring me.

This is the link to my previous post in case anyone is curious. I am mobile, so I cannot make it clicky. It is updated somewhat, but I didn't bump it.

http://www.cafemom.com/group/115189/forums/read/16341952/I_am_worried_that_I_could_be_UPDATE_4_in_red_at_bottom
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by on May. 4, 2012 at 6:20 PM
Replies (11-20):
notjstanothrmom
by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2012 at 6:34 PM

First off, I am sorry for your loss.

I've had 4 miscarriages and decided to go natural for all of them. I was bleeding prior to finding out with each one though it was light and sometimes stopped. Each one took it's own time but mine have been relatively quick. Two were very painful and two were not painful at all (physically).

With my first three I was really numb to it. I was sad but I accepted it and life went on. My last was a second trimester loss and I needed a D&E for the placenta becasue it was not coming and I passed a clot larger then a donut.

cueballsmom
by Gold Member on May. 4, 2012 at 6:34 PM
I've heard that naturally ccan take quite a while. I had a dnc with my first miscarriage. It wasn't so bad. My second went naturally. I preferred the second one actually, you feel more in control of something that really is completely out of your hands.

If it puts you at ease, I still feel fantom kicks and often get hit with cravings. I haven't been pregnant for about 7 months now. Try the miscarriage support group for better answers.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Grieve, give yourself time to. It gets better. Hugs.
Merstarr
by Member on May. 4, 2012 at 6:40 PM

Me too... exactly. HUG

Quoting Shani527:

I do not know what to say. I do not even know wny I clicked on this post as I have never had this happen to me before, but I read your post you linked and I just want to give you a big cyber hug! How heartbreaking it must be.


VioletSpirit
by on May. 4, 2012 at 6:41 PM
Thank you. I can always change my mind about the d&c my ob is on call for the next month at the hospital. All I have to is go to the er and ask for her. I may go ahead and do so, but I want my dh involved in the decision.

Quoting julesmccord:

Hugs sweetie. Most of my MC started within a week. But, my third I found out at 10wks baby stopped growing at 6.5wks. I opted to wait it out. Spotted lightly for a solid month after the 10wk appt. So, I went ahead with the dnc-it wasnt bad and bleeding stopped in about 3 days.



So sorry you have to go through this.
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VioletSpirit
by on May. 4, 2012 at 6:42 PM
Thank you and sorry for your loss.

Quoting malinda720:

I no how you feel I just found out Friday that I had a miscarriage, I was. 9 weeks as well I was the same way just getting used to the fact that I was pregnant and they asked me about a Dnc to but I wanted to try to pass it on my own and it was so painful I just can't even explain I was at the er two nights in a row then I finally decided to have the dnc I was so nervous but it needed to be done so they put me to sleep and did it and when I woke up I felt perfect no more pain or anything I've heard that some people are sore for a few days but I wasn't I felt fine! Hope this helps! Good luck :)
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VioletSpirit
by on May. 4, 2012 at 6:45 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you. I might change my mind about the d&c, but I want my dh's opinion to be voiced first.

Quoting gracieb3:

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs. I've been there with the no heartbeat and waited it out for 2 weeks. Nothing happened. I can tell you that you will still feel this way as the body will still feel the hormones that are excreted by the still growing sac even if the fetus has lost it's heartbeat. You will feel no changes until the the miscarriage begins where it will feel like the worst super period you have ever had. I highly recommend a d&c by a careful and gentle OB.  That for me was the easiest and it allowed for genetic testing of the fetal matter that gave me answers and closure that I needed. Do not wait to long as if the sac is still growing then you are a greater risk for difficulty miscarrying on your own and then you have to worry about hemorrhaging.  Just know that you were the best mom to your little one for all his or her earthly life. That is all God ask us of his little blessings. Prayers going up and God bless.

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swizzlefiz
by on May. 4, 2012 at 6:45 PM

The same thing happened to me at 12 weeks.  I found out on a Friday that the baby didn't have a heart beat anymore.  They couldn't do the D&C until Monday.  I tried to make it start on its own over the weekend.  Apparently taking huge amounts of vitamin C works, but I wouldn't recommend it.  It was so painful I ended up in the ER in shock, and still ended up needing the D&C.  If it were me, I'd just get the D&C as soon as possible.  I HATED the feeling of knowing I was carrying my dead baby in my womb.

mewebb82
by Gold Member on May. 4, 2012 at 6:49 PM

I'm so sorry. I've had several miscarriages just like that and the time period before I actually miscarried ranged from a few days to 3 weeks. I've always opted to wait it out. It's totally normal to still have symptoms. Your hormone levels (which cause most symptoms) will start to drop and the symptoms will taper off and stop by the time you miscarry.

styler7
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2012 at 6:50 PM
With my first, I waited 2 weeks and still needed a D&C. I had intense labor like cramps for those 2 weeks.
With my second, I lost a large amount of blood resulting in a transfusion and the D&C was preformed immediately.
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Jperry86
by on May. 4, 2012 at 6:50 PM
I have had natural miscarriages three times. My son, now 2 months had no heartbeat at 9 weeks. My doc recommended a dnc and I told her that I would wait it out. I'm glad I did. He is obviously NOT a miscarried child. I would wait it out a week or two, and if you haven't begun miscarrying yet, go back to the doc for a second check.
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