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It bothers me when my dh see's my daughters girly bits.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Let me start out with, I trust my DH, and I know he isn't a pedophile, and doesn't look at or think about her girly bits that way.

But the way i was raised my dad was never allowed to change diapers or be in the bath ( he wasn't a weirdo either, just the way my mom was also raised.) 

everytime she poops it gets all in her girly bits, which i have to spread apart and clean out, and it just weirds me out for him to stand there, holding her legs for me ( she has blow outs, so one holds the legs, while the other wipes it off) watching to make sure i get it all out.

I don't know why on earth it bothers me so much, but it does, to the point i try really hard to cover it with the wipe while i am cleaning it.

I am TERRIFIED of anything bad or emotionally damaging happening to her, and i am suffering from PPD, and PPA, do you think this could be causing it?

I also don't like my MIL changing her either, but it bothers me slightly less than DH seeing her stuff.

I hate it, and i wish i could just feel normal, there is nothing weird about a dad bathing his child or changing his child and i can't understand why it makes me feel so uncomfortable.

it is so irrational.

has anyone else felt this way?

Posted by Anonymous on May. 4, 2012 at 8:45 PM
Replies (51-58):
by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:30 PM
1 mom liked this
I just realized that you calling them girly bits shows how disconnected you are with sexuality.
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by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:30 PM

Not me, but I understand what you are saying. The only thing I can think of is maybe getting some counceling for it. Not saying anything mean just sometimes it helps to have someone that can give you helpful advise. Good luck hon. Stay strong. I know you trust your DH.

by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:30 PM

Is he her bio dad??

by Anonymous 13 on May. 4, 2012 at 9:32 PM
I feel that way, and my daughter hasn't been born yet!!! But I was molested. While I hate meds I have no problem getting therapy, but in the mean time I'm honest with DH about my irrational fear and he's agreed to let me change all poop diapers. Being honest and up front about it helps a lot!
by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:33 PM

by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:36 PM

Hmm... I'm sorry :(.  That's really sad.  Can't imagine what you're going through.  Maybe you should talk to someone about it like a therapist, especially if your concern stems from sexual abuse.  Your husband isn't doing anything wrong and it can't be good for him either thinking that you feel that way.  

by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:37 PM
When my son was first learning to use the potty, he would sit but is so developmentally delayed that we couldn't get him to understand how to hold himself down so it wouldn't go everywhere. In order to get him too, I had to take his hand and physically show him how. It was one of the most uncomfortable feelings I have ever encountered with my kids. I felt like I was molesting him. I am a survivor of severe sexual abuse as well. So I think I get it. It made me feel sick. I talked to my therapist about it and worked through a lot of it. The great thing is ds finaly understands now and that isn't necessary anymore. You should find a counselor seriously
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by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2012 at 9:37 PM

He is her Daddy. It is okay for him to see them, clean them, etc etc.  He might need a little advice in the beginning to do it properly, since he isn't made that way. But just relax.  His brain does not process her "girly bits" any different than it needing to be cleaned etc.  My dh was afraid he'd hurt out middle dd when she was first born if he did it the wrong way. I explained how etc, he never looked back.  Now that they are older I supervise baths or what not if need be, because of their need for modesty. Has nothing to do with him. Just as with my son I have not seen his "boy bits" for a long time. Not because of anything other than his need for modesty.

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