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I went to mediation yesterday and I was talking to my lawyer I do not wish to put my BD on child support but they said I have no choice in the matter once they go through court it automatically assigned when dealing with a time sharing custody case.

Can anyone fill me in on this we have not come to any terms yet seeing they told him he has to do his DNA test before anything decided.

 

Can I refuse to put him on child support or do i have to take it to the court.

I live in florida

by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:09 PM
Replies (11-20):
demlilkit
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:22 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

Why do you not want cs? He helped make a baby, he needs to help pay for him/her


Because I been there I do not want to fight over money for the next 18 years and seeing him get in trouble over something so small as money not woth it. He a good father and I dont need the relationship we have ruined over it,.

DannieLou
by Mockingjay on May. 5, 2012 at 2:25 PM

 Depending on your state, you might be able to agree to a lesser amount if you appeal to the judge. I believe that if you come to an agreement with the mediator and don't actually go to trial in front of the judge, you can put in whatever terms you want. That's how it was with my ex-husband and I. Only, I wouldn't agree to his terms, so the judge ordered support. :( (he was willing to let me forgo it, but I wanted my babies) Anywho, find out what the guidlines are in your state. I live in MO and my ex is in FL, so I know those state's rules.

Tea4Tas
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:26 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting demlilkit:

 

Quoting Anonymous:

i think you can request to not have child support added, but i'm not sure how it is in your state. definitely ask around. if anything else, you can always get the child support and either save the money for your DD's college fund, or pull the money out and give back to him.


I was thinking if they do put him on child support I would give it back,.. I dont need his money and he is strugging on his own already... I make 3 times as much as he does and living well. My lawyer said it is his obligation to pay for his child. I just want him to be with her not be forced into something.

Child support is based on both parents income. So whatever he is ordered to pay willbe reduced because of your income. Nor do you have to (in some states) get a garnishment order. He can simply give you a check every week or month or whatever. You can cash it and keep the money or give it back, your choice .

And if he is a good Father he will want to contribute.  Now if you need him to do some child care, you can pay him for that...

epoh
by The Enzyme Helicase on May. 5, 2012 at 2:26 PM
This.

Quoting Tea4Tas:

Legally, in order to ever ever ever get any kind of federal or state assistance, you have to file for child support.


Once the courts are involved in this, you have no options, really. Oh and visitation is entirely different-so even if you do NOT get child support, or claim for it, he can still get visitation.

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demlilkit
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:27 PM


Quoting epoh:

This.

Quoting Tea4Tas:

Legally, in order to ever ever ever get any kind of federal or state assistance, you have to file for child support.


Once the courts are involved in this, you have no options, really. Oh and visitation is entirely different-so even if you do NOT get child support, or claim for it, he can still get visitation.


I dont get nor want state assistance. I make enough on my own.

demlilkit
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:28 PM


Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting demlilkit:

 

Quoting Anonymous:

i think you can request to not have child support added, but i'm not sure how it is in your state. definitely ask around. if anything else, you can always get the child support and either save the money for your DD's college fund, or pull the money out and give back to him.


I was thinking if they do put him on child support I would give it back,.. I dont need his money and he is strugging on his own already... I make 3 times as much as he does and living well. My lawyer said it is his obligation to pay for his child. I just want him to be with her not be forced into something.

Child support is based on both parents income. So whatever he is ordered to pay willbe reduced because of your income. Nor do you have to (in some states) get a garnishment order. He can simply give you a check every week or month or whatever. You can cash it and keep the money or give it back, your choice .

And if he is a good Father he will want to contribute.  Now if you need him to do some child care, you can pay him for that...


He helps out already... Without being forced to I do not see why I need to put an order on him when he is helping out any why he can now.

Tea4Tas
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:29 PM


Quoting demlilkit:

 

Quoting epoh:

This.

Quoting Tea4Tas:

Legally, in order to ever ever ever get any kind of federal or state assistance, you have to file for child support.


Once the courts are involved in this, you have no options, really. Oh and visitation is entirely different-so even if you do NOT get child support, or claim for it, he can still get visitation.


I dont get nor want state assistance. I make enough on my own.

But it is his responsability also to help support his child. Be it watching the child so you can work, or cash.  And you can never tell if you MIGHT need it.

I makle a 6 figure income, and my ex pays child support-I didn't have my children alone, and i shouldn't bear the entire cost of raising them either.

SDarvasi
by Sarah Berri ♥ on May. 5, 2012 at 2:29 PM

I'm so happy to see you're taking steps in the right direction and you seem to be happier! =)


As for your siuation...it's the same here in Canada. If you sign up for assisstance, they need to put in an order for the father of your kids to pay child support. Or if you're doing a custody arrangement rhoguh court. Needless to say, it doesn't mean the father is going to pay anything. But you need to let your BD know what the deal is so he is aware and not caught off guard. You need to have support financially...so abide by the rules, I say, and do what you gotta do to keep you and your LO well taken care of. =)

Quoting demlilkit:


Quoting ButterMeUp:

I'm not help :/

Bump for your cute little girl :]


Thank you I need to  update the picture she gotten bigger.


demlilkit
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:30 PM


Quoting DannieLou:

 Depending on your state, you might be able to agree to a lesser amount if you appeal to the judge. I believe that if you come to an agreement with the mediator and don't actually go to trial in front of the judge, you can put in whatever terms you want. That's how it was with my ex-husband and I. Only, I wouldn't agree to his terms, so the judge ordered support. :( (he was willing to let me forgo it, but I wanted my babies) Anywho, find out what the guidlines are in your state. I live in MO and my ex is in FL, so I know those state's rules.


I live in florida. I dont want to put him on child support but my lawyer making it seem like I do and he is mad. I think I am just going to request to see the judge and make my appeal there. I want the visitation but I dont need the money I make enough by myself.

Tea4Tas
by on May. 5, 2012 at 2:32 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting demlilkit:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting demlilkit:

 

Quoting Anonymous:

i think you can request to not have child support added, but i'm not sure how it is in your state. definitely ask around. if anything else, you can always get the child support and either save the money for your DD's college fund, or pull the money out and give back to him.


I was thinking if they do put him on child support I would give it back,.. I dont need his money and he is strugging on his own already... I make 3 times as much as he does and living well. My lawyer said it is his obligation to pay for his child. I just want him to be with her not be forced into something.

Child support is based on both parents income. So whatever he is ordered to pay willbe reduced because of your income. Nor do you have to (in some states) get a garnishment order. He can simply give you a check every week or month or whatever. You can cash it and keep the money or give it back, your choice .

And if he is a good Father he will want to contribute.  Now if you need him to do some child care, you can pay him for that...


He helps out already... Without being forced to I do not see why I need to put an order on him when he is helping out any why he can now.

But a CS order gives him credit legally for what he is already doing.  Let's say 2 years from now you get laid off. You apply for insurance for your child-at THAT point they will go after him-and order back pay-you saying-he helps me out won't stop that.
A child support order helps BOTH of you out, and if you want, you can hand him back however much of it you choose to.

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