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I will never breastfeed my children.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I want to, I really do, and I may even be able to.. but I'm not going to.

I have Polands Syndrome. Which is the absence of the pectoralis major on one side. The left side, for me. When I was 16 I had an expander put in my chest, and when I was 17 I got an implant on my left side.

I have researched breastfeeding with Polands Syndrome.. there isn't much information on it, because it is a very rare condition, but I found some. Almost every mother on there who breastfed with their implant said that breastfeeding left them looking worse than before they had surgery. I can't do that. I remember what it was like having one size C breast and one completely flat side. It was horrible.. once I finally had surgery it was amazing! It changed my life! I never want to be so uneven and off again :(. I also don't want to undo thousands of dollars of appointments and surgery.

Even not breastfeeding with my first I am a little uneven.. as my right side is saggier than my left because it isn't an implant. I would love to get surgery to lift my right side back up when I'm done having kids.. but don't want to go through the whole thing with my already exsisting implant.

So there you have it. I feel guilty, and kind of like a sucky mom because half of the reason I won't do it is cosmetic.

But I know I'll probably never breastfeed.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 5, 2012 at 2:35 PM
Replies (191-200):
areyouatroll
by on May. 6, 2012 at 1:47 AM
The natural weaning process allows your breast to 'fill back up' with fatty tissue. Weaning at 15 months did not allow for that.


Quoting cklamour:

I beg to differ. I went from an A cup to C cup when I was pregnant my son. Nursed for 15 months and when engorgement came in, a D cup. That only lasted a couple of days. My point is, my son demolished my breasts lol! It took months for my breasts to look normal AFTER I nursed. They looked like deflated balloons lmao!



Quoting Lynette:

it's pregnancy, not breastfeeding that makes breasts sag.



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Aadensma
by on May. 6, 2012 at 1:48 AM
Obama said it once awhile back. He's tryin to help people with their vocabulary...lol

Quoting Anonymous:

Is is the new most overused word here on cafe-mom.




Quoting Anonymous:

Sanctimonious, you've been using that one a lot lately. Is that on your kids vocabulary list this week or something?






Quoting Bethsunshine:

I don't recall ever reading any studies proving that there is some kind of "I'm a better mother than you" chemical which is excreted in breastmilk. There must be something like that though, based on the sanctimonious attitudes of some of the women on here. I must not have made that chemical when I was nursing.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on May. 6, 2012 at 3:00 AM
Oh shut up you self righteous, judgemental bf nazi. You go right ahead and pull your hair out! I feel the same way when people call other moms selfish, because they didn't bf. you dont know why they made that decission, you just automaticlly judge.

Quoting Anonymous:

I can't STAND when people say their kids are happy and healthy when they weren't bf and that they know other babies who were bf and were sick a lot. It makes me want to rip my hair out in chunks. You make it sounds as if a baby who wasn't bf is a miracle because they're happy and have satisfactory health. Duh. No one says that not bf means a child is doomed to being sickly and not have happiness. And no one says a bf baby is never going to get sick, so that doesn't prove anything for your argument. Even though your boys may be happy and healthy, they are more at risk for certain health issues for the rest of their life, as are you. You are more likely to development certain cancers and health problems. So sure, don't bf because you didn't feel like doing the work. Look at all that you and your boys will miss out on now, because you made a selfish decision. Www.promom.org/101

Quoting Anonymous:

I chose not to breastfeed for no other reason than it was my choice. You don't have to have a reason not to... it is personal.

My boys are happy and healthy kids... my sister breastfed and her kids were always sick. As long as you are caring foor your child, that is what matters.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on May. 6, 2012 at 3:07 AM
That is a giant load of propaganda crap fed to women to try and get more of them to breast feed.

Quoting Anonymous:

They appear perfectly healthy NOW, but down the road may be a different story. Girls for example, are more likely to develop breast cancer, ovarian cancer, and osteoporosis if they weren't bf. Same with women who don't bf their own children. You not only take away those defenses for your kids, but also make yourself more likely to develop health issues. Many of these things are hidden for many years and then happen down the road.




Quoting bluedolly01:

OR NOT.... Both my children and the majority of kids we know and play with were formula fed (not by choice in my case but that's irrelevant here) and NONE of these children have ANY of the issues that you claim. They are all perfectly healthy kids who don't get sick anymore than the children we know who were BF and none have allergies.





You are the type of BF'ing mum who everyone b!tch's about. You have no clue what the OP has been through other than a few lines on the internet and you make like she is harming her children. Get off your high horse for 5 minutes and stop judging.






Quoting lalaboosh:

You do realize that the cost of formula is huge and the health of your kids will forever be affected by this, right? You'll possibly give them allergies to diary, they may get sick more often, they may have weight issues. That all will cost more than fixing your boobs. It's important to think about all the aspects before making a choice.


kiralyn
by on May. 6, 2012 at 3:07 AM
I'm sorry. Did you know you can feed your baby completely from just one breast? It will make enough. So, just something to consider. If you wanted to have your right breast lifted anyways, you could always do that after using it to breastfeed, then both would be even :)
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briellesmomma
by Velvet on May. 6, 2012 at 3:09 AM
This

Quoting MamaLub:

As long as you feed your kid something.
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Racer15
by Bronze Member on May. 6, 2012 at 3:15 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm really sorry, that must be so hard. I can't imagine being such an ass that I'd feel like walking all over someone that has a rare condition to make myself feel superior. Lots of women opt not to breastfeed because they just don't want to, OP is opting not to because of an awful health condition that she will have to live with forever. Get over yourselves. It must be super easy to tell someone off when you were born with no issues and developed breasts like most women without complications.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on May. 6, 2012 at 12:20 PM
It IS selfish when they didn't do it simply because they didn't feel like it. Call it what you want. I call it selfish. Maybe it struck a nerve with you because your kids had crap in a can?


Quoting Anonymous:

Oh shut up you self righteous, judgemental bf nazi. You go right ahead and pull your hair out! I feel the same way when people call other moms selfish, because they didn't bf. you dont know why they made that decission, you just automaticlly judge.



Quoting Anonymous:

I can't STAND when people say their kids are happy and healthy when they weren't bf and that they know other babies who were bf and were sick a lot. It makes me want to rip my hair out in chunks. You make it sounds as if a baby who wasn't bf is a miracle because they're happy and have satisfactory health. Duh. No one says that not bf means a child is doomed to being sickly and not have happiness. And no one says a bf baby is never going to get sick, so that doesn't prove anything for your argument. Even though your boys may be happy and healthy, they are more at risk for certain health issues for the rest of their life, as are you. You are more likely to development certain cancers and health problems. So sure, don't bf because you didn't feel like doing the work. Look at all that you and your boys will miss out on now, because you made a selfish decision. Www.promom.org/101

Quoting Anonymous:

I chose not to breastfeed for no other reason than it was my choice. You don't have to have a reason not to... it is personal.

My boys are happy and healthy kids... my sister breastfed and her kids were always sick. As long as you are caring foor your child, that is what matters.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on May. 6, 2012 at 12:23 PM
What is a load of crap? You're very uneducated aren't you? Do you really think that breast milk can't possibly have amazing health benefits? Are you even aware of what's in breast milk? All the protective antibodies and digestive track coatings? You sound like an ignorant, angry mom who doesn't want to hear any truthful facts. It isn't a load of crap. You're just stupid.

Quoting Anonymous:

That is a giant load of propaganda crap fed to women to try and get more of them to breast feed.

Quoting Anonymous:

They appear perfectly healthy NOW, but down the road may be a different story. Girls for example, are more likely to develop breast cancer, ovarian cancer, and osteoporosis if they weren't bf. Same with women who don't bf their own children. You not only take away those defenses for your kids, but also make yourself more likely to develop health issues. Many of these things are hidden for many years and then happen down the road.





Quoting bluedolly01:

OR NOT.... Both my children and the majority of kids we know and play with were formula fed (not by choice in my case but that's irrelevant here) and NONE of these children have ANY of the issues that you claim. They are all perfectly healthy kids who don't get sick anymore than the children we know who were BF and none have allergies.







You are the type of BF'ing mum who everyone b!tch's about. You have no clue what the OP has been through other than a few lines on the internet and you make like she is harming her children. Get off your high horse for 5 minutes and stop judging.







Quoting lalaboosh:

You do realize that the cost of formula is huge and the health of your kids will forever be affected by this, right? You'll possibly give them allergies to diary, they may get sick more often, they may have weight issues. That all will cost more than fixing your boobs. It's important to think about all the aspects before making a choice.






Posted on CafeMom Mobile
SpikedMango
by on May. 6, 2012 at 12:31 PM
1 mom liked this

That's good that you research things so thoroughly. You're right. Most women don't. They believe what they want.

I was a formula fed baby and my daughter is also. I know that it's not as healthy, but in our case, breastfeeding would have hurt the family unit as a whole. I know that sounds crazy, but it's just what happened with us. I COULD have BF physically, but it just wasn't best for the whole family. I don't feel guilty because FF didn't give all the benefits of BF, but it wasn't going to hurt her either. I fully support BFing 100%. But I hold a very unpopular opinion nowdays that doesn't hold one family member above all the others. And I completely understand where people would disagree, and don't think any less of them. But all of us are happy and functioning and we love each other.:)

And I don't know if you saw it, but my first reply to you was not meant to be catty at all. It was more of a humor thing. :)

Quoting Angeldolphine:

I do feel strongly about breastfeeding. I just "had" to find out everything about it, so I get caught up in it. Misinformation frustrates the heck out of me because it really is not the same. I find it comes from a lot of medical professionals and also other women who give incorrect advice. My goal is to help mothers who want to breastfeed, because she will feel guilty if she is unable to do so, even generations later. But, I want all women to know the differences so they can make the best choice for their children. Most of what I say is not for OP because I believe she has already made her choice for her, but for other women.

I completely agree with your second comment. I am a lactivist but at the same time a feminist. I am as much for the rights of women to choose what to do with their bodies. It may seem that I am not, because of how passionate about breastfeeding, but it's really the misinformation I care about. I really want mothers to know the differences and have accurate information. So many times, I think they convince themselves or allow themselves to be convinced that it's just as good, because all mothers want to do what is best for their child. But then, they tell this to other women. It's not true. I feel the same way for abortions. I am pro-choice because it is the woman's right to decide what is best for her body and for her and she should be allowed to make that decision BUT just like with breastfeeding, I want them to know ALL of the information. I see the same thing with formula. They believe it is just as good as breastmilk, but that's not true.  Same thing happens with abortions, they don't  want to know what is really happening with the embryo or fetus. They believe that it will be as before, that it's a part of their bodies, which is not true. They don't know the possible consequences of their decision like the emotional impact. Or the long term affects. My goal is that women understand what happens with their bodies. I find most won't research it, but I do, so I use my research to educate women. That's my passion. My friend says I just love babies. I think she's right :)

Quoting SpikedMango:

I get and respect that. :)  You obviously feel very strongly about it.

I have a soft spot for mommies who are pressured into doing things that might not be the best for them. We have to look out for our own health too, ya know? The unit is more important than the individual, kwim? :)

Quoting Angeldolphine:

I agree with what you are saying. I'm just making sure that the facts are known, that there is a difference.

Quoting SpikedMango:

Yes, yes, keep going. The millions of us who were formula fed and sitting on ventilators and can't possible be healthy are all ears, lol. 

Breast milk is great. But, the obvious and rare cases aside, formula vs breast milk doesn't make a HUGE difference in quality of life. There are healthy breast fed babies and healthy formula babies. No, I don't KNOW that her baby won't be hurt by formula. That's a ridiculous assumption. Just like I don't KNOW if I'll be hit by a car tomorrow. But, based on the fact that formula doesn't CAUSE a hazard to a child's health, she doesn't need to feel guilty for choosing not to breast feed. Her self esteem and her prior experience with her syndrome are just as important as the choice on whether to breast feed or not. 


God, I love Cafemom. 

Quoting Angeldolphine:

Um...you don't know that her baby won't be damaged by formula. It does raise the risk of SIDS by eight percent, it does raise obesity rates because a baby's stomach gets stretched out. Unlike formula, breastmilk adapts in fat and nutrient content, so bottles are not sopposed to be any larger then 3 ounces. Not only that, but it provides no immunity protection, so formula leaves the baby defenceless against any bacterial or viral invasion. Breastmilk provides the perfect balance of flora in the gut which is the first line of defence against bacteria and viruses. The babies are actually sopposed to get sick so that the mother's body can "teach" them how to fight. Not to mention, formula is missing over 100 ingredients that are found in breastmilk. So, as I said, you can't know that formula won't hurt her child.

Donar milk is far better, but there is less of the immune protection since it's not directly from the breast. When it's from the breast, the saliva tells the mother what antibodies to make and what nutrition is needed. But it's MUCH better then formula that is processed and has chemicals.

Quoting SpikedMango:

You don't have to feel badly about anything. Feeling good about yourself is important, and your child won't be damaged by formula or donor milk. 







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