I want to, I really do, and I may even be able to.. but I'm not going to.
I have Polands Syndrome. Which is the absence of the pectoralis major on one side. The left side, for me. When I was 16 I had an expander put in my chest, and when I was 17 I got an implant on my left side.
I have researched breastfeeding with Polands Syndrome.. there isn't much information on it, because it is a very rare condition, but I found some. Almost every mother on there who breastfed with their implant said that breastfeeding left them looking worse than before they had surgery. I can't do that. I remember what it was like having one size C breast and one completely flat side. It was horrible.. once I finally had surgery it was amazing! It changed my life! I never want to be so uneven and off again :(. I also don't want to undo thousands of dollars of appointments and surgery.
Even not breastfeeding with my first I am a little uneven.. as my right side is saggier than my left because it isn't an implant. I would love to get surgery to lift my right side back up when I'm done having kids.. but don't want to go through the whole thing with my already exsisting implant.
So there you have it. I feel guilty, and kind of like a sucky mom because half of the reason I won't do it is cosmetic.
But I know I'll probably never breastfeed.