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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Why have a lot of kids if you can't afford to do things with them? revised

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Personally, I have 4 kids. To many, it's a lot.. but honestly, I would love more. HOWEVER, financially, 4 is our limit.

I get sad (and sometimes mad) when I hear of families not being able to do things with their kids because they can't afford it and then complain about it. (i.e. occasionally go out to dinner, go on vacations, etc).

I know all of that is not what is most important in life as long as the kids are happy and healthy...and I know there are things that are fun and FREE (I do these things too.. that's how we can afford to go on vacations, visit amusement parks, etc.)  but I think it's sad to have to tell your kids they can't do something (all the time) because they can't afford it.

Am I being irrational?!

Posted by Anonymous on May. 5, 2012 at 4:05 PM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 5, 2012 at 4:24 PM
1 mom liked this

yes some luxury is nice. but if you get it all the time, that can get boring. when I look back on my childhood, I don't remember all the times I went out to dinner w/ my family or the trips we took to amusement parks. I remember all the times we spent together as a family just hanging out at home or at a park. the family walks and bikerides we took together. those are the memories that stand out the most to me and that mean the most to me. I never found it boring. of course I loved the few times they treated us to a family vacation to an amusement park or whatever. but I don't remember those times as fondly. but everybody is different and they have different priorities. if you have the money to treat your family to stuff like that on a regular basis and like to do it, go for it. do whatever works for you and your family. but I certainly don't find it wrong or sad for families that can't afford such luxuries.

Quoting Anonymous:

oh, I know they're not necessary.... but what's life without SOME luxury?? Boring. lol.. There are only a FEW things left in the world that are free.. family game nights, going to the park, having picnics... it gets old, I'm sure. I go crazy if I can't get out of my town and do something outside of the norm.

Quoting Anonymous:

none of the stuff you mentioned above is necessary. its a luxury. not a necessity. sure it nice to be able to do that stuff every once in awhile. but a child is not gonna suffer and have an unhappy childhood just cuz they can't do stuff like that w/ their family. there is lots of other stuff you can do w/ your family that is just as good and suffice.



ShannyLouisiany
by on May. 5, 2012 at 4:25 PM
agreed.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on May. 5, 2012 at 4:25 PM
2 moms liked this
Wow really I have 4 kids and we take one vacation every year as far as eating out I cook at home.... Sometimes we eat out!!!!!
There is lots of free things you can do with your kids like go to te park!!!! Have a bonfire... Sounds to me your all about buying your kids!!!! And FYI we do have the money we just choose to spend it wisely!!!!
FL2AK
by on May. 5, 2012 at 4:25 PM
1 mom liked this
I feel the same way you do and we also stopped at 4. We like to travel and have fun. 4 children allows us to have the lifestyle that we want to have. I love making memories with our kids. Sure some things are free or cheap, but many are not.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 5, 2012 at 4:25 PM
1 mom liked this

I know :) We've personally had hardships; DH was without a job for almost 2 years!
My whole point was why keep having more kids if you couldn't afford them in the first place and having hardships already.... and then complain about it. That's what bugs me.

Quoting Anonymous:

No this stuff isnt needed and yes it does suck having to tell your kids you cant go do something cause not enough money. But if they are healthy and happy yes that is what matters most. People can have kids that can afford it and then something happen like they lose their job or something. Just cause your financially set at the time you have them doesnt guarantee you will be for the rest of their lives. sometimes things happen and it sucks


briansmommy2010
by Ruby Member on May. 5, 2012 at 4:26 PM
1 mom liked this

Yeah, I would say you're being pretty irrational. Getting to go on vacations and go out to dinner is not a necessity. As long as the kids have everything they need, you should back off.

lapcounter
by Queen Mom on May. 5, 2012 at 4:26 PM
Very well said!!! I also feel maybe some of those saying those are not the most important things are also maybe some of the ones that cannot afford to do it. My girl's still talk about trips to the condo with the boat, the helicopter ride, the trips to the zoo it's family memories that were fun.

Quoting Anonymous:

I agree. Children want and need more then food and shelter. Even if you can provide the basics, you shouldnt have more kids unless you can go above and beyond. Kids deserve to have memory making life experience, and usually those cost money. Vacations, summer camp, sports, any extracurricular activities, not to mention a great education (usually private school) and college, they are all expensive but children deserve it. They are only a child once, and you should make the most of it.
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motherslove82
by Ruby Member on May. 5, 2012 at 4:26 PM
We have 4 kids, too. We can do some of those things, but not all. Sometimes it's good for kids to understand that things cost money and they can't just have/do whatever they want. I'm sure they would rather be alive and not have "lessons" of some kind every day of the week.
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briansmommy2010
by Ruby Member on May. 5, 2012 at 4:27 PM
1 mom liked this

Not everybody wants to be a SAHM, nor do they have to.

And FYI-as a working mom, I do raise my son, thank you very much.

Quoting RhondaVeggie:

Stuff like vacations and amusement parks aren't important but it always puzzles me when people try so hard to get pregnant and then complain that they can't afford to stay home and raise the kid. What's the point?


Namaste17
by on May. 5, 2012 at 4:29 PM
It depends on what you consider to be important. For me, I always wanted to travel with my kids so I only had 2 because of the expense. But, not everybody wants the same things.
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