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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Why have a lot of kids if you can't afford to do things with them? revised

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Personally, I have 4 kids. To many, it's a lot.. but honestly, I would love more. HOWEVER, financially, 4 is our limit.

I get sad (and sometimes mad) when I hear of families not being able to do things with their kids because they can't afford it and then complain about it. (i.e. occasionally go out to dinner, go on vacations, etc).

I know all of that is not what is most important in life as long as the kids are happy and healthy...and I know there are things that are fun and FREE (I do these things too.. that's how we can afford to go on vacations, visit amusement parks, etc.)  but I think it's sad to have to tell your kids they can't do something (all the time) because they can't afford it.

Am I being irrational?!

Posted by Anonymous on May. 5, 2012 at 4:05 PM
Replies (241-250):
momto3infl
by Gold Member on May. 6, 2012 at 7:46 AM

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting momto3infl:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting popomill:

You know what, when I was growing up all I ever heard was no we can't afford to go on vacation, no we can't afford to do that blah blah blah, and my parents didn't even take us out to do things for free (all they did was work for the house we eventually got). I grew up fine. As for me and my son? We don't really have the money to go on vacation or go out to dinner all the time but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have had my kid because I don't have the money to do that stuff with him. In life it's not all about going on vacations, going out to eat, or driving long distances to see things (especially with the price of gas). It's about spending time together as a family. If in your family you just so happen to go to every museum and zoo that costs money, go out to eat all the time and go to the movies that's great, but just because I take my son to the movies once a year for his birthday (well, this year I'm going to take him twice over the summer and he has already seen the Lorax), go out to eat maybe once a month because money is tight and never go to a place that you have to pay to get in to, doesn't make me a bad mom. You know what I am going to do instead? I'm going to go hiking in the nearby forest preserve every week and teach him about how the sun makes the grass and trees grow. I'll go to the beach and play in the sand (while enjoying my free parking). I'll take him to the park every day, go to all of the free (or almost free) events in our town all summer, and guess what? Not once am I going to tell him that we can't do something fun because it costs too much because there are PLENTY of things we can do that are free, and he will never know the difference!

That works great with younger children, and in fact when my kids were younger it is JUST what we did (mostly) for a 2 year old a lake is as good as the ocean (better indeed).  We started out staying on the water on the ocean side-figured out pretty quick that while it was nicer for the Adults, it sucked for the kids. So we cut the costs in half and rented on the sound side, which was much better for the kids when they were young...and not as good when they got older.

It's pretty easy to see who has very young kids on here, and who has older kids.  Under the age of 10, most kids are content with whatever you give them-and the park and lake are as good as a trip to Yellowstone or the ocean.  When they get older, they want to do more and different things.

It's a common misconception that kids get "spoiled". It's perfectly possible to give your kids things and NOT spoil them.  My youngest wanted an Ipad. He got one for Christmas from the whole family. Sure it was almost $900 but everyone chipped in, and I am paying for his dataplan .

He wants a hedgehog.  They are about $175-$275.  He is saving up his money as we speak and the goal is to get one in September.  i could simply buy him one if I wanted to, but that isn't how it works. AFTER he buys it, I will take responsability for the food and he will do the daily care.

People get amazed at the amount of work my kids do in the house (for their allowences) I clean my room and bathroom and do my laundry and usually my youngest childs laundry.  And all of the grocery shopping (off of the family list)

The lawn mowing trash taking out cooking (most meals) vaccuming floor cleaning dishwasher filling and emptying table setting dusting lawn raking dog walking dog feeding  bathroom cleaning floor scrubbing and all of that is done by the kids.
My oldest makes $75 a week for his aftershool brother sitting and his share of the chores. My youngest gets $25 for listening to his brother, and his share of the chores.  They both can lose their allowence if they don't complete what they are supposed to. 

 I disagree with what I highlighted.  My kids are 14, 11 and 8 and they dont ask to do bigger trips or more expensive things as they age.  They are content with what we can give them.


So they don't care that they can't go where their friends go? They are fine with staying home while their friends go to camp, Disney world and the beach?  IME that would be most  unusual. Most children want to be able to do what their friends do..be it going to the movies, or going to camp.

 Well none of their friends go to camp, we live 15min from the beach we can do that if they wanted (we go once a year for 2hrs-they dont care too much for it), and Disney is over hyped (90min from that).  They get to do movies, that doesnt take much out of our budget-but the others not a big deal to them-my kids are the more unique and unusal from their peers.

momto3infl
by Gold Member on May. 6, 2012 at 7:51 AM

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting momto3infl:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting popomill:

You know what, when I was growing up all I ever heard was no we can't afford to go on vacation, no we can't afford to do that blah blah blah, and my parents didn't even take us out to do things for free (all they did was work for the house we eventually got). I grew up fine. As for me and my son? We don't really have the money to go on vacation or go out to dinner all the time but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have had my kid because I don't have the money to do that stuff with him. In life it's not all about going on vacations, going out to eat, or driving long distances to see things (especially with the price of gas). It's about spending time together as a family. If in your family you just so happen to go to every museum and zoo that costs money, go out to eat all the time and go to the movies that's great, but just because I take my son to the movies once a year for his birthday (well, this year I'm going to take him twice over the summer and he has already seen the Lorax), go out to eat maybe once a month because money is tight and never go to a place that you have to pay to get in to, doesn't make me a bad mom. You know what I am going to do instead? I'm going to go hiking in the nearby forest preserve every week and teach him about how the sun makes the grass and trees grow. I'll go to the beach and play in the sand (while enjoying my free parking). I'll take him to the park every day, go to all of the free (or almost free) events in our town all summer, and guess what? Not once am I going to tell him that we can't do something fun because it costs too much because there are PLENTY of things we can do that are free, and he will never know the difference!

That works great with younger children, and in fact when my kids were younger it is JUST what we did (mostly) for a 2 year old a lake is as good as the ocean (better indeed).  We started out staying on the water on the ocean side-figured out pretty quick that while it was nicer for the Adults, it sucked for the kids. So we cut the costs in half and rented on the sound side, which was much better for the kids when they were young...and not as good when they got older.

It's pretty easy to see who has very young kids on here, and who has older kids.  Under the age of 10, most kids are content with whatever you give them-and the park and lake are as good as a trip to Yellowstone or the ocean.  When they get older, they want to do more and different things.

It's a common misconception that kids get "spoiled". It's perfectly possible to give your kids things and NOT spoil them.  My youngest wanted an Ipad. He got one for Christmas from the whole family. Sure it was almost $900 but everyone chipped in, and I am paying for his dataplan .

He wants a hedgehog.  They are about $175-$275.  He is saving up his money as we speak and the goal is to get one in September.  i could simply buy him one if I wanted to, but that isn't how it works. AFTER he buys it, I will take responsability for the food and he will do the daily care.

People get amazed at the amount of work my kids do in the house (for their allowences) I clean my room and bathroom and do my laundry and usually my youngest childs laundry.  And all of the grocery shopping (off of the family list)

The lawn mowing trash taking out cooking (most meals) vaccuming floor cleaning dishwasher filling and emptying table setting dusting lawn raking dog walking dog feeding  bathroom cleaning floor scrubbing and all of that is done by the kids.
My oldest makes $75 a week for his aftershool brother sitting and his share of the chores. My youngest gets $25 for listening to his brother, and his share of the chores.  They both can lose their allowence if they don't complete what they are supposed to. 

 I disagree with what I highlighted.  My kids are 14, 11 and 8 and they dont ask to do bigger trips or more expensive things as they age.  They are content with what we can give them.

We plan big things once a year-if that. The rest of the year depends on budget, but I tell my kids this many times, also from a young age we have taught them about money and this part of it. I have three kids, would love more but know it is not financially sound, at the same time 3 stretches us, but I wouldnt change my life.

 

 

You are contradicting yourself. Your kids would LOVE to do other things, but understand that they can't.

That is NOT quite the same as content with what you give them-they UNDERSTAND why they can't do more, which isn't the same as NOT wanting to do more.

 

 They understand why not the amusement parks-but at the same time they know they are hyped we have worked one or two as family things during their life.  They are content because they know if there was something they wanted to do it may take time, but not a drop of a hat and even then it may not happen.  Like the kids have wanted to go see the West Coast-they know that will never happen until they do it on their own as an adult.

Tea4Tas
by on May. 6, 2012 at 8:03 AM


Quoting momto3infl:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting momto3infl:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting popomill:

You know what, when I was growing up all I ever heard was no we can't afford to go on vacation, no we can't afford to do that blah blah blah, and my parents didn't even take us out to do things for free (all they did was work for the house we eventually got). I grew up fine. As for me and my son? We don't really have the money to go on vacation or go out to dinner all the time but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have had my kid because I don't have the money to do that stuff with him. In life it's not all about going on vacations, going out to eat, or driving long distances to see things (especially with the price of gas). It's about spending time together as a family. If in your family you just so happen to go to every museum and zoo that costs money, go out to eat all the time and go to the movies that's great, but just because I take my son to the movies once a year for his birthday (well, this year I'm going to take him twice over the summer and he has already seen the Lorax), go out to eat maybe once a month because money is tight and never go to a place that you have to pay to get in to, doesn't make me a bad mom. You know what I am going to do instead? I'm going to go hiking in the nearby forest preserve every week and teach him about how the sun makes the grass and trees grow. I'll go to the beach and play in the sand (while enjoying my free parking). I'll take him to the park every day, go to all of the free (or almost free) events in our town all summer, and guess what? Not once am I going to tell him that we can't do something fun because it costs too much because there are PLENTY of things we can do that are free, and he will never know the difference!

That works great with younger children, and in fact when my kids were younger it is JUST what we did (mostly) for a 2 year old a lake is as good as the ocean (better indeed).  We started out staying on the water on the ocean side-figured out pretty quick that while it was nicer for the Adults, it sucked for the kids. So we cut the costs in half and rented on the sound side, which was much better for the kids when they were young...and not as good when they got older.

It's pretty easy to see who has very young kids on here, and who has older kids.  Under the age of 10, most kids are content with whatever you give them-and the park and lake are as good as a trip to Yellowstone or the ocean.  When they get older, they want to do more and different things.

It's a common misconception that kids get "spoiled". It's perfectly possible to give your kids things and NOT spoil them.  My youngest wanted an Ipad. He got one for Christmas from the whole family. Sure it was almost $900 but everyone chipped in, and I am paying for his dataplan .

He wants a hedgehog.  They are about $175-$275.  He is saving up his money as we speak and the goal is to get one in September.  i could simply buy him one if I wanted to, but that isn't how it works. AFTER he buys it, I will take responsability for the food and he will do the daily care.

People get amazed at the amount of work my kids do in the house (for their allowences) I clean my room and bathroom and do my laundry and usually my youngest childs laundry.  And all of the grocery shopping (off of the family list)

The lawn mowing trash taking out cooking (most meals) vaccuming floor cleaning dishwasher filling and emptying table setting dusting lawn raking dog walking dog feeding  bathroom cleaning floor scrubbing and all of that is done by the kids.
My oldest makes $75 a week for his aftershool brother sitting and his share of the chores. My youngest gets $25 for listening to his brother, and his share of the chores.  They both can lose their allowence if they don't complete what they are supposed to. 

 I disagree with what I highlighted.  My kids are 14, 11 and 8 and they dont ask to do bigger trips or more expensive things as they age.  They are content with what we can give them.

We plan big things once a year-if that. The rest of the year depends on budget, but I tell my kids this many times, also from a young age we have taught them about money and this part of it. I have three kids, would love more but know it is not financially sound, at the same time 3 stretches us, but I wouldnt change my life.

 

 

You are contradicting yourself. Your kids would LOVE to do other things, but understand that they can't.

That is NOT quite the same as content with what you give them-they UNDERSTAND why they can't do more, which isn't the same as NOT wanting to do more.

 

 They understand why not the amusement parks-but at the same time they know they are hyped we have worked one or two as family things during their life.  They are content because they know if there was something they wanted to do it may take time, but not a drop of a hat and even then it may not happen.  Like the kids have wanted to go see the West Coast-they know that will never happen until they do it on their own as an adult.

In other words your kids DO want to do things you cannot afford to do. Thanks for being honest.


 

Tea4Tas
by on May. 6, 2012 at 8:06 AM


Quoting momto3infl:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting momto3infl:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting popomill:

You know what, when I was growing up all I ever heard was no we can't afford to go on vacation, no we can't afford to do that blah blah blah, and my parents didn't even take us out to do things for free (all they did was work for the house we eventually got). I grew up fine. As for me and my son? We don't really have the money to go on vacation or go out to dinner all the time but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have had my kid because I don't have the money to do that stuff with him. In life it's not all about going on vacations, going out to eat, or driving long distances to see things (especially with the price of gas). It's about spending time together as a family. If in your family you just so happen to go to every museum and zoo that costs money, go out to eat all the time and go to the movies that's great, but just because I take my son to the movies once a year for his birthday (well, this year I'm going to take him twice over the summer and he has already seen the Lorax), go out to eat maybe once a month because money is tight and never go to a place that you have to pay to get in to, doesn't make me a bad mom. You know what I am going to do instead? I'm going to go hiking in the nearby forest preserve every week and teach him about how the sun makes the grass and trees grow. I'll go to the beach and play in the sand (while enjoying my free parking). I'll take him to the park every day, go to all of the free (or almost free) events in our town all summer, and guess what? Not once am I going to tell him that we can't do something fun because it costs too much because there are PLENTY of things we can do that are free, and he will never know the difference!

That works great with younger children, and in fact when my kids were younger it is JUST what we did (mostly) for a 2 year old a lake is as good as the ocean (better indeed).  We started out staying on the water on the ocean side-figured out pretty quick that while it was nicer for the Adults, it sucked for the kids. So we cut the costs in half and rented on the sound side, which was much better for the kids when they were young...and not as good when they got older.

It's pretty easy to see who has very young kids on here, and who has older kids.  Under the age of 10, most kids are content with whatever you give them-and the park and lake are as good as a trip to Yellowstone or the ocean.  When they get older, they want to do more and different things.

It's a common misconception that kids get "spoiled". It's perfectly possible to give your kids things and NOT spoil them.  My youngest wanted an Ipad. He got one for Christmas from the whole family. Sure it was almost $900 but everyone chipped in, and I am paying for his dataplan .

He wants a hedgehog.  They are about $175-$275.  He is saving up his money as we speak and the goal is to get one in September.  i could simply buy him one if I wanted to, but that isn't how it works. AFTER he buys it, I will take responsability for the food and he will do the daily care.

People get amazed at the amount of work my kids do in the house (for their allowences) I clean my room and bathroom and do my laundry and usually my youngest childs laundry.  And all of the grocery shopping (off of the family list)

The lawn mowing trash taking out cooking (most meals) vaccuming floor cleaning dishwasher filling and emptying table setting dusting lawn raking dog walking dog feeding  bathroom cleaning floor scrubbing and all of that is done by the kids.
My oldest makes $75 a week for his aftershool brother sitting and his share of the chores. My youngest gets $25 for listening to his brother, and his share of the chores.  They both can lose their allowence if they don't complete what they are supposed to. 

 I disagree with what I highlighted.  My kids are 14, 11 and 8 and they dont ask to do bigger trips or more expensive things as they age.  They are content with what we can give them.


So they don't care that they can't go where their friends go? They are fine with staying home while their friends go to camp, Disney world and the beach?  IME that would be most  unusual. Most children want to be able to do what their friends do..be it going to the movies, or going to camp.

 Well none of their friends go to camp, we live 15min from the beach we can do that if they wanted (we go once a year for 2hrs-they dont care too much for it), and Disney is over hyped (90min from that).  They get to do movies, that doesnt take much out of our budget-but the others not a big deal to them-my kids are the more unique and unusal from their peers.

I  see. I live in an expensive area, and kids DO go to camp, and to Europe, and to Asia and to the Carribean.  My kids also want to do things like that-not the same camps or places.

My wasbunds Grandparents came over from Italy. My oldest daughter is studying Italian in college, and wants to go there. I am pretty sure I will send her either next summer, or the summer after.

She is old enough to plan it out herself, so I will just give her a check for the expenses.

later.tater
by on May. 6, 2012 at 8:10 AM
I wouldn't say you're being irrational... more like ignorant, and maybe a little bit stupid.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
PestPatti
by on May. 6, 2012 at 8:11 AM
1 mom liked this


 Luxuaries don't equate to happiness.   It's your perception that it does.   My sons are 20 and 27, they talk about the family times we had together.  The WHERE was never as important as the WHO was there.  

momto3infl
by Gold Member on May. 6, 2012 at 8:13 AM

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting momto3infl:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting momto3infl:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting popomill:

You know what, when I was growing up all I ever heard was no we can't afford to go on vacation, no we can't afford to do that blah blah blah, and my parents didn't even take us out to do things for free (all they did was work for the house we eventually got). I grew up fine. As for me and my son? We don't really have the money to go on vacation or go out to dinner all the time but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have had my kid because I don't have the money to do that stuff with him. In life it's not all about going on vacations, going out to eat, or driving long distances to see things (especially with the price of gas). It's about spending time together as a family. If in your family you just so happen to go to every museum and zoo that costs money, go out to eat all the time and go to the movies that's great, but just because I take my son to the movies once a year for his birthday (well, this year I'm going to take him twice over the summer and he has already seen the Lorax), go out to eat maybe once a month because money is tight and never go to a place that you have to pay to get in to, doesn't make me a bad mom. You know what I am going to do instead? I'm going to go hiking in the nearby forest preserve every week and teach him about how the sun makes the grass and trees grow. I'll go to the beach and play in the sand (while enjoying my free parking). I'll take him to the park every day, go to all of the free (or almost free) events in our town all summer, and guess what? Not once am I going to tell him that we can't do something fun because it costs too much because there are PLENTY of things we can do that are free, and he will never know the difference!

That works great with younger children, and in fact when my kids were younger it is JUST what we did (mostly) for a 2 year old a lake is as good as the ocean (better indeed).  We started out staying on the water on the ocean side-figured out pretty quick that while it was nicer for the Adults, it sucked for the kids. So we cut the costs in half and rented on the sound side, which was much better for the kids when they were young...and not as good when they got older.

It's pretty easy to see who has very young kids on here, and who has older kids.  Under the age of 10, most kids are content with whatever you give them-and the park and lake are as good as a trip to Yellowstone or the ocean.  When they get older, they want to do more and different things.

It's a common misconception that kids get "spoiled". It's perfectly possible to give your kids things and NOT spoil them.  My youngest wanted an Ipad. He got one for Christmas from the whole family. Sure it was almost $900 but everyone chipped in, and I am paying for his dataplan .

He wants a hedgehog.  They are about $175-$275.  He is saving up his money as we speak and the goal is to get one in September.  i could simply buy him one if I wanted to, but that isn't how it works. AFTER he buys it, I will take responsability for the food and he will do the daily care.

People get amazed at the amount of work my kids do in the house (for their allowences) I clean my room and bathroom and do my laundry and usually my youngest childs laundry.  And all of the grocery shopping (off of the family list)

The lawn mowing trash taking out cooking (most meals) vaccuming floor cleaning dishwasher filling and emptying table setting dusting lawn raking dog walking dog feeding  bathroom cleaning floor scrubbing and all of that is done by the kids.
My oldest makes $75 a week for his aftershool brother sitting and his share of the chores. My youngest gets $25 for listening to his brother, and his share of the chores.  They both can lose their allowence if they don't complete what they are supposed to. 

 I disagree with what I highlighted.  My kids are 14, 11 and 8 and they dont ask to do bigger trips or more expensive things as they age.  They are content with what we can give them.

We plan big things once a year-if that. The rest of the year depends on budget, but I tell my kids this many times, also from a young age we have taught them about money and this part of it. I have three kids, would love more but know it is not financially sound, at the same time 3 stretches us, but I wouldnt change my life.

 

 

You are contradicting yourself. Your kids would LOVE to do other things, but understand that they can't.

That is NOT quite the same as content with what you give them-they UNDERSTAND why they can't do more, which isn't the same as NOT wanting to do more.

 

 They understand why not the amusement parks-but at the same time they know they are hyped we have worked one or two as family things during their life.  They are content because they know if there was something they wanted to do it may take time, but not a drop of a hat and even then it may not happen.  Like the kids have wanted to go see the West Coast-they know that will never happen until they do it on their own as an adult.

In other words your kids DO want to do things you cannot afford to do. Thanks for being honest.


 

 Yeah-but at the same time they dont ask for a lot of things.  They asked about west coast since their dad lived there many years when his dad was in Air Force.  Normally they dont ask to do what the cool thing is.

lovelove211
by Platinum Member on May. 6, 2012 at 8:15 AM



Quoting atyou:

going out to dinner...vacations....amusement parks and sports is absolutely not what is important in life. you said it yourself.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momto3infl
by Gold Member on May. 6, 2012 at 8:18 AM

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting momto3infl:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting momto3infl:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting popomill:

You know what, when I was growing up all I ever heard was no we can't afford to go on vacation, no we can't afford to do that blah blah blah, and my parents didn't even take us out to do things for free (all they did was work for the house we eventually got). I grew up fine. As for me and my son? We don't really have the money to go on vacation or go out to dinner all the time but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have had my kid because I don't have the money to do that stuff with him. In life it's not all about going on vacations, going out to eat, or driving long distances to see things (especially with the price of gas). It's about spending time together as a family. If in your family you just so happen to go to every museum and zoo that costs money, go out to eat all the time and go to the movies that's great, but just because I take my son to the movies once a year for his birthday (well, this year I'm going to take him twice over the summer and he has already seen the Lorax), go out to eat maybe once a month because money is tight and never go to a place that you have to pay to get in to, doesn't make me a bad mom. You know what I am going to do instead? I'm going to go hiking in the nearby forest preserve every week and teach him about how the sun makes the grass and trees grow. I'll go to the beach and play in the sand (while enjoying my free parking). I'll take him to the park every day, go to all of the free (or almost free) events in our town all summer, and guess what? Not once am I going to tell him that we can't do something fun because it costs too much because there are PLENTY of things we can do that are free, and he will never know the difference!

That works great with younger children, and in fact when my kids were younger it is JUST what we did (mostly) for a 2 year old a lake is as good as the ocean (better indeed).  We started out staying on the water on the ocean side-figured out pretty quick that while it was nicer for the Adults, it sucked for the kids. So we cut the costs in half and rented on the sound side, which was much better for the kids when they were young...and not as good when they got older.

It's pretty easy to see who has very young kids on here, and who has older kids.  Under the age of 10, most kids are content with whatever you give them-and the park and lake are as good as a trip to Yellowstone or the ocean.  When they get older, they want to do more and different things.

It's a common misconception that kids get "spoiled". It's perfectly possible to give your kids things and NOT spoil them.  My youngest wanted an Ipad. He got one for Christmas from the whole family. Sure it was almost $900 but everyone chipped in, and I am paying for his dataplan .

He wants a hedgehog.  They are about $175-$275.  He is saving up his money as we speak and the goal is to get one in September.  i could simply buy him one if I wanted to, but that isn't how it works. AFTER he buys it, I will take responsability for the food and he will do the daily care.

People get amazed at the amount of work my kids do in the house (for their allowences) I clean my room and bathroom and do my laundry and usually my youngest childs laundry.  And all of the grocery shopping (off of the family list)

The lawn mowing trash taking out cooking (most meals) vaccuming floor cleaning dishwasher filling and emptying table setting dusting lawn raking dog walking dog feeding  bathroom cleaning floor scrubbing and all of that is done by the kids.
My oldest makes $75 a week for his aftershool brother sitting and his share of the chores. My youngest gets $25 for listening to his brother, and his share of the chores.  They both can lose their allowence if they don't complete what they are supposed to. 

 I disagree with what I highlighted.  My kids are 14, 11 and 8 and they dont ask to do bigger trips or more expensive things as they age.  They are content with what we can give them.


So they don't care that they can't go where their friends go? They are fine with staying home while their friends go to camp, Disney world and the beach?  IME that would be most  unusual. Most children want to be able to do what their friends do..be it going to the movies, or going to camp.

 Well none of their friends go to camp, we live 15min from the beach we can do that if they wanted (we go once a year for 2hrs-they dont care too much for it), and Disney is over hyped (90min from that).  They get to do movies, that doesnt take much out of our budget-but the others not a big deal to them-my kids are the more unique and unusal from their peers.

I  see. I live in an expensive area, and kids DO go to camp, and to Europe, and to Asia and to the Carribean.  My kids also want to do things like that-not the same camps or places.

My wasbunds Grandparents came over from Italy. My oldest daughter is studying Italian in college, and wants to go there. I am pretty sure I will send her either next summer, or the summer after.

She is old enough to plan it out herself, so I will just give her a check for the expenses.

 I see that-but personally I wouldnt I want to live in a area that is what the kids do or want to do what the kids do in your area.  That is great about the family line-we have done our history over the years and many come from Europe-but it is a few generations back. 

Tea4Tas
by on May. 6, 2012 at 8:30 AM


Quoting momto3infl:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting momto3infl:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting momto3infl:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting popomill:

You know what, when I was growing up all I ever heard was no we can't afford to go on vacation, no we can't afford to do that blah blah blah, and my parents didn't even take us out to do things for free (all they did was work for the house we eventually got). I grew up fine. As for me and my son? We don't really have the money to go on vacation or go out to dinner all the time but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have had my kid because I don't have the money to do that stuff with him. In life it's not all about going on vacations, going out to eat, or driving long distances to see things (especially with the price of gas). It's about spending time together as a family. If in your family you just so happen to go to every museum and zoo that costs money, go out to eat all the time and go to the movies that's great, but just because I take my son to the movies once a year for his birthday (well, this year I'm going to take him twice over the summer and he has already seen the Lorax), go out to eat maybe once a month because money is tight and never go to a place that you have to pay to get in to, doesn't make me a bad mom. You know what I am going to do instead? I'm going to go hiking in the nearby forest preserve every week and teach him about how the sun makes the grass and trees grow. I'll go to the beach and play in the sand (while enjoying my free parking). I'll take him to the park every day, go to all of the free (or almost free) events in our town all summer, and guess what? Not once am I going to tell him that we can't do something fun because it costs too much because there are PLENTY of things we can do that are free, and he will never know the difference!

That works great with younger children, and in fact when my kids were younger it is JUST what we did (mostly) for a 2 year old a lake is as good as the ocean (better indeed).  We started out staying on the water on the ocean side-figured out pretty quick that while it was nicer for the Adults, it sucked for the kids. So we cut the costs in half and rented on the sound side, which was much better for the kids when they were young...and not as good when they got older.

It's pretty easy to see who has very young kids on here, and who has older kids.  Under the age of 10, most kids are content with whatever you give them-and the park and lake are as good as a trip to Yellowstone or the ocean.  When they get older, they want to do more and different things.

It's a common misconception that kids get "spoiled". It's perfectly possible to give your kids things and NOT spoil them.  My youngest wanted an Ipad. He got one for Christmas from the whole family. Sure it was almost $900 but everyone chipped in, and I am paying for his dataplan .

He wants a hedgehog.  They are about $175-$275.  He is saving up his money as we speak and the goal is to get one in September.  i could simply buy him one if I wanted to, but that isn't how it works. AFTER he buys it, I will take responsability for the food and he will do the daily care.

People get amazed at the amount of work my kids do in the house (for their allowences) I clean my room and bathroom and do my laundry and usually my youngest childs laundry.  And all of the grocery shopping (off of the family list)

The lawn mowing trash taking out cooking (most meals) vaccuming floor cleaning dishwasher filling and emptying table setting dusting lawn raking dog walking dog feeding  bathroom cleaning floor scrubbing and all of that is done by the kids.
My oldest makes $75 a week for his aftershool brother sitting and his share of the chores. My youngest gets $25 for listening to his brother, and his share of the chores.  They both can lose their allowence if they don't complete what they are supposed to. 

 I disagree with what I highlighted.  My kids are 14, 11 and 8 and they dont ask to do bigger trips or more expensive things as they age.  They are content with what we can give them.


So they don't care that they can't go where their friends go? They are fine with staying home while their friends go to camp, Disney world and the beach?  IME that would be most  unusual. Most children want to be able to do what their friends do..be it going to the movies, or going to camp.

 Well none of their friends go to camp, we live 15min from the beach we can do that if they wanted (we go once a year for 2hrs-they dont care too much for it), and Disney is over hyped (90min from that).  They get to do movies, that doesnt take much out of our budget-but the others not a big deal to them-my kids are the more unique and unusal from their peers.

I  see. I live in an expensive area, and kids DO go to camp, and to Europe, and to Asia and to the Carribean.  My kids also want to do things like that-not the same camps or places.

My wasbunds Grandparents came over from Italy. My oldest daughter is studying Italian in college, and wants to go there. I am pretty sure I will send her either next summer, or the summer after.

She is old enough to plan it out herself, so I will just give her a check for the expenses.

 I see that-but personally I wouldnt I want to live in a area that is what the kids do or want to do what the kids do in your area.  That is great about the family line-we have done our history over the years and many come from Europe-but it is a few generations back. 

And I wouldn't want to live in an area where kids didn't DO things like go to camp, or go exploring the world (or even just our country)
I think it's wonderful when kids are given the chance to broaden their horizons.

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