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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Why have a lot of kids if you can't afford to do things with them? revised

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Personally, I have 4 kids. To many, it's a lot.. but honestly, I would love more. HOWEVER, financially, 4 is our limit.

I get sad (and sometimes mad) when I hear of families not being able to do things with their kids because they can't afford it and then complain about it. (i.e. occasionally go out to dinner, go on vacations, etc).

I know all of that is not what is most important in life as long as the kids are happy and healthy...and I know there are things that are fun and FREE (I do these things too.. that's how we can afford to go on vacations, visit amusement parks, etc.)  but I think it's sad to have to tell your kids they can't do something (all the time) because they can't afford it.

Am I being irrational?!

Posted by Anonymous on May. 5, 2012 at 4:05 PM
Replies (251-260):
Tea4Tas
by Ruby Member on May. 6, 2012 at 8:35 AM


Quoting momto3infl:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting momto3infl:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting momto3infl:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting popomill:

You know what, when I was growing up all I ever heard was no we can't afford to go on vacation, no we can't afford to do that blah blah blah, and my parents didn't even take us out to do things for free (all they did was work for the house we eventually got). I grew up fine. As for me and my son? We don't really have the money to go on vacation or go out to dinner all the time but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have had my kid because I don't have the money to do that stuff with him. In life it's not all about going on vacations, going out to eat, or driving long distances to see things (especially with the price of gas). It's about spending time together as a family. If in your family you just so happen to go to every museum and zoo that costs money, go out to eat all the time and go to the movies that's great, but just because I take my son to the movies once a year for his birthday (well, this year I'm going to take him twice over the summer and he has already seen the Lorax), go out to eat maybe once a month because money is tight and never go to a place that you have to pay to get in to, doesn't make me a bad mom. You know what I am going to do instead? I'm going to go hiking in the nearby forest preserve every week and teach him about how the sun makes the grass and trees grow. I'll go to the beach and play in the sand (while enjoying my free parking). I'll take him to the park every day, go to all of the free (or almost free) events in our town all summer, and guess what? Not once am I going to tell him that we can't do something fun because it costs too much because there are PLENTY of things we can do that are free, and he will never know the difference!

That works great with younger children, and in fact when my kids were younger it is JUST what we did (mostly) for a 2 year old a lake is as good as the ocean (better indeed).  We started out staying on the water on the ocean side-figured out pretty quick that while it was nicer for the Adults, it sucked for the kids. So we cut the costs in half and rented on the sound side, which was much better for the kids when they were young...and not as good when they got older.

It's pretty easy to see who has very young kids on here, and who has older kids.  Under the age of 10, most kids are content with whatever you give them-and the park and lake are as good as a trip to Yellowstone or the ocean.  When they get older, they want to do more and different things.

It's a common misconception that kids get "spoiled". It's perfectly possible to give your kids things and NOT spoil them.  My youngest wanted an Ipad. He got one for Christmas from the whole family. Sure it was almost $900 but everyone chipped in, and I am paying for his dataplan .

He wants a hedgehog.  They are about $175-$275.  He is saving up his money as we speak and the goal is to get one in September.  i could simply buy him one if I wanted to, but that isn't how it works. AFTER he buys it, I will take responsability for the food and he will do the daily care.

People get amazed at the amount of work my kids do in the house (for their allowences) I clean my room and bathroom and do my laundry and usually my youngest childs laundry.  And all of the grocery shopping (off of the family list)

The lawn mowing trash taking out cooking (most meals) vaccuming floor cleaning dishwasher filling and emptying table setting dusting lawn raking dog walking dog feeding  bathroom cleaning floor scrubbing and all of that is done by the kids.
My oldest makes $75 a week for his aftershool brother sitting and his share of the chores. My youngest gets $25 for listening to his brother, and his share of the chores.  They both can lose their allowence if they don't complete what they are supposed to. 

 I disagree with what I highlighted.  My kids are 14, 11 and 8 and they dont ask to do bigger trips or more expensive things as they age.  They are content with what we can give them.

We plan big things once a year-if that. The rest of the year depends on budget, but I tell my kids this many times, also from a young age we have taught them about money and this part of it. I have three kids, would love more but know it is not financially sound, at the same time 3 stretches us, but I wouldnt change my life.

 

 

You are contradicting yourself. Your kids would LOVE to do other things, but understand that they can't.

That is NOT quite the same as content with what you give them-they UNDERSTAND why they can't do more, which isn't the same as NOT wanting to do more.

 

 They understand why not the amusement parks-but at the same time they know they are hyped we have worked one or two as family things during their life.  They are content because they know if there was something they wanted to do it may take time, but not a drop of a hat and even then it may not happen.  Like the kids have wanted to go see the West Coast-they know that will never happen until they do it on their own as an adult.

In other words your kids DO want to do things you cannot afford to do. Thanks for being honest.


 

 Yeah-but at the same time they dont ask for a lot of things.  They asked about west coast since their dad lived there many years when his dad was in Air Force.  Normally they dont ask to do what the cool thing is.


"cool thing" Who ever said that kids ask to do what the "cool thing" is?

The cool thing here, among high school kids is to scam a rental of a beach house (they don't allow groups of non related kids to rent) and spend the week there with their friends..my kids would prefer to take their friends with them to stay with my parents-at their house on the lake.  Much more fun.  And safer too.

 

cherrywaves21
by on May. 6, 2012 at 8:41 AM
My best memories are of talking walks in the park and collecting rocks, leaves & pine cones for art.

Walking in the neighborhood with my mother and talking. Going to the library and doing the summer reading program. Playing tag outside with my mom and brother. I didn't need trips and other people to amuse me.

That's sad to think of otherwise. I also LOATHED private school, it sucked. My mom homeschooled us and I learned so much more, than sitting in a classroom. So I completely disagree with this statement.

Quoting Anonymous:

I agree. Children want and need more then food and shelter. Even if you can provide the basics, you shouldnt have more kids unless you can go above and beyond. Kids deserve to have memory making life experience, and usually those cost money. Vacations, summer camp, sports, any extracurricular activities, not to mention a great education (usually private school) and college, they are all expensive but children deserve it. They are only a child once, and you should make the most of it.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
hayliedlr
by Gold Member on May. 6, 2012 at 8:49 AM
1 mom liked this

 a vacation for us is visiting family (we are here now visiting).  It's a 3.5 hr drive.  The kids have fun and don't expect more.  Kids will not be unhappy Bc they can't or don't get to do those things.

Anonymous71321
by on May. 6, 2012 at 9:04 AM

 Me either!  This summer my 15 year old is doing medical camp, 13 is doing an XMA karate camp (same one Taylor Lautner and the kid from Kickin It trained,,,only 15 kids in the world are accepted each year), and my 7 year old is doing childrens college and soccer camp.  All of this in addition to their normal classes and activities.   It's going to be a great summer for them and I'm excited for everything going on!  My kids work hard to be their best and it shows!  All kids should be so inspired and encouraged.  (And omg, am I going to be busy, lol) 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting momto3infl:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting momto3infl:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting momto3infl:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting popomill:

You know what, when I was growing up all I ever heard was no we can't afford to go on vacation, no we can't afford to do that blah blah blah, and my parents didn't even take us out to do things for free (all they did was work for the house we eventually got). I grew up fine. As for me and my son? We don't really have the money to go on vacation or go out to dinner all the time but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have had my kid because I don't have the money to do that stuff with him. In life it's not all about going on vacations, going out to eat, or driving long distances to see things (especially with the price of gas). It's about spending time together as a family. If in your family you just so happen to go to every museum and zoo that costs money, go out to eat all the time and go to the movies that's great, but just because I take my son to the movies once a year for his birthday (well, this year I'm going to take him twice over the summer and he has already seen the Lorax), go out to eat maybe once a month because money is tight and never go to a place that you have to pay to get in to, doesn't make me a bad mom. You know what I am going to do instead? I'm going to go hiking in the nearby forest preserve every week and teach him about how the sun makes the grass and trees grow. I'll go to the beach and play in the sand (while enjoying my free parking). I'll take him to the park every day, go to all of the free (or almost free) events in our town all summer, and guess what? Not once am I going to tell him that we can't do something fun because it costs too much because there are PLENTY of things we can do that are free, and he will never know the difference!

That works great with younger children, and in fact when my kids were younger it is JUST what we did (mostly) for a 2 year old a lake is as good as the ocean (better indeed).  We started out staying on the water on the ocean side-figured out pretty quick that while it was nicer for the Adults, it sucked for the kids. So we cut the costs in half and rented on the sound side, which was much better for the kids when they were young...and not as good when they got older.

It's pretty easy to see who has very young kids on here, and who has older kids.  Under the age of 10, most kids are content with whatever you give them-and the park and lake are as good as a trip to Yellowstone or the ocean.  When they get older, they want to do more and different things.

It's a common misconception that kids get "spoiled". It's perfectly possible to give your kids things and NOT spoil them.  My youngest wanted an Ipad. He got one for Christmas from the whole family. Sure it was almost $900 but everyone chipped in, and I am paying for his dataplan .

He wants a hedgehog.  They are about $175-$275.  He is saving up his money as we speak and the goal is to get one in September.  i could simply buy him one if I wanted to, but that isn't how it works. AFTER he buys it, I will take responsability for the food and he will do the daily care.

People get amazed at the amount of work my kids do in the house (for their allowences) I clean my room and bathroom and do my laundry and usually my youngest childs laundry.  And all of the grocery shopping (off of the family list)

The lawn mowing trash taking out cooking (most meals) vaccuming floor cleaning dishwasher filling and emptying table setting dusting lawn raking dog walking dog feeding  bathroom cleaning floor scrubbing and all of that is done by the kids.
My oldest makes $75 a week for his aftershool brother sitting and his share of the chores. My youngest gets $25 for listening to his brother, and his share of the chores.  They both can lose their allowence if they don't complete what they are supposed to. 

 I disagree with what I highlighted.  My kids are 14, 11 and 8 and they dont ask to do bigger trips or more expensive things as they age.  They are content with what we can give them.


So they don't care that they can't go where their friends go? They are fine with staying home while their friends go to camp, Disney world and the beach?  IME that would be most  unusual. Most children want to be able to do what their friends do..be it going to the movies, or going to camp.

 Well none of their friends go to camp, we live 15min from the beach we can do that if they wanted (we go once a year for 2hrs-they dont care too much for it), and Disney is over hyped (90min from that).  They get to do movies, that doesnt take much out of our budget-but the others not a big deal to them-my kids are the more unique and unusal from their peers.

I  see. I live in an expensive area, and kids DO go to camp, and to Europe, and to Asia and to the Carribean.  My kids also want to do things like that-not the same camps or places.

My wasbunds Grandparents came over from Italy. My oldest daughter is studying Italian in college, and wants to go there. I am pretty sure I will send her either next summer, or the summer after.

She is old enough to plan it out herself, so I will just give her a check for the expenses.

 I see that-but personally I wouldnt I want to live in a area that is what the kids do or want to do what the kids do in your area.  That is great about the family line-we have done our history over the years and many come from Europe-but it is a few generations back. 

And I wouldn't want to live in an area where kids didn't DO things like go to camp, or go exploring the world (or even just our country)
I think it's wonderful when kids are given the chance to broaden their horizons.

 

redneckmama4
by Loree on May. 6, 2012 at 9:35 AM

I feel the best things in life are free!!

If you feel you need to take vacations to make your kids happy, more power to ya. But we enjoy the time spent...not the money...

O-and we have 4:o)

"I'd rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I'm not"-Montgomery Gentry

Life and Times of a Redneck Woman 

Do you swag:O)

popomill
by on May. 6, 2012 at 10:06 AM


Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting popomill:

You know what, when I was growing up all I ever heard was no we can't afford to go on vacation, no we can't afford to do that blah blah blah, and my parents didn't even take us out to do things for free (all they did was work for the house we eventually got). I grew up fine. As for me and my son? We don't really have the money to go on vacation or go out to dinner all the time but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have had my kid because I don't have the money to do that stuff with him. In life it's not all about going on vacations, going out to eat, or driving long distances to see things (especially with the price of gas). It's about spending time together as a family. If in your family you just so happen to go to every museum and zoo that costs money, go out to eat all the time and go to the movies that's great, but just because I take my son to the movies once a year for his birthday (well, this year I'm going to take him twice over the summer and he has already seen the Lorax), go out to eat maybe once a month because money is tight and never go to a place that you have to pay to get in to, doesn't make me a bad mom. You know what I am going to do instead? I'm going to go hiking in the nearby forest preserve every week and teach him about how the sun makes the grass and trees grow. I'll go to the beach and play in the sand (while enjoying my free parking). I'll take him to the park every day, go to all of the free (or almost free) events in our town all summer, and guess what? Not once am I going to tell him that we can't do something fun because it costs too much because there are PLENTY of things we can do that are free, and he will never know the difference!

That works great with younger children, and in fact when my kids were younger it is JUST what we did (mostly) for a 2 year old a lake is as good as the ocean (better indeed).  We started out staying on the water on the ocean side-figured out pretty quick that while it was nicer for the Adults, it sucked for the kids. So we cut the costs in half and rented on the sound side, which was much better for the kids when they were young...and not as good when they got older.

It's pretty easy to see who has very young kids on here, and who has older kids.  Under the age of 10, most kids are content with whatever you give them-and the park and lake are as good as a trip to Yellowstone or the ocean.  When they get older, they want to do more and different things.

It's a common misconception that kids get "spoiled". It's perfectly possible to give your kids things and NOT spoil them.  My youngest wanted an Ipad. He got one for Christmas from the whole family. Sure it was almost $900 but everyone chipped in, and I am paying for his dataplan .

He wants a hedgehog.  They are about $175-$275.  He is saving up his money as we speak and the goal is to get one in September.  i could simply buy him one if I wanted to, but that isn't how it works. AFTER he buys it, I will take responsability for the food and he will do the daily care.

People get amazed at the amount of work my kids do in the house (for their allowences) I clean my room and bathroom and do my laundry and usually my youngest childs laundry.  And all of the grocery shopping (off of the family list)

The lawn mowing trash taking out cooking (most meals) vaccuming floor cleaning dishwasher filling and emptying table setting dusting lawn raking dog walking dog feeding  bathroom cleaning floor scrubbing and all of that is done by the kids.
My oldest makes $75 a week for his aftershool brother sitting and his share of the chores. My youngest gets $25 for listening to his brother, and his share of the chores.  They both can lose their allowence if they don't complete what they are supposed to. 


Wow, well you're an amazing mom for giving that much in allowance! I never got a dime and I had to do what your kids did and more. I already give my son 'chore money' pretty much if I'm cleaning and I have him help out a lot I give him all my spare change because he loves to play with the money and his bank has already been filled up twice, he LOVES to help. That's great that your whole family chipped in for an iPad, that is one thing I have a problem with is how much technology should I let my son have when he's older. We didn't get cell phones until I was 16, didn't have a computer until I was in 5th grade and I didn't have my own tv until I was almost 17. I always think about how it was when I was little when we didn't have cell phones and computers and everything else we have so I'm not sure how I feel about my son going on the computer (which I let him do for maybe an hour max, but it's only like once every few months he wants on), when I want him to have a cell phone and stuff, any tips? Your kids are older so I'm sure you have more experience with them and technology. I just wish things were more like when I was a kid and there was less technology! I even want to get rid of my TV just so it's one less thing for him to do indoors.

notjstasocermom
by Ruby Member on May. 6, 2012 at 10:08 AM

yes.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 6, 2012 at 10:16 AM
You pay your youngest for listening to his brother?


Quoting Tea4Tas:



Quoting popomill:


You know what, when I was growing up all I ever heard was no we can't afford to go on vacation, no we can't afford to do that blah blah blah, and my parents didn't even take us out to do things for free (all they did was work for the house we eventually got). I grew up fine. As for me and my son? We don't really have the money to go on vacation or go out to dinner all the time but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have had my kid because I don't have the money to do that stuff with him. In life it's not all about going on vacations, going out to eat, or driving long distances to see things (especially with the price of gas). It's about spending time together as a family. If in your family you just so happen to go to every museum and zoo that costs money, go out to eat all the time and go to the movies that's great, but just because I take my son to the movies once a year for his birthday (well, this year I'm going to take him twice over the summer and he has already seen the Lorax), go out to eat maybe once a month because money is tight and never go to a place that you have to pay to get in to, doesn't make me a bad mom. You know what I am going to do instead? I'm going to go hiking in the nearby forest preserve every week and teach him about how the sun makes the grass and trees grow. I'll go to the beach and play in the sand (while enjoying my free parking). I'll take him to the park every day, go to all of the free (or almost free) events in our town all summer, and guess what? Not once am I going to tell him that we can't do something fun because it costs too much because there are PLENTY of things we can do that are free, and he will never know the difference!


That works great with younger children, and in fact when my kids were younger it is JUST what we did (mostly) for a 2 year old a lake is as good as the ocean (better indeed).  We started out staying on the water on the ocean side-figured out pretty quick that while it was nicer for the Adults, it sucked for the kids. So we cut the costs in half and rented on the sound side, which was much better for the kids when they were young...and not as good when they got older.


It's pretty easy to see who has very young kids on here, and who has older kids.  Under the age of 10, most kids are content with whatever you give them-and the park and lake are as good as a trip to Yellowstone or the ocean.  When they get older, they want to do more and different things.


It's a common misconception that kids get "spoiled". It's perfectly possible to give your kids things and NOT spoil them.  My youngest wanted an Ipad. He got one for Christmas from the whole family. Sure it was almost $900 but everyone chipped in, and I am paying for his dataplan .


He wants a hedgehog.  They are about $175-$275.  He is saving up his money as we speak and the goal is to get one in September.  i could simply buy him one if I wanted to, but that isn't how it works. AFTER he buys it, I will take responsability for the food and he will do the daily care.


People get amazed at the amount of work my kids do in the house (for their allowences) I clean my room and bathroom and do my laundry and usually my youngest childs laundry.  And all of the grocery shopping (off of the family list)


The lawn mowing trash taking out cooking (most meals) vaccuming floor cleaning dishwasher filling and emptying table setting dusting lawn raking dog walking dog feeding  bathroom cleaning floor scrubbing and all of that is done by the kids.
My oldest makes $75 a week for his aftershool brother sitting and his share of the chores. My youngest gets $25 for listening to his brother, and his share of the chores.  They both can lose their allowence if they don't complete what they are supposed to. 


Tea4Tas
by Ruby Member on May. 6, 2012 at 11:10 AM


Quoting popomill:

 

Quoting Tea4Tas:

 

Quoting popomill:

You know what, when I was growing up all I ever heard was no we can't afford to go on vacation, no we can't afford to do that blah blah blah, and my parents didn't even take us out to do things for free (all they did was work for the house we eventually got). I grew up fine. As for me and my son? We don't really have the money to go on vacation or go out to dinner all the time but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have had my kid because I don't have the money to do that stuff with him. In life it's not all about going on vacations, going out to eat, or driving long distances to see things (especially with the price of gas). It's about spending time together as a family. If in your family you just so happen to go to every museum and zoo that costs money, go out to eat all the time and go to the movies that's great, but just because I take my son to the movies once a year for his birthday (well, this year I'm going to take him twice over the summer and he has already seen the Lorax), go out to eat maybe once a month because money is tight and never go to a place that you have to pay to get in to, doesn't make me a bad mom. You know what I am going to do instead? I'm going to go hiking in the nearby forest preserve every week and teach him about how the sun makes the grass and trees grow. I'll go to the beach and play in the sand (while enjoying my free parking). I'll take him to the park every day, go to all of the free (or almost free) events in our town all summer, and guess what? Not once am I going to tell him that we can't do something fun because it costs too much because there are PLENTY of things we can do that are free, and he will never know the difference!

That works great with younger children, and in fact when my kids were younger it is JUST what we did (mostly) for a 2 year old a lake is as good as the ocean (better indeed).  We started out staying on the water on the ocean side-figured out pretty quick that while it was nicer for the Adults, it sucked for the kids. So we cut the costs in half and rented on the sound side, which was much better for the kids when they were young...and not as good when they got older.

It's pretty easy to see who has very young kids on here, and who has older kids.  Under the age of 10, most kids are content with whatever you give them-and the park and lake are as good as a trip to Yellowstone or the ocean.  When they get older, they want to do more and different things.

It's a common misconception that kids get "spoiled". It's perfectly possible to give your kids things and NOT spoil them.  My youngest wanted an Ipad. He got one for Christmas from the whole family. Sure it was almost $900 but everyone chipped in, and I am paying for his dataplan .

He wants a hedgehog.  They are about $175-$275.  He is saving up his money as we speak and the goal is to get one in September.  i could simply buy him one if I wanted to, but that isn't how it works. AFTER he buys it, I will take responsability for the food and he will do the daily care.

People get amazed at the amount of work my kids do in the house (for their allowences) I clean my room and bathroom and do my laundry and usually my youngest childs laundry.  And all of the grocery shopping (off of the family list)

The lawn mowing trash taking out cooking (most meals) vaccuming floor cleaning dishwasher filling and emptying table setting dusting lawn raking dog walking dog feeding  bathroom cleaning floor scrubbing and all of that is done by the kids.
My oldest makes $75 a week for his aftershool brother sitting and his share of the chores. My youngest gets $25 for listening to his brother, and his share of the chores.  They both can lose their allowence if they don't complete what they are supposed to. 


Wow, well you're an amazing mom for giving that much in allowance! I never got a dime and I had to do what your kids did and more. I already give my son 'chore money' pretty much if I'm cleaning and I have him help out a lot I give him all my spare change because he loves to play with the money and his bank has already been filled up twice, he LOVES to help. That's great that your whole family chipped in for an iPad, that is one thing I have a problem with is how much technology should I let my son have when he's older. We didn't get cell phones until I was 16, didn't have a computer until I was in 5th grade and I didn't have my own tv until I was almost 17. I always think about how it was when I was little when we didn't have cell phones and computers and everything else we have so I'm not sure how I feel about my son going on the computer (which I let him do for maybe an hour max, but it's only like once every few months he wants on), when I want him to have a cell phone and stuff, any tips? Your kids are older so I'm sure you have more experience with them and technology. I just wish things were more like when I was a kid and there was less technology! I even want to get rid of my TV just so it's one less thing for him to do indoors.

The schools here start using computers in first grade.  By third grade they are expected to be able to do reports on them. My son did his book report by videoing it with his IPad. If I hadn't been willing to send it in with him, we could have posted it to youtube, and his teacher could have played it back thru her school issued laptop on the projection screen.

For his spelling he googles pictures of his words, and prints it and writes the words next to the pictures.

Most of his reading is done on my kindle or his Ipad (the series he is interested in is cheaper on ipad or kindle than in paperback)

You see times are changing..my first computer cost $4000..that isn't something you give to a kid. But now they are more in reach, and having multiple computers isn't such a big deal as it used to be.

All my kids have cell phones-it makes MY life easier (and they had BETTER answer them when i call...no ifs ands or buts

The older kids have smart phones, and my youngest got his when he was 7-it's as basic as i could get at the time.

Eventually, at some point to get a job they will need to use a computer-why not start them young?


 

Tea4Tas
by Ruby Member on May. 6, 2012 at 11:13 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

You pay your youngest for listening to his brother?


Quoting Tea4Tas:

 


Quoting popomill:


You know what, when I was growing up all I ever heard was no we can't afford to go on vacation, no we can't afford to do that blah blah blah, and my parents didn't even take us out to do things for free (all they did was work for the house we eventually got). I grew up fine. As for me and my son? We don't really have the money to go on vacation or go out to dinner all the time but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have had my kid because I don't have the money to do that stuff with him. In life it's not all about going on vacations, going out to eat, or driving long distances to see things (especially with the price of gas). It's about spending time together as a family. If in your family you just so happen to go to every museum and zoo that costs money, go out to eat all the time and go to the movies that's great, but just because I take my son to the movies once a year for his birthday (well, this year I'm going to take him twice over the summer and he has already seen the Lorax), go out to eat maybe once a month because money is tight and never go to a place that you have to pay to get in to, doesn't make me a bad mom. You know what I am going to do instead? I'm going to go hiking in the nearby forest preserve every week and teach him about how the sun makes the grass and trees grow. I'll go to the beach and play in the sand (while enjoying my free parking). I'll take him to the park every day, go to all of the free (or almost free) events in our town all summer, and guess what? Not once am I going to tell him that we can't do something fun because it costs too much because there are PLENTY of things we can do that are free, and he will never know the difference!


That works great with younger children, and in fact when my kids were younger it is JUST what we did (mostly) for a 2 year old a lake is as good as the ocean (better indeed).  We started out staying on the water on the ocean side-figured out pretty quick that while it was nicer for the Adults, it sucked for the kids. So we cut the costs in half and rented on the sound side, which was much better for the kids when they were young...and not as good when they got older.


It's pretty easy to see who has very young kids on here, and who has older kids.  Under the age of 10, most kids are content with whatever you give them-and the park and lake are as good as a trip to Yellowstone or the ocean.  When they get older, they want to do more and different things.


It's a common misconception that kids get "spoiled". It's perfectly possible to give your kids things and NOT spoil them.  My youngest wanted an Ipad. He got one for Christmas from the whole family. Sure it was almost $900 but everyone chipped in, and I am paying for his dataplan .


He wants a hedgehog.  They are about $175-$275.  He is saving up his money as we speak and the goal is to get one in September.  i could simply buy him one if I wanted to, but that isn't how it works. AFTER he buys it, I will take responsability for the food and he will do the daily care.


People get amazed at the amount of work my kids do in the house (for their allowences) I clean my room and bathroom and do my laundry and usually my youngest childs laundry.  And all of the grocery shopping (off of the family list)


The lawn mowing trash taking out cooking (most meals) vaccuming floor cleaning dishwasher filling and emptying table setting dusting lawn raking dog walking dog feeding  bathroom cleaning floor scrubbing and all of that is done by the kids.
My oldest makes $75 a week for his aftershool brother sitting and his share of the chores. My youngest gets $25 for listening to his brother, and his share of the chores.  They both can lose their allowence if they don't complete what they are supposed to. 



Yep.  He has tons of other chores, but if he doesn't LISTEN and do what he is told, he loses ALL of his allowence.  That only had to happen once, and now when he is told to set the table or start on his homework, it gets done.  My parents did the same thing when my sister babysat me-and we never fought when left alone-we wanted to get paid!

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