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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Husband and Wife - Doesn't Mean Much, These Days

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I'm just being honest here, and not trying to bash anyone!

I read the post about the Facebook Phenomenon- men and women calling each other husband and wife when they're NOT married.  It annoys her.  She's not married, herself, and it still bothers her.

A few other women commented that people that do that have no class, are being annoying, etc.

It doesn't bother me; despite what marriage is supposed to be- sacred, religious, a binding tie between two people in love for better or worse- to me, marriage has been made into a big joke.  Between the divorce rate and all of the people that do it in the spur of the moment without really being in love, I don't take marriage seriously, anymore.  There is annulment to void out marriages within 9 months.  There are marriages that do not make it past the honeymoon stage.  There are marriages that happen because of a pregnancy, where the couple isn't even truly "in love", only doing it for the sake of the child.  

I'm perfectly fine with people saying "husband and wife" when they're not.  In my eyes, their are MANY more couples that stay together longer and are more serious about being together that AREN'T married, than there are couples that ARE married.  My mom and step dad were together 18 years before my family convinced them to have a backyard wedding, and things were fine for those 18 years.

So, what's the big freakin deal, really?

by on May. 6, 2012 at 8:56 AM
Replies (21-30):
KeepJeep
by on May. 6, 2012 at 9:14 AM
That's your opinion. My husband and I have been married for 12 years. We take our vows very seriously. Our marriage is the foundation of our family. It means everything to us. I love that man more as each year goes by. Not all of us believe marriage is a fleeting thing.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 6, 2012 at 9:16 AM
1 mom liked this
If they call each other husband and wife why don't they just GET MARRIED!!!! It is annoying, sometimes. If they are that committed then make it freakin official.
.Pagan.
by on May. 6, 2012 at 9:17 AM
1 mom liked this

 if it isn't that important then why not call them your partner instead of husband? because people take you more seriously if you use husband than if you use boyfriend. regardless of what some think of marriage it still does have a heavy weight in much of society.

notjstasocermom
by Emerald Member on May. 6, 2012 at 9:18 AM


Quoting UnIdentiFiedOne:

I don't care. It doesn't "bother" me. I just don't get calling yourself something you are not.

I could say that I'm a contortionist super model with billions of dollars and three pet pigs. Doesn't make it true...


helema24
by on May. 6, 2012 at 9:19 AM

some of them migh tbe religiously married and not legally which is what my hsuband and i were for a time before we made it permanant and legal. some religions call fo rmarriege for the dateing portion and many marry without the certificate just in case things dont work out right. asd fo tthose not married in any form then who cares what the call each other its better than saying old lady or old man...

Rlmama00
by Silver Member on May. 6, 2012 at 9:21 AM
It has more to do with the entitlement culture that we live in. The moment some people aren't 100% happy they throw in the towel and divorce because "they deserve to be happy." Marriage isn't always easy and sometimes there are rough patches to be worked through to get that joy again. Not everyone is willing to put in the effort and would rather just look for greener grass elsewhere.

Then you have a whole culture of young women preparing for a wedding but not a marriage. They put so much effort into the dress, the party, "their" big day, but they don't seem to focus at all on the relationship. How many times have we heard stories of the dead beat ex that wasn't like that in the beginning? Sometimes those stories are true and sometimes women are so blinded by the fun part of planning the wedding that they are blind to the truth.

Dh and I have been married for 11 years and we put a lot of value in our marriage. We have been through times when I've wondered if the end was near but we were patient enough to get through those storms. Each time we've come out even stronger. I don't expect dh to make me happy. I am responsible for my own happiness and he can choose to join me or be the party pooper in the corner. And when I am unhappy I do what I can to try to change it on my end, not just put all the blame on him.
neverbeamom
by on May. 6, 2012 at 9:22 AM

I don't know- ask them.

It may seem like it has a heavy weight, but in reality I've only seen one effect that comes with the territory of only being a couple that isn't married.  People ask me if I'm married and I say, "No, but I have a long-term boyfriend."  Many women that are married and judgemental think "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationships aren't as serious as a marriage.  Maybe not legally, but I take my relationship very seriously.  We live together, we pay our bills together, we are committed to each other, we put each other first in our decision making- we do everything a married couple does.  So that's why I have my beliefs about getting married.

Quoting .Pagan.:

 if it isn't that important then why not call them your partner instead of husband? because people take you more seriously if you use husband than if you use boyfriend. regardless of what some think of marriage it still does have a heavy weight in much of society.


Mare1180
by on May. 6, 2012 at 9:22 AM
This

Quoting sunfireprincess:

It does not bother me, none of my business anyway
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 6, 2012 at 9:22 AM
me and my fiance call each other husband and wife. we consider our relationship a common law marriage because we are getting married. we are very much in love we just are not right now. i dont like the people who call each other that when they have dated for only a week. it took a while before we considered each other that. so i dont see anything wrong with it as long as your commited to each other. since im getting married to him anyways i find saying husband to be much easier to say than fiance.
laurenb1
by on May. 6, 2012 at 9:25 AM
It doesn't piss me off but it's confusing, did they get married or not. But really it's not my business. And a funny story: last year I called my friend right after I got engaged ( she lives in another state) and she was like yeah we got engaged too. I told her I saw it on Facebook but people always put that when they have a boyfriend and not really a fiancΓ© and/or ring. She said, you know I'm real haha
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