im 25, and my mom JUST informed me..*MY MOMS RESPONSE IN RED*
that ive been "violated" three times in my life.
now i say violated because i only recall one incident and i DO NOT feel likee the victim.
so heres what she told me, and at the bottom what she explained about my "dont touch me or be in my bubble policy"
when i was 5, my female cousin (age 11) was over and forced me to strip down and lay on the bed. apparently i was crying sayig thats a no-no spot, when my older sister (16 then) ran up stairs and caught my cousin "going down" on me. my mom said she immediately took my cousin home and was never around her again which is why i only vaguely remember her or my aunt who thoughts were "they were just exploring"
second was when i was 8 and a friend from school had come over she was also 8 ish. we had just gotten out of the pool and were changing clothes. mom walkd into me screaming at her to stop she was hurting me. mom said when she walked in my friend was sitting on my naked body, on my chest and was stickinga pencil and her fingers into my vagina. mom said she called cps on my friends family but did not press charges because when they talked to me about it i didnt know what was reallyhappenig.
these two thing i dont remember. mom said after this is when her and dad becam VERY open about sex and anything involved so we kids would be informed and know whats ok and what not.
this one i remember clear as day. in jr high we had a bus driver that would "pat" a few of us on the butt as we were getting off the bus. we girls complained to each other but no adults. well he started doing it to kid younger than me, i was about 12. i got tired of it one day when i watchedhim pat the front sides of a couple elementary kids. he tried to touch me when wentt o get of the bus, so i grabbed his hand and said "leave your fuc*ing grimey hands off all the kids or i will become your worst enemy" he turned me in to the scool to expel me for cussing, deleted the videoof the bus ride. they called me in, didnt believe me when i told them why, and i called my parents, and they called in 12 other students to back up the touchin issue. we had to fight my explosion all the way up to school super. where we were to have ameeting with thisdriver. my parents and i were in supers office when the driver came across the cb radio telling another drive "ihave to go redeem myself against this teen who thinks she has the power to stop me, shes just a wannabe martyr and i have pull in this town shes just trailer trash, noone will believe her"
my dad flew across the desk of the super and told him to call the police because SOMEONE i going to jail. the school refused to call the police, no evidence, the guy, who IS a bigname in our town was fired, and i got kicked off the bus for 3 day for cussin.
my parents got an exparte aganst guy. that summer, i won local queen contest, and was to ride in the parade on a car, HE paid 3 times the sponsor $ to BE the car/driver. (he paid after, i won) we fought and won due to exparte
now, we moved into town 2 yrs later,and what do you know a week later..he moved in behind us.
UPDATE: ok after having thought about it for a week while mom was out of town we did get to sit down and talk. she said reason why she said something at that point in time is because she planned on discussing with my brother how even not remembering or not being able to remember can still have effects on a persons life and was going to use my experiences as examples and felt it was best to bring it up to me to see if i did or did not remember the first two incidents.
I have decided that Im not going to dwell on it or allow it to ruin anything in my life. I have gone 20 yrs without knowing about the first incident and I never allowed the 3rd to victimize me, so Im not going to allow any of it to hurt me. obviously Im sure I will wonder why i dont remember these things and Im sure I will have questions later as any person would. But I do know that neither my cousin nor my childhood friend have been in my life for years, and thats not going to change!
as for what happened to the girls. My cousin, well, last mom knew she was on and off of probation for drugs and prostitution and her own child was at one time, and maybe still in DFS custody. This as a late teen/early adult. As for right after the issue.. Mom cut off all contact with DeeDee and her family until my dad was ill Dec2010-march2011 when he passed away. At that time mom spoke to Aunt DeeDee quiet a bit but cared not to go into anything of the past.
As for my child hood friend...Mom said it was Tanya or Tonya, she wasnt able to remember the pronunciation. However, she said at the time of the incident with her, mom and dad were foster parents, so she HAD to report it to the state. She said she followed up on the case a couple times after we moved away but life just got too hectic with our huge family she wasnt able to stay on top of it. All she knows is that DFS did come speak to me, my siblings, my parents, my foster siblings, and of course her family as well.
thank you all for the kind words and understanding. It was definately mind blowing for my mom to tell me this stuff over the phone while shes hundred of miles away but thankfully some of you helped me not stress out or freak out over it and helped me keep a cool head and let me decide how its going to effect me, if at all. thank you!
(my brothers young neighbor kid was inappropriately touching my 9 month old nephew.. he was changing the diaper and was "holding and shaking" Wyatts penis, my brother didn't know wether to confront his parents, their long time best friends, or let it go)
Mom to Tucker Wayne~ May 2008 & Owen Mabry ~ DUE July 19th. STBwife to Troy~ Sept 8, 2012. Itworks body wrap rep~ NONextreme Couponer and trainer~ Christian~Pro-Life~Nonpolitical~Believes your choices for your children, are YOUR choices, Not mine.