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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

who's responsible for finding a sitter in this situation?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

i've been with BF for over 3 years. i have a child who's 6 years old. at times, my dad will watch him, but not often. if he does watch him, i have to make sure my child is sleeping before we even go anywhere adn some nights, it's late (around 10 or 11pm) before he's sleeping and i'm able to go anywhere.

recently, i had someone who was willing to watch my child for a few hrs so me and BF can do something-- but instead of doing something with me, BF decides to go out with his sisters. almost every night though, he asks 'what do you want to do?'... i dont know. i dont have much to do at home, and as a parent, i dont want to leave my child here. IMO, if he truly wanted to do something with me, set up a date or something, HE'D hire a sitter... or am i wrong?  or since its my child, its my responsibility to find a sitter, pay for the sitter ($10-15/hr) and most likely, pay for the date as well?

this is the man where we plan on getting married one day, and who says he'll treat my child just as he'll treat his own

Posted by Anonymous on May. 6, 2012 at 2:09 PM
Replies (11-20):
frankiesma530
by Platinum Member on May. 6, 2012 at 2:17 PM

 I think it's your responsibility but he could help, if he wanted to.

brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on May. 6, 2012 at 2:17 PM

 you pay for sitter he pays for date.




 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 6, 2012 at 2:18 PM

thats the thing- i DID find a sitter for last week... was out $40 for a date that we had practically planned.. but he decided spending time with his sisters was more important... and no, he doesnt pay for dates. yea- thats another issue we have. i dont want to find/pay another sitter when i dont even know if I'M important enough to go on a date with, ya know

Quoting dolphingurl1286:

Its ur responsibility to find the sitter BC its your child. He sgould pay.for the date


crispysmom
by on May. 6, 2012 at 2:18 PM
You're the parent. It's your responsibility.
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Schleetle
by on May. 6, 2012 at 2:19 PM
I think the sitter is your responsibility. Maybe later on if you get married you can decide together, but for now I'd let him just pay for the dates.
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NoahandEliza
by on May. 6, 2012 at 2:19 PM
If you're going to marry him, this will be his stepchild. Does he expect that he won't have any responsibilty toward him/her then? I think after three years, it wouldn't hurt him to help out.
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alexsmomaubrys2
by Ruby Member on May. 6, 2012 at 2:20 PM

It is your responsibility to find and hire and pay the sitter. If you want to make plans and go out, then do it. You don't need to sit at home and wait for him to decide to invite you out. Go out with your friends.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 6, 2012 at 2:21 PM

my dad wont actively watch a kid. my child is 6 and can practically care for himself (can reheat food in the microwave, make sandwiches, cereal, his own drinks, and entertain himelf for hrs. once its bedtime, all you say its bedtime and he'll brush his teeth, turn the music on and lay down.. but its just something my dad doesnt do/want)...

I dont really want to go out. i did that one time bc we havent had a date at all this year and last year- it was some time in sept, i think... but it was mainly him bugging me about doing something, etc. so i paid for a sitter and he bailed.

and yea- i'm rethinking this entire relationship, and his constant 'what do you want to do?' after my child is already sleeping is NOT helping the situation

Quoting Anonymous:

Let's see...your boyfriend will go out without you and if you do go, you will end up paying.....and you want to marry him?

First of all, it would still by your responsibility to get and pay for a sitter if you would like to go out.  I don't understand why you would wait until your son is asleep before leaving him with your dad though. 


jcm28
by Gold Member on May. 6, 2012 at 2:22 PM

Why are you paying so much for a sitter? and why are you paying for the dates all the time? If your going to be married it should be 50/50. Not every family or most will treat their step 110% of their family when it comes down to it they will chose bleed any day.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 6, 2012 at 2:23 PM

he doesnt pay for the dates- thats on me too.

its not even the PAYING for a sitter... he could easily find a sitter, or someone who is interested in babysitting and pass that person along to me. liek "hey- so and so babysits a few times, maybe you should call her up and see how much she charges"

Quoting Schleetle:

I think the sitter is your responsibility. Maybe later on if you get married you can decide together, but for now I'd let him just pay for the dates.


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