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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Relationship advice...am I delusional?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I have been dating this guy for almost a year now.

Lately our "relationship" has been mostly talking on the phone. In March he started a second job and works the 1st job from 630 am 230p and then starts the 2nd job at 330p and gets off at 930p. He calls me everyday while he is driving from job 1 to job 2, several times during the night, and then again on his drive home after job 2. He is a single father, he has custody of his 14 yr old son so on the weekends, he always seems to have something to do. I have not physically seen him in about 3 months.

So last week, I told him that I wanted to go see the Avengers so he needs to make some way to find time to take me. He agreed and we made plans to go see it yesterday. 

Well, yesterday came and he calls me to tell me that his nephew had a basketball game that was an hour away and his parents wanted to go to the game so he had to drive them because neither one of them drives long distances, so we wouldn't be able to go to the show.

That is just one example. When I try to see him, it's always something. Something always comes up. I'm at the point where I just ready to walk away. He tells me that I just need to be patient. That he is just working the 2nd job for the moment and he'll have more time soon. He tells me that if he didn't care about me, then he wouldn't bother to call me everyday, at least 5 times a day. Let me add that we have not slept together, yet.

But I am of the mind that if someone REALLY wants to see you, then they will make a way. No excuses andno broken promises. But now I feel like I'm being a bitch because it's not like he's out clubbing, he working and doing things with or for his family. But what about me? Where do I fit in in the equation? Like how long does he expect me to be patient?

So lately our relationship consists of 5-6 phone calls a day, a few dirty texts, and dirty pictures. Now while that is cool, I want more.

So am I delusional and just being a bitch? Or does this sound like a guy that really doesn't want to be in a relationship and I should just move on?


Posted by Anonymous on May. 6, 2012 at 6:32 PM
Replies (11-20):
notjstanothrmom
by Ruby Member on May. 6, 2012 at 6:46 PM

I don't think he is a bad person but I don't think a relationship is right for him at the moment. He has too much going on to make it work but he seems sweet to be calling you so often so he must really care about you.

I would want to know when time would be available for you to see each other regularly. Maybe talk about seeing other people until he is able to see you regularly.

mommytoeandb
by Platinum Member on May. 6, 2012 at 6:47 PM
The broken date would have done it for me. He doesn't have time for a commitment or doesn't want one. Just be honest and tell him you can't wait any longer.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on May. 6, 2012 at 6:47 PM
1 mom liked this

all men would. regardless if it is true or not. I swear its like a male flaw lol. but I'm suspicious, so you have to do what you feel is right.

Quoting Anonymous:

I asked him this, of course he denied it

Quoting bustybee:

i dunno, I'm the suspicious kind and would assume that he is keeping you around for when his other beau hits the road



Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 6, 2012 at 6:48 PM
1 mom liked this

I think you are being strung along and I wouldn't sleep with him until I had a chance to be around his family and friends for at least 6 months. In that time I would flat out ask many of them about his relationship status and if previously married. This man may work a lot but it sounds like he is married and you are a side fling. Maybe you should find a way to follow him one day. I don't think are going to find what you are being told. In all honesty I think I wouldn't bother with any of the above and find a man for me but in your case you might need to go get this closure and then walk. 

Jamie1972
by Ruby Member on May. 6, 2012 at 6:50 PM
Maybe the 2nd job is to buy u sonething really special. I had a boyfriend once that worked multiple jobs. He wanted finiacal security for when we got married someday and i wouldnt have to work. I ended up cheating on him cuz i nvr saw him and he always broke a date. I should have taljed to him but i was 18 young n dumb.
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lovinglife0682
by on May. 6, 2012 at 6:53 PM
2 moms liked this
Are you sure he is really single?
singletiredmom
by on May. 6, 2012 at 6:54 PM
My bf and I go thru the same stuff. He works nights with 2 days off during the week and I work days min - fri. We rely on stollen moments. Meeting for coffee on his way to work. Him meeting us at Sam's Club on sat morning after work. It's a give and take game and to me it sounds like he is only willing to sacrifice his time with you. 3 months is a long time and if he really wanted to see you he would have found a way. I could be wrong.....
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lovinglife0682
by on May. 6, 2012 at 6:55 PM
Not all men but just the ones who would have a wife or girlfriend and a fling on the side.


Quoting bustybee:

all men would. regardless if it is true or not. I swear its like a male flaw lol. but I'm suspicious, so you have to do what you feel is right.


Quoting Anonymous:


I asked him this, of course he denied it


Quoting bustybee:


i dunno, I'm the suspicious kind and would assume that he is keeping you around for when his other beau hits the road






Posted on CafeMom Mobile
IWannaLoveAgain
by on May. 6, 2012 at 6:58 PM
1 mom liked this

Why dont you offer to go to these places that he's spending time at? To his nephew's game? To clubs? I mean if y'all have been together for a year, then I think that's time enough to have been made aquainted with his family and friends.

If not then I would question his actual intentions with you..

.not.angel.
by on May. 6, 2012 at 7:03 PM

Didn't read past the title.

You're asking for relationship advice... on CM... in this group. Yes, you are delusional.

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