I am a new member. I am here because I don't know where else to turn. I don't know what to do. I need to escape. I need to get out. I have spent the last year and a half at home, never gone out, never seeing my friends, never doing anything besides DR appts and such for the baby. The father says if I want to leave he wants full custody. Let's be honest, I stand no chance in hell if I fight. I have no job, I am young, and my future is dim. I don't want mediocre. I don't want PA my whole life. I want a future. A good one. One that I don't have to worry about finances. I want to let him take the baby, and go make a life for myself, and get him back when I'm ready, or maybe do joint custody. This isn't about partying, or going out. This is about me not wanting to live in the hood my whole life, me wanting to fulfill my aspiration of becoming a lawyer, and being successful. What kind of life would I REALLY be able to give my baby living like I am now? I know it's been done by other moms, but I feel like I'd get it done so much quicker if I could just go do it without having to worry about stuff like daycare, etc. I just want an assoiciates, and maybe in paralegal or something... something. Something that I'd be good at, that I could make enough money to support myself and my child.
Update: Just want to thank everyone who understood, and for those of you who thought I was selfish- whatever. I think my main issue now, after talking to the moms who weren't catty, is that I have PPD. For those of you who didn't read the replies. I was told I wouldn't be able to have children, so this was not planned. All I was thinking about was where my child and I will be in 5 years- and right now, 5 years from now seems dim. All I wanted, was joint custody. That's not abandoning, that's having half time at each parent's house.
That being said, now I'm going to look into resources to help with my PPD, since I don't have any insurance. Clearly no one can relate, because I'm sure no one on here has had PPD, right? I feel alone, hopeless, trapped, deprived, anxious... It's horrible. So, thanks for thinking I was selfish.