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Payment for motherly/wifely duties???*** update in red***

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So a quick back fil was here yesterday and was fussing about my house. I've literally been on the go for. Nearly four weeks straight. My house is cluttered yes it it. There is laundry to be done but my house is NOT dirty.

He tells me that I should be ashamed. That he thinks my dh should pay be for my work as a mom and wife and that I shouldn't get paid if the house is messy or I don't cook a fabulous meal every night.

That if dh puts the kids to bed or anything like that it should be held from my "paycheck". I think this is ridiculous. Yes I'm a Sahm and I do the cleaning and MOST of the child care 9 out of 10 times dh comes home to a hot meal.

Anyway my question is do u think a Sahm should get paid for her duties. I should state my fil believes that this money should be for my food and my needs. And if I don't earn it I don't get to eat or have things I need.


UPDATE-for those of u that feel a sahm should have a SPOTLESS house yeah right. my house is what i call "company ready" at all times spotless no.  I have a life. I have a 1 year old at home and two others in school. My 1 year old has play dates and storyhour my oldest dd is in girl scouts and im the leader of her troop and we meet at my house. my ds plays tball plus i keep two little girls after school. its inpossible to keep a spotless house all the time.  so back off and come back to reality.

yes my fil is old fashoned (sp) and no my dh does not agree. like i said 9/10 times my dh has dinner waiting on him. the ONLY chore he does is takes out the trash and sometimes he will vaccume.  He helps with the kids when he gets home but guess what hes their dad and is supposed to spend time with them.  I love being a sahm and require no other payment than my families happiness and love!!!!

by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:19 AM
Replies (161-166):
by Anonymous 20 on May. 7, 2012 at 6:15 PM
Thank you

Quoting SDarvasi:

Well la de da. Aren't you just perfect?

Here...have a medal.

Quoting Anonymous:

My husband and I are the only ones watching the kids. He works days, I work nights. The kids are always home and one or both of us as well..

Quoting SDarvasi:

It's a bit easier to keep a spotless home when no one is home all day.

Quoting Anonymous:

It shouldn't be?? Weird, I work a full time job and my house is ALWAYS spotless and I'm the only one who cleans... So I beg to differ.

by Navy Mom on May. 7, 2012 at 6:39 PM

Here's a reality check for your FIL...If you worked outside of the home, your DH would have to contribute to the following:

  • Cleaning lady
  • child care
  • extra auto expenses for your vehicle
  • cooking as you won't always get home before hubby
  • the shuffling of children back and forth to activities for the kids
  • dry cleaning for your work wardrobe
  • full-time summer and holiday child care...this is more expensive than the typical before/after school care
  • Supplies for the kids for said child care...snacks, changes of clothing, etc.
by Anonymous 24 on May. 7, 2012 at 6:40 PM
1 mom liked this
Ha a pay check? I have 3 kids of my own. Care for my. 2 y/o Sd wed-sun. &I have to get food stamps &kitty the clothes closet. May birthday present this year is a wall finally being put in between the girls room & the storage. Its a huge renovated room previously a garage! But a paycheck to be a SAHM? Yeah right! If my inlaws, outlaws or otherwise any one wants to judge my house, they can kiss my ass! I would tell your file the same if I were you!
by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:05 PM

Ignore others. Your house is not a show house, it's a HOME. One that is lived in and kids are loved. People with spotless houses either have maids, don't need sleep or are dipping into all of their kid's time. My home is not dirty and you can often eat off the floor but it's not always tidy. I tidy it several times a day but I have children and we do live here. My mom who kept a clean home would say and still does, people don't come to see your home they come to see you and if anyone is coming to judge your house then who cares, let them. 

Now for that FIL, I'd of told him that I didn't marry him. I married his son. That his son was obviously happy. I would also have told him that his pay scale wouldn't work because you are a great lay and your bed rates exceed your husband's income so unless he is getting a second job to pay for the hot sex then he is happy about your home. If Dh gets a second job then use that to pay for a maid. =) lol. 

(I'm in a mood today so my replies are not the norm. =)

by Anonymous 25 on May. 7, 2012 at 7:09 PM


Quoting Kmary:

Your FIL is a misogynistic jerk.


by Member on May. 7, 2012 at 7:24 PM

 i would have told him to mind his own damn business, sounds like your doing a terrific job keep up the good work!!!!!

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