Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Payment for motherly/wifely duties???*** update in red***

Posted by   + Show Post

So a quick back story....my fil was here yesterday and was fussing about my house. I've literally been on the go for. Nearly four weeks straight. My house is cluttered yes it it. There is laundry to be done but my house is NOT dirty.

He tells me that I should be ashamed. That he thinks my dh should pay be for my work as a mom and wife and that I shouldn't get paid if the house is messy or I don't cook a fabulous meal every night.

That if dh puts the kids to bed or anything like that it should be held from my "paycheck". I think this is ridiculous. Yes I'm a Sahm and I do the cleaning and MOST of the child care 9 out of 10 times dh comes home to a hot meal.

Anyway my question is do u think a Sahm should get paid for her duties. I should state my fil believes that this money should be for my food and my needs. And if I don't earn it I don't get to eat or have things I need.

 

UPDATE-for those of u that feel a sahm should have a SPOTLESS house yeah right. my house is what i call "company ready" at all times spotless no.  I have a life. I have a 1 year old at home and two others in school. My 1 year old has play dates and storyhour my oldest dd is in girl scouts and im the leader of her troop and we meet at my house. my ds plays tball plus i keep two little girls after school. its inpossible to keep a spotless house all the time.  so back off and come back to reality.

yes my fil is old fashoned (sp) and no my dh does not agree. like i said 9/10 times my dh has dinner waiting on him. the ONLY chore he does is takes out the trash and sometimes he will vaccume.  He helps with the kids when he gets home but guess what hes their dad and is supposed to spend time with them.  I love being a sahm and require no other payment than my families happiness and love!!!!

by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:19 AM
Replies (21-30):
gomomgomom
by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:40 AM
Oh lord if I let dh cook the house would prob burn down. Or we'd starve that man cannot cook.

Quoting Anonymous:

You FIL would hate the way our house hold is ran... I wouldn't eat often or get things I needed... I do maybe 10percent the cooking.. I clean when I feel like it DH cleans when I don't. Dishes are done by him 95% the time. I do the laundry but we never fold it. Mostly just hung up or layed out.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
skyes_mama
by Silver Member on May. 7, 2012 at 7:41 AM
Does your DH ever say crap like that?

I would be pissed! I am a SHM but my #1 responsibility(sp) is the health and happiness of my kids. If the house, laundry is clean that's just a bonus!

What is MIL like?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
RhondaVeggie
by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:42 AM
Actually setting up a formal payment system would be wrong on so many levels but when you think about it it does partially work that way anyway. If I'm lazy and don't cook dinner then it means I either need to buy something lazy to cook or get takeout which eats in to the household budget meaning less fun money for me. If I never cleaned and had to hire someone that would definitely eat in to my budget! I work hard and do stuff that others might hire people to do from cooking from scratch to home repair and decoration. That means there's enough in the budget for me to treat myself occasionally, get decent clothes and so on.
lvnmybabies248
by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:42 AM
your fil sounds like a complete moron. no i dont think a sahm should get paid etc.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
donnadea
by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:42 AM
well I dont have a man any more. But when I did I was a Sahm and he didnt pay me but I always had a roof over my head, good food to eat and my NEEDS were always taken care of.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
braezmommy89
by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:42 AM
Agreed! Hahaha ;)


Quoting mantyangel:

My man couldnt afford me lol

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jshalas89
by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:42 AM
SOs do not get paid enough money to maintain a wage that is consistent with how much we do daily. We would need about a $300,000 salary. Could he afford that? Does either SO or FIL have days off with their "real" jobs? Well so do we. Tell your FIL to worry about your MIL and not you and your home. Here's an idea! Why doesn't FIL just come and do "wifely duties" and your SO pay him because last I checked men have arms, legs and a heartbeat and could do the same job we can!?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
gomomgomom
by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:44 AM
My dh thinks the whole idea is nuts. And mil dosent agree with this idea.

Quoting skyes_mama:

Does your DH ever say crap like that?



I would be pissed! I am a SHM but my #1 responsibility(sp) is the health and happiness of my kids. If the house, laundry is clean that's just a bonus!



What is MIL like?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
CoolRelax
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2012 at 7:45 AM

 

gomomgomom
by on May. 7, 2012 at 7:45 AM
This is true I couldn't imagine hiring someone to do housework when I stay home. It is my job but if I skip a day of laundry cuz I'm not home I don't think I should have to go hungry lol.

Quoting RhondaVeggie:

Actually setting up a formal payment system would be wrong on so many levels but when you think about it it does partially work that way anyway. If I'm lazy and don't cook dinner then it means I either need to buy something lazy to cook or get takeout which eats in to the household budget meaning less fun money for me. If I never cleaned and had to hire someone that would definitely eat in to my budget! I work hard and do stuff that others might hire people to do from cooking from scratch to home repair and decoration. That means there's enough in the budget for me to treat myself occasionally, get decent clothes and so on.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)