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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Seriously?!?! Sister vent...(long)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 95 Replies

My sister is 5 years younger than me and 23 weeks pregnant with her first child. She is 5'4" and probably around 300 pounds (that's just a guess, I don't know what her actual weight is). She's one of my best friends and I've always been worried about her because of her weight, but she's never seemed to notice or care at all that she's morbidly obese. Anyway, she called me the other day after her OB appointment crying saying that the doctor told her he didn't want her gaining any more weight. She's gained 14 pounds so far. She said "It's not fair!! Everybody I know that's been pregnant has gained like 40 pounds and their doctor never said anything to them. Why am I not allowed to gain 40 pounds? I'm pregnant too!!". I tried to nicely tell her that how much you gain is based off of your starting weight, so it is understandable that he didn't want her to gain anymore and she acted completely offended and clueless like she didn't realize that she's even overweight.

Here's what amazes me is the things she says though. Like, one day we were out shopping and I was trying on some jeans. I mentioned how frustrating it is trying to find jeans to fit my body type (because I have a small waist and a big butt) and she was like "Me too!! I think the reason I wear a size 24 is because we got our mom's genes. We all have big butts!! lol". I was dumbfounded.

I was also talking to her the other day on the phone about what I'm doing right now to try to be healthier (kinda hinting to her that it may be a good idea for her) and I said how much better I'd been feeling since starting to go to the gym 6 days a week and only drinking water and eating healthy foods. She went on to tell me "Oh, I know. Before I got pregnant I was able to maintain my weight for almost 5 years. I'm sure after I have this baby I'll be able to get down to my pre-pregnancy weight and maintain it.". Really?!? Why would you want to maintain 300 lbs?? She eats fast food for at least 2 (if not 3) meals every day. She has a free gym at her apartment complex that she has never stepped foot in. All she ever talks about is food. If we're going to hang out, her first question is "where are we going to eat?". IF she makes a meal at home it's either an entire box of Hamburger Helper for just her and her husband or spaghetti with bread sticks/cheese toast. She won't touch a single vegetable because "vegetables aren't for everyone. not everyone can eat them and enjoy them like you do.".

Sorry, I just had to get this all out. I want to help her, but if she's not ready to change then there's nothing I can do. I used to be worried about offending her, but I almost don't care anymore. I'm worried about her!! She already gets out of breath if she has to walk for more than 10 minutes. She has trouble standing for long periods of time. She's only 24 years old!!! I feel like if I don't step in and say something then she's not going to be around for her son for very long :-(

Posted by Anonymous on May. 7, 2012 at 9:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
meka26
by Gold Member on May. 7, 2012 at 10:01 AM

BUMP

edelweiss23
by on May. 7, 2012 at 10:05 AM
2 moms liked this

sometimes it might be better to just be blunt with people.  My husband was very blunt with me when I got to a size 24.  Thankfully he said something because he loved me so much and didn't want to loose me.  I got healthy, and am getting back in shape.  Maybe use an incentive for her to loose weight.  When she is finished loosing weight, you will take her for a day of pampering.  I was 298lbs at my heaviest and am now down to 196, I run 6 miles 3 days a week and have never felt better.  She needs to want to be around for her sons life.  There are a few movies you might show her.  If you want PM me and I'll be glad to help!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 7, 2012 at 10:05 AM

Bump!! What would you do??

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 7, 2012 at 10:09 AM
Hahahah about the pants comment.... I can only imagine what must have been going thru your head. I had a friend who had a huggggge ass and would swear up and down she fit into a size 4 pant? It gave me the giggles
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 7, 2012 at 10:11 AM

First of all, good for you!!! That's an amazing weight loss!!

Second of all, were you offended at all when your husband said something to you? Did you realize how big you were before he said something?

I will definitely PM you in a little bit. The only reason I'm anon is because she's a member of this site and I don't want her to see this and know it's about her.

Quoting edelweiss23:

sometimes it might be better to just be blunt with people.  My husband was very blunt with me when I got to a size 24.  Thankfully he said something because he loved me so much and didn't want to loose me.  I got healthy, and am getting back in shape.  Maybe use an incentive for her to loose weight.  When she is finished loosing weight, you will take her for a day of pampering.  I was 298lbs at my heaviest and am now down to 196, I run 6 miles 3 days a week and have never felt better.  She needs to want to be around for her sons life.  There are a few movies you might show her.  If you want PM me and I'll be glad to help!!


areles
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2012 at 10:13 AM
wow. :/
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
GraceHudson
by on May. 7, 2012 at 10:14 AM
BUMP


Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 7, 2012 at 10:18 AM
3 moms liked this
You can't help her until she is ready to help herself. Sadly she probably doesn't see herself as huge. Maybe someone needs to sit her down and say you're disgustedly fat.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 7, 2012 at 10:21 AM

Yeah, I had to majorly sidestep that comment. My first thought was "Please tell me you realize your body looks nothing like mine.". I'm sure my face looked something like this though :-O lol

Quoting Anonymous:

Hahahah about the pants comment.... I can only imagine what must have been going thru your head. I had a friend who had a huggggge ass and would swear up and down she fit into a size 4 pant? It gave me the giggles


JadedFaerie
by on May. 7, 2012 at 10:23 AM

Honestly? I'd tell her to get her fat ass up and exercise. Fuck it, if you offend her, you offend her. Her death would be far more traumatising!

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