I updated last night...but i was mobile so i could only do it in the replies. but here was my update:
So he finally came home. He walked in, said hi to our son and walked away. Then he came back and said "my principal said she advises you not to contact a again". So I tell him I wansnt going to, my email clearly states that. and he says how she feels like I won't stop emailing her, and she feels like she can't work. And she could sue me for deformation of character (only she told the whole school...I didnt) and i'm harassing her. (Ok good luck with that over 1 email).
Anyway...he said his job is safe but he doesn't know about next year cause the principal said he's a liability. then he said everyone looks at him disgusted now (inside I love that). and when I started to say something he got mad and walked away. Took a shower and then left.
at that moment I realized this is over and cant be fixed. I don't even really believe him about his story either.
I've been really busy at work today so it's helping keep my mind off of it. but i haven't said a word to him and i don't plan on doing so. i just need to get my stuff together and figured out to take the first step in leaving. the more and more i read over this post and think about all the events of yesterday i know theres no way i can stay in this relationship.
ughhh. so my SO cheated with someone at work. he's a teacher, she was a guidance counsoler that comes into the school a few days a week.
we've been trying to work it out (i found out about 2 months ago)...but it always comes up and I can't seem to get over it.
over the weekend we were arguing again, and he finally told me to just contact her already because he wanted me to get the story from her and stop questioning him that everything he told me was a lie.
i finally did. i wasn't too mean, it took me 2 days to write the email. i read it over and over again. i know i sounded desperate...but i had to say my peace to her before i could finally let it die.
i sent her this email: (A is her...J is my SO)
I have no idea if you actually know who I am or not (from what I've been told, you do). I'm J's girlfriend of the last 8 years. I recently found out about your "relationship" with him. I've contemplated whether I should contact you or not, how I should contact you, and what I should say.
I only have 1 thing to say to you...congrats on being a homewrecker! Our relationship was never perfect...but while I sat here every night taking care of the house and our son and trying my hardest to make our relationship work. He was off lying and sneaking around with you. J told me you knew what you were doing the whole time...whether that is true or not, I don't know but in the end I hope it was worth it for you!
I've seen the poems, the valentines day cards, the emails and I expect to never see any of that again.
I also don't really expect a response from you....and no I'm not trying to start any "baby mama drama." I am writing to you one women to another and to say what I need to so I can move on from this devastating blow to my family.
Lastly, I do have to say thank you for making me realize what was really wrong in our relationship.... at least one good thing could come out of such an ugly situation.
Have a nice night!
I hit send last night around 7:30. I get to work this morning and SO calls me to ask if I ever ended up contacting her. i told him i sent her an email and that was all. he said his principal called him this morning and needs him to come and talk to her. I think the girl went to his principal
a little back story. they had been seeing each other since August of last year, and it ended in February of this year. I found out right after it ended. she knew about me the whole time (or at least that's what he told me)...and she ended it after she finally gave him an ultimatum to leave me. when he said he wasn't and being with her was a mistake she went crazy and told him not to contact her again or she would put a restraining order on him. but then she sent him a few emails after even saying that.
i don't feel bad because he was the one who cheated, and especially with it being someone from work he should be man enough to face the consequences. but i can't help but feel sick to my stomach he might loose his job or something.
i just needed to get that out...
EDIT: for those wondering...i still haven't heard anything. which is making me think maybe it's not true. maybe she contacted him and told him i emailed her and this was his way of "scareing" me into not contacting her again without admitting she contacted him. either that...or this has turned into an all day thing at their school (which i can't imagine). I would try to text or call him...but i don't want him to think i'm doing it out of guilt. when i last talked to him he said he was sitting outside the principal's office like a child (i couldn't help but think well if you didn't behave like you wouldn't be sitting there). but i did say to him that i will not say sorry to him no matter what happens because i am no way at fault for why he's sitting there.