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I am responsible for my sons death

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

When my husband and I first got married we got pregnant really fast. Our son was born 10 months to the day after our wedding. He was perfect and we were in love with him. I exclusivley breastfed him and really enjoyed that bonding it gave me. When he was 8 weeks old I put him in his crib after nursing him at around 10pm. I was used to him waking up every 2 hours to nurse so at around 12:30 when I didn't hear him stirring or crying for me to come feed him I just decided that maybe he was going to start sleeping longer and took advantage of the time in bed. However, at 4am when I suddenly woke and realized that he had not cried for me at all I ran into his room to check on him. When I found him he was not breathing and completely still. I started screaming for my husband to come in and call 911. He was pronounced dead when the paramedics arrived. After the autopsy they determined that he had died at around 1am. If I only would have gone in to check on him when I first woke up he may still be alive. I completely blame myself for his death. I miss him everyday and wonder what he would look like. He would be turning 6 in July. We have been blessed with 2 other daughters who are healthy and beautiful. I know some of you are going to say that this is a troll post but I assure you it is not. I really wish it was. I have heard some pretty hurtful things over the years about my responsibility for his death and that I was being lazy. Nothing any of you ladies can say is going to break my heart more than it already is. I just really felt like getting it out. I don't talk about it ever because it is the most difficult thing that has happened to me.

Posted by Anonymous on May. 7, 2012 at 10:45 AM
Replies (71-80):
by Anonymous 9 on May. 7, 2012 at 11:36 AM

Quoting Anonymous:

Speaking as someone who is actually responsible for the death of a family member I can tell you that you are in no way responsible for your son's death.

elaborate please?

by Loree on May. 7, 2012 at 11:38 AM

im sorryIt was not your fault mama!!!!

by Anonymous 3 on May. 7, 2012 at 11:39 AM

Its fine. After I read your comment, I realized how that could have looked, especially since I posted anon. 

Quoting sondamom0828:

Oh, okay, thanks.  It is sad.  And I am sorry for ASSuming you were trying to cause drama (serves me right).  Thanks for helping her connect to others.  :)


Quoting Anonymous:

I'm just curious. I don't doubt her honesty or pain. It's tragic. If she isn't the same poster as before I was going to mention there's another mom on this site that's going through the same guilt as her. That post was heartbreaking.

Quoting sondamom0828:

Even if she did, it is okay.  Sometimes we need to let it out.  I know I post about my sons passing away.  If you are trying to start drama, please don't.  There are plenty of other posts out there for that.

Quoting Anonymous:

Did you post this before?

by Anonymous 10 on May. 7, 2012 at 11:40 AM
Its not your fault. A friend of mine fell asleep while rocking his baby. She died of sids right there in his arms. Sids is such a horrible thing. Its not your fault. Im so sorry.
by Ruby Member on May. 7, 2012 at 11:40 AM
I am sorry :(. That's not something anyone should have to go through.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:42 AM
I'm sorry for your loss. It wasn't your fault. You did everything right by your precious child. Like someone else said, I hope you overcome your feelings of guilt. ((Hugs))
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by Ruby Member on May. 7, 2012 at 11:42 AM
Momma, you are not to blame for this. You can't blame yourself for being tired and not wanting to disturb a sleeping child. If I were you, I probably would have done the same thing. Heck, I have done the same thing. There is nothing wrong with what you did and know one deserves the death of a child. (((((hugs))))).
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Gold Member on May. 7, 2012 at 11:42 AM
U are not responsible! I'm so so sorry but the lil angel is with you every day
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on May. 7, 2012 at 11:43 AM

by CanadaGirl on May. 7, 2012 at 11:44 AM

Wow.  I cannot imagine anyone blaming you for his death :( I'm sorry you had to hear such hurtful things and I am so sorry for your loss.

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