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do i tell shes planning on leaving? *EDIT for more info

Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies



Question: would you tell


tell dh

tell bil

tell mil

keep quite

Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 22

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ok, heres a little background first.... my dhs brother(1) moved to do some work for his other brother(2) and long story short ended up dating his brothers(2) ex girlfriends. weird, i know but whatever they seemed to like each other so no one said anything. so bil(1) moves back home and we all thought that the relationship would just dissolve. (bil 1, is kind of a loner, not good in relationships, told my dh he never wanted to get married or have kids, ect) well about 2 weeks after he left the girlfriend founs out she was preggo. she moved to where bil lived, had the baby, and they got pressured into getting married by mil who is very religious. when they started talking about marriage we were all kind of surprised becasue they didnt get along very well, had nothing in common and fought all the time. they got married and its been less than a year...

sil has no friends where they live, and the only family is a hateful grandma and aunt that dont like her. so we kind of became friends. i was her only support system since i lived about 1 1/2 hours away. she would call me all of the time and tell me about all of the problems they were having. i of course wanted to be like duh... i dont even know why you got married! but whatever.... i was supportive. i talked to her about going to marriage counseling, and helped her work through her issues since he wouldnt go! their living situation is horrible... they dont sleep in the same bed, he yells, screams, cusses, and throws stuff, all around their 1 year old. any other person would have been out before the marriage. sil is nice, but shes not very bright.

so heres the thing... she calls me last night and tells me she thinks that shes going to leave him. she was planning on back to her hometown to visit her friends and our mil, and she said she doesnt think shes going back. she has no plan... no place to stay, no job nothing lined up but said that she would figure it out when she gets there. honestly i think she should leave bil because they both are miserable, but i think she needs a better plan. she asked me not to say anything to anyone, which i understand because she may not leave and that will just cause me unwanted drama. however my husband and i share everything, and i dont feel right about not telling him. also i like my bil and i dont want him to get the raw end of the deal either. i think if i tell dh her will tell bil and it might cause drama for sil.... i dont know what to do? tell, keep my mouth shut, or what? 


so i did tell dh, because i tell him everything and it was killing me knowing this and not being able to talk to him about it. he wont tell! sil called me after she left and told me what happened. she talked to him and told him that she was leaving and didnt know when she was coming back


Posted by Anonymous on May. 7, 2012 at 12:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 2 on May. 7, 2012 at 12:46 PM
Dont say anything. Its not something you need to be involved in.
by Gold Member on May. 7, 2012 at 12:48 PM

She may never actually leave and only be venting, If she doesn't leave and you had told someone that she was thinking of it you will be responsible for causing a shit storm. 

by on May. 7, 2012 at 12:49 PM
I would tell my Dh, IF I knew he would keep his mouth shut...if he isn't some one who can... I would claim ignorance.
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by Anonymous 3 on May. 7, 2012 at 12:51 PM
1 mom liked this

It's none of your business, so respect her wishes, and keep quiet. 

by on May. 7, 2012 at 12:53 PM

Do not get involved! It will cause the unwanted drama...keep quiet and let her get out as fast as possible!

by on May. 7, 2012 at 12:55 PM

Don't say anything.  These sort of things have a way of coming back and biting you. 

by on May. 7, 2012 at 12:55 PM

I would tell my dh. I personally would stay out of it but me and dh have no secrets. If he wanted to tell his brother that would be on him.

by Anonymous 4 on May. 7, 2012 at 12:58 PM
Don't say anything. And politely ask her not to tell you things in the future that you would have to keep from your husband.
by on May. 7, 2012 at 1:00 PM
I would have to tell dh. But my dh would keep him mouth shut.
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by Anonymous 5 on May. 7, 2012 at 1:00 PM
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