Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

do i tell shes planning on leaving? *EDIT for more info

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: would you tell

Options:

tell dh

tell bil

tell mil

keep quite


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 22

View Results

ok, heres a little background first.... my dhs brother(1) moved to do some work for his other brother(2) and long story short ended up dating his brothers(2) ex girlfriends. weird, i know but whatever they seemed to like each other so no one said anything. so bil(1) moves back home and we all thought that the relationship would just dissolve. (bil 1, is kind of a loner, not good in relationships, told my dh he never wanted to get married or have kids, ect) well about 2 weeks after he left the girlfriend founs out she was preggo. she moved to where bil lived, had the baby, and they got pressured into getting married by mil who is very religious. when they started talking about marriage we were all kind of surprised becasue they didnt get along very well, had nothing in common and fought all the time. they got married and its been less than a year...

sil has no friends where they live, and the only family is a hateful grandma and aunt that dont like her. so we kind of became friends. i was her only support system since i lived about 1 1/2 hours away. she would call me all of the time and tell me about all of the problems they were having. i of course wanted to be like duh... i dont even know why you got married! but whatever.... i was supportive. i talked to her about going to marriage counseling, and helped her work through her issues since he wouldnt go! their living situation is horrible... they dont sleep in the same bed, he yells, screams, cusses, and throws stuff, all around their 1 year old. any other person would have been out before the marriage. sil is nice, but shes not very bright.

so heres the thing... she calls me last night and tells me she thinks that shes going to leave him. she was planning on back to her hometown to visit her friends and our mil, and she said she doesnt think shes going back. she has no plan... no place to stay, no job nothing lined up but said that she would figure it out when she gets there. honestly i think she should leave bil because they both are miserable, but i think she needs a better plan. she asked me not to say anything to anyone, which i understand because she may not leave and that will just cause me unwanted drama. however my husband and i share everything, and i dont feel right about not telling him. also i like my bil and i dont want him to get the raw end of the deal either. i think if i tell dh her will tell bil and it might cause drama for sil.... i dont know what to do? tell, keep my mouth shut, or what? 

*EDIT*

so i did tell dh, because i tell him everything and it was killing me knowing this and not being able to talk to him about it. he wont tell! sil called me after she left and told me what happened. she talked to him and told him that she was leaving and didnt know when she was coming back

 

Posted by Anonymous on May. 7, 2012 at 12:33 PM
Replies (11-19):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 7, 2012 at 1:02 PM

really? did you not read the part where she calls me all the time to tell me her problem? or where she called me to tell me she was planning on leaving!

Quoting Anonymous:

BUTT THE FUCK OUT!


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 7, 2012 at 1:04 PM

exactly what i was thinking...

Quoting Chuckydoodle:

She may never actually leave and only be venting, If she doesn't leave and you had told someone that she was thinking of it you will be responsible for causing a shit storm. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 7, 2012 at 1:10 PM

i know that if i asked him not to tell he wouldnt, but i dont know if i should share this burden with him!


 

Quoting kellyg1987:

I would tell my Dh, IF I knew he would keep his mouth shut...if he isn't some one who can... I would claim ignorance.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 7, 2012 at 3:52 PM
It is NOT your place to go tattle to the family. What if she doesn't leave?


Quoting Anonymous:

really? did you not read the part where she calls me all the time to tell me her problem? or where she called me to tell me she was planning on leaving!


Quoting Anonymous:

BUTT THE FUCK OUT!



LovelyBugs
by on May. 7, 2012 at 3:56 PM

If you dont want to get involved dont say anything...its his brother so if you tell him he is going to tell his brother, she may have just been venting and by saying anything you could cause a lot of undo drama..with that being said I know its easier said than done with not telling DH. I tell my DH everything so I know it can put you in an uncomfortable position, but if you can talk to him and know that he wont say anything 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 7, 2012 at 4:35 PM

i tell my dh everything... i wasnt planning on telling anyone else, i just added them to the poll to see what other people would do

Quoting Anonymous:

It is NOT your place to go tattle to the family. What if she doesn't leave?


Quoting Anonymous:

really? did you not read the part where she calls me all the time to tell me her problem? or where she called me to tell me she was planning on leaving!


Quoting Anonymous:

BUTT THE FUCK OUT!

 



Mothmamma
by on May. 7, 2012 at 4:53 PM

Personally i wouldn't have said anything, it strikes me that if bil finds out it could very well end up being a domestic violence situation.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 7, 2012 at 5:03 PM
Sounds like you were planning on telling DH anyway. Keep in mind it IS about HIS BROTHERS IMMEDIATE FAMILY. So he may tell his brother.


Quoting Anonymous:

i tell my dh everything... i wasnt planning on telling anyone else, i just added them to the poll to see what other people would do


Quoting Anonymous:

It is NOT your place to go tattle to the family. What if she doesn't leave?



Quoting Anonymous:


really? did you not read the part where she calls me all the time to tell me her problem? or where she called me to tell me she was planning on leaving!



Quoting Anonymous:

BUTT THE FUCK OUT!


 





Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 7, 2012 at 8:03 PM

i wasnt sure what to do! which is why i posted in the first place. we talk about everything and keep no secrets, so when she asked me not to tell it was difficult decision! but i told him and he would never tell. but his brother now knows so it doesnt really matter

Quoting Anonymous:

Sounds like you were planning on telling DH anyway. Keep in mind it IS about HIS BROTHERS IMMEDIATE FAMILY. So he may tell his brother.


Quoting Anonymous:

i tell my dh everything... i wasnt planning on telling anyone else, i just added them to the poll to see what other people would do


Quoting Anonymous:

It is NOT your place to go tattle to the family. What if she doesn't leave?



Quoting Anonymous:


really? did you not read the part where she calls me all the time to tell me her problem? or where she called me to tell me she was planning on leaving!



Quoting Anonymous:

BUTT THE FUCK OUT!


 



 



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)