yet again other friend has given birth naturally. i want to cry outta sorrow for myself. i had a csection Dec 2010 with my first. i signed for it and booked it myself after my family doctor told me i had cpd and ultrasound tech agreed that my sons 14inch head wouldn't engage becos it couldn't fit. i was 38weeks then and 39 weeks 1 day when i gave birth via csection. i had a clean easy c/s. other then not being able to do some stuff that made me really upset i healed fine and barely have a scar. yet here i am crying my eyes out becos i wish i hadn't signed that form. i know Im my heart my pelvis would have been able to do it. i know i was being in patient at the same time and now Im stuff knowing i have high chance of failing in a vbac or not even being allowed one since i have Cpd on file. i have limited myself on how.many children i could possibly have...
Im really upset every time i see someone have a vag birth. i cry watching birthing shows wishing it was me.
Im not depressed but Im depressed in the moment.
all i wanna do is get pregnant and have a natural birth to prove i can.