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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Why do you care what I do with my son's penis??? *edit*

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If you choose not to circumsize your sons- ok, fine. To each their own.

But please don't come on here bashing Mom's WHO DO!

We have our reasons too!!!! You may not 'agree' with them, but that's not your job. You're job is to be the best Mom to YOUR kids as you can, not judge MY every action as a parent to MY kids.

I really wish we could stop bashing eachother and be supportive of one another... I thought that's what CafeMom was about, silly me. 

So if you want to make a post calling us ignorant, don't be surprised when we defend ourselves. 

THIS IS NOT A DEBATE. I WILL NOT ARGUE WITH YOU ABOUT THE DECISIONS I HAVE MADE AS A PARENT. I AM ASKING YOU TO PLEASE PLEASE STOP JUDGING ME. BECAUSE I DON'T JUDGE YOU! 

I have never once said, 'Oh wow you didn't circumcise your son? That's ignorant.' Before you jump all over me for posting something you're passionate about read the damn thing and try to grasp what I'm saying!!! WHY DO YOU CARE IF MY KID IS CIRCUMCISED OR NOT?


by on May. 8, 2012 at 8:55 AM
Replies (441-446):
Mom2alexx
by on May. 9, 2012 at 11:13 AM

I circumcised my son and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

My sister never circumcised my nephew. He suffered 4 years of infection after infection with his penis CONSTANTLY SWOLLEN for 4 years. He was given every antibiotic and cream under the sun to cure it but nothing worked until the Province paid for it. It all could of been prevented if she did it at birth but she didn't want to cause she didn't have the money (her pack of smokes for the month was more important then her son's welfare).

She wasn't the one driving his prescriptions to the drugstore, taking him to the hospital at 3 am cause his screams were so blood curdling. I vowed to NEVER let my son be in that mush pain all to save a few bucks.

And just as people have ridiculed me about me & my husband's decision to save our son the pain of future infections. I ask why would anyone want to play Russian Roulette with there son's health?

 

sqrocket
by on May. 9, 2012 at 12:06 PM

Quoting jediGert:


Well, I mentioned Hitler in among other such events not just by himself( I know, I just didn't want to relist everything you said so I called it "Hitler").  Too much passion and too much power almost always leads to someone being hurt.  Even if it's just a parent to a child.  Passion has to be tempered at all times, with compassion.  It's not by accident that the first word is inside the second.  Many people who are gung-ho on their ideals forget that and run roughshod over the very person they wanted to save. Thank you for the warning. I will proceed with care when dealing with others lest I become a murderous tyrant.

As for closed minds, I was referring to a universal you, not a specific you. How is a universal me different from a specific me?

Here's the thing, you say, "I would love to change some one's mind about circumcision because I think it is wrong."  What about people that do not think it's wrong?  Do they not also have a right to think for themselves? Yes, they do have a right to think for themselves and to gather information for themselves. I just think that if they truly did this, circumcision would appear to be wrong under most circumstances.  Do you really and honestly believe in this day and age that most people are not making an informed decision when they choose to have this procedure done? Yes, people make uninformed decisions all the time. Look at how many people vote without first educating themselves about their choices.

I know you would love to change people's minds, but would they love you to butt into their business?  Do you love it when people you don't know butt into yours?  That's where the compassion comes in.  You have to consider not only the other person's feelings, but their rights too.  They do have the right to make that decision for their own child as his parents and you do not have the right to interfere. I have never said that I would like to interfere. If a person changes his/her mind about circumcision, it should be the result of a personal realization that whatever they are currently doing is less good than the alternative. If someone were able to present a convincing argument to me that promoted circumcision, I might be persuaded to change my mind about it. That is why it is important to discuss controversial issues; it promotes the circulation of information and may lead to an answer (if there is one).While not strictly necessary it's also no more barbaric than piercing a child's ears before they are old enough to decide.  Lots of parents do that too and girls don't get a local nor does it heal as fast.  Yet I don't see you making that argument even though the latter causes far more pain, is just as barbaric and is equally unnecessary.   I actually diliberately avoided bringing piercing up as I was not interested in expanding our discussion even further. If you would like to discuss piercing as well, we can.

Quoting sqrocket:

I don't think I have a closed mind. I am very open to hearing arguments that are backed up by intelligence and adequate knowledge of the subject.

What I didn't like about your Hitler reference is that it is a multipurpose silver bullet. You can use this as a fall back statement in any situation where someone has gotten passionate about the topic at hand. Taking a discussion to extremes is a great way to shut it down and says to me that you are out of ammo.

I would love to change someone's mind about circumcision because I think it is wrong. I am not going to change their mind by force, but I can still argue my point. I would also argue against someone who thought it was right to use force to try to change the minds of people who circumcise their boys.

(Also, let me be clear. I am not arguing against circumcision to treat an existing condition. Nor am I arguing against it if a male decides he wants one. I am only arguing against circumcising healthy male babies.)

Quoting jediGert:

I use contrasting comparisons to point out the flaws in the thought process of other posters.  Usually by the time I do that I've already figured out the other person's mind was as closed as their mouth was open.  Sometimes it gets through to them, more often not.

There's nothing wrong with a strong opinion actually, it's just if you want to change some one's thinking you have to honey coat it.  If you don't care if the person changes their mind or not, and I often don't care because hay, it's their life to live, I just drop my opinion on them and let it settle in whatever crease in their saddle it hits.  I don't mind being a burr, but I'm also not really trying to change any one's mind.  You are.

Well that, and sometimes someone does need to hear a harsh truth to really think.  Lots of people don't think at all.

Quoting sqrocket:

Thank you. I will take into consideration that my methods of communicating were too harsh to be effective (effective in that I am able to communicate, not in that I am able to change another's mind).

As long as we are sharing communication advice. I would like to suggest that you are a bit of an extremist. Perhaps it would be more effective for you stay on topic with your rebuttals.

Quoting jediGert:

And yet all it takes is a few people with power imposing their will on others to become Hitler doesn't it?  So, not so different.  You haven't killed in the name of it and I doubt you will, but someone might.  It happens all the time, is still happening in many places.  And as I said, it always starts innocently enough with the I'm right and your wrong statement.

You aren't, actually, exchanging ideas like you think.  I personally wouldn't do it and this is why is exchanging ideas.  You are a bad parent for doing this however, is dictating your ideals onto another.  The latter is a lot closer to your argument than the former.  Perhaps approaching the subject as educator instead of judge and jury might get you a less combative response in the future.

Quoting sqrocket:

I do respect others. I respect their right to choose and I respect other cultures. That does not mean that I have to keep quiet when I disagree with a practice. I do not hope to impose my will on anyone, but I hope to keep dialogue about these issues open so that there is still space for change. That is where I am different from Hitler, where I am different from the Inquisition, where I am different from genecide.


Quoting jediGert:

There are cultures where this is done when someone is still a child.  As legally a child has no way of consenting to the procedure, at least according to our laws, by your definition this is mutilation... however, such cultures are not YOUR culture and you should respect other people's cultures even when they do not agree with your personal opinion on right and wrong.  Killing another person is wrong, leaving a permanent mark on another person's body prior to adulthood is not wrong.  It may be wrong in your eyes because you would not personally do it nor understand why someone else would but that in and of itself does not make it wrong.

I have no issue with you disagreeing, what I have issue with is you seem to rather strongly believe that your morality is the only morality.  Funny, that's kind of how the Spanish inquisition happened.  It's also why Romans fed Christians to lions and why many Arabic countries would happily slaughter Hebrews.  Believing your way is the only way is a very dangerous path.  It starts out simple, innocent even.,., but it can go so tragically wrong so very very quickly.  Hitler anyone?  Salim witch trials?  I obviously can go on but I hope you already see my point.

Quoting sqrocket:

Tatoos and piercings are generally elective (if they are not, then the person choosing to have them done is actively harming another against their will).

I do agree that we all need to do the best we can. If it turns out that being circumcised is the best, then that is what we should do. Right now, it doesn't look like the best option, so I am not going to do it. Having your son cut is still having your son cut no matter how you view it.

Quoting jediGert:

And what if at some later point in time it's found that circumcision actually does have irrefutable medical benefit?  Are the uncircumcised guys supposed to rally?  You do better for your child, and I'll do better for mine and that lady over there will do better for hers and each of us as parents will make the best decisions we can for our own children.  You call it mutilation.  I don't.  That doesn't actually make you right because you could think piercings and tattoos are also mutilation and for you, this may be true and for many others this is false.

Truth depends greatly upon our point of view.

Quoting sqrocket:

No, we should not be mad at our parents. We should just try to do better for our children.

Quoting jediGert:

What if we lived in a culture where large earlobes were considered unattractive?  That social moor may change eventually but at the time, this was considered normal.  So what?  Everyone who had it done before society changed should go be mad at their parents for doing what was normal at the time?  What next?  Shall I be mad at my mom for dressing me in plaid bell bottoms as a child because they are not fashionable now?

Your argument has more holes than a colander.

Quoting RobinBright:

You're trying to steer away from the point at hand because you don't like that I shot a hole in your argument.  It's ok, it happens.

If you would consider it mutilation to cut off the excess skin of your earlobe, how is it NOT mutilation to cut off skin from the penis?  What is the difference between those two pieces of excess skin?  And, for the record, the foreskin has a function while the earlobe does not.  

Quoting Mrs_Szontagh:

yes, but i don't feel that's even in the same ballpark as snipping off excess skin from a part on my son that no one should see but his wife. i did what was best for my child, why is it so important that everyone feel the way you do?

do you have any idea how boring the world would be if we all agreed and everyone was the same? to each their own. you're way is right for you and my way is right for me. 

Quoting RobinBright:

Answer the question.  Would it be considered mutiliation if your earlobes were cut off without your permission?

Quoting Mrs_Szontagh:

do the ears look prettier or worse after the fact? 

Quoting RobinBright:

If I cut off your earlobes, your ears would still function perfectly.   Would it not be mutilation to cut off your earlobes?  

Quoting Mrs_Szontagh:

because it's a perfectly functioning penis afterwards- tell me how i've mutilated it?!?!?!?!!

Quoting sqrocket:

How is it not mutilation?

Quoting Mrs_Szontagh:

it's not fucking mutilation and i'm so frustrated with that argument it's not even funny. ugh! 

Quoting outtamymynd:

I agree, that whole mutilation argument is fucking stupid.





















Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 9, 2012 at 12:12 PM
hun i agree with u i didnt get my son circumcised when he was a baby and i regretted it a yr later when he had to have a medcially circumsion due to a cyst on the tip of it that was his very first surgery... Nobody has the right to judge what we do w our kids and i agree we come here for support also
baileymarie723
by Silver Member on May. 9, 2012 at 1:48 PM

I don't have a son, but if I end up having one in the future I will be having him circumcised.

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Caseri
by Member on May. 9, 2012 at 1:57 PM
Wow This seems to be a very judgemental group! I have a 4 year old daughter and a baby on the way! Just an FYI, if it's a boy ill have him circumsized! I don't think there's anything wrong with not doing it either!
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Myruhbel
by Member on May. 9, 2012 at 2:18 PM

amen on your post! =) you're his mom, your decisions and reasons are your choices and its not up to everyone else. Be strong!

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